Secrets of
Blissful Relationships

 

November
A Well Seasoned Courtship


A woman recently wrote to me asking for advice for her relationship. Her fiance proposed to her on their third date. She was thrilled at first but now the excitement has dwindled and she wanted some ideas for reigniting that spark.

My first bit of advice to her was to break off the engagement but continue to date the guy. They jumped in too fast and made a decision based too much on emotions. While it is possible they could end up having a blissful marriage, the odds are against them. Perhaps you often hear of people who "fell in love at first site," married shortly thereafter and are still going strong. Sadly, for every one of those love at first site, blissfully married couples there are hundreds of others whose marriage ended in a bitter divorce. 

Like the seasons, people change throughout the year. Woman and men have a noticeable reaction to the climate outdoors and the changes in the seasons. It was probably this very reason many marriage counselors recommend this dating ritual: A relationship should be well-seasoned before there is a commitment to marriage. After witnessing hundreds of courtships, engagements, marriages and divorces, I firmly believe that a couple should at the least date in the Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn before tying the knot. 

It is a well documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the Spring, but despise them in the Winter. Asking someone for their hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

Something to think about...

©2010, Michael Webb

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Romance is a love affair in other than domestic surroundings. - Walter Raleigh

Michael Webb is a world renowned relationship and romance expert having appeared on over 400 radio and television shows. He and his wife have been blissfully married for over 10 years. He is the best-selling author of The RoMANtic's Guide: Hundreds of creative tips for a lifetime of love.. Sign up for his FREE relationship tips newsletter by sending a blank e-mail to: E-Mail or visit www.TheRomantic.com or E-Mail



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