Who Are You?

Question: Given your lengthy association with Nathaniel Branden, are you an Objectivist in the Ayn Rand sense?

Answer: I am a neo-objectivist. Notice the lower case “o.” Most of us who use that label on ourselves are giving this shorthand answer: Objectivist Ethics and Economics are inarguable. However we strongly differ with Rand about the value, even honor, of not expressing and not owning one’s emotions.

Embracing Randian views of emotions was the reason I was unable to be a joyful happy hu-Man being. Branden’s therapy is NOTHING like Rand’s philosophy! He is a HUMANIST who understands the fundamental relationship of integrating all aspects of our NATURE, emotional and intellectual. I was living in my head! Love and life take place OUTSIDE of one’s head! Branden taught me how to integrate my emotional self with my intellectual self. He saved my life! I am eternally grateful.

In my workshops, teach and preach that relationships with women are not INTELLECTUAL UNDERTAKINGS! Love is physical and emotional. Men of Steel Balls understand that the goal is a caring, sharing, romantic relationship, “To a Grand time, as long as it shall last!” One cannot think his way thru love!

To expand a bit. Rand was totally, completely and absolutely wrong about human nature. We are not a logical, thinking machine on two legs. We are animals, who at the very last moment of evolution developed a neocortex. The extreme majority of our being is that of an emotional, feeling creature who just happens to be able to think in the abstract.

When the house is on fire, that is the time for suppressing one’s emotions. The rest of the time, we are best as emotional creatures.

Fritz Perls advised, “Lose your mind and come to your senses.” Love relationships are about emotions and senses. Jobs, careers, designs and finance are about rational thought. The essence of being happy is to be a feeling creature when that is appropriate and to be a thinking creature when that is appropriate. As Aristotle advocated, “Everything in moderation, except moderation.”

Joanna urges men to get a facial and a full body massage before going on any date that is of major importance, such as your first romantic dinner date with the woman of your dreams. Why? So you lose all that tension in your neck and face and that allows HER to see the love in your heart on your formerly hard face. Women can see everything! So one must remove the mask of tension and let one’s LIFE show, one’s aliveness show, one’s love to come shining through. In other words get real. That is what women LOVE.

©2008 R. Don Steele

Other Relationship Issues, Books


Don Steele has worked for more than 20 aerospace, defense and engineering companies as well as many political campaigns both in LA and in Hawaii. He became a Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in 1976. Beyond writing, other passions include a deep, abiding hatred for hypocrites, bureaucrats, poverty pimps and nearly all politicians; a lifelong devotion to anthropology, philosophy; astronomy and cosmology plus a long-term love affair with Hawaii, consummated in 1996. He and Joanna Bardot Lopez live in Whittier CA, with their number one dog Wolfie, number two dog, Tootsie, Peaches The Rabbit, Puppy Cat, Princess Cat, Snookums Cat and Bebe Cat. Don is the author of Date Young Women:  For men over 35 - Revised, How to Date Young Women:  For men over 35, Volume II, and most recently, Body Language Secrets. Check out steelballsAUDIO.COM and or E-Mail.

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