It Worked Out for Brangelina, Didn't it?
Ive learned a lot from reading your articles. I hope that you can help me with a major dilemma Im caught in.
Up until now I havent had many problems in the love department. I have a girlfriend of four years who Ill call Venus. We have a great relationship and have hopes for a great future. But recently a new girl, Shakira, has shown up in my life and confused everything.
Shakira started working with me at my job. We talked, and then I made a small move on her. To make a long story short, I played my cards right by not calling her immediately, which drove her Interest Level higher. She even asked me why I didnt call her right away and I responded that I was busy.
Now Doc, this girl is a beauty and all the guys at work love her and are after her. I try not to show it as much as they do, which has worked because she has told me that she likes me.
On our first night out, we kissed. The problem is that she has a boyfriend of five years and here shes messing around with me. And of course I have Venus, but Im really falling in love with Shakira. I dont know what to do. I dont want Shakiras Interest Level to go down because Im still young, 23, and want to take advantage of life. I think Shakira feels the same about me.
I didnt really want to fall for Shakira, but Im weak. Do you think I should tell her to break up with her boyfriend now? If she does, then Ill have to let Venus go. Do double breakups ever work out? Please tell me what I should do.
Shawn - whos losing sleep over the two of them
You said you havent had many problems in the love game. Dude, if youre memorizing my material you shouldnt have ANY problems with love, ever!
Shakira hasnt confused everything in your life, pal. She just confused YOU. And here you have a good girl for four good years and youre ready to just throw her aside for somebody else whos a complete stranger. Whats wrong with you? What are you thinking? Are you thinking at all?
But you did one thing right, Shawn. Telling Shakira that you were busy when she wanted you to fall all over her was perfect. Any time a girl asks you why you havent done something, just remember to say those two magic words: Im busy. Beautiful, Shawn well, so far, anyway.
We dont care what the other guys in your office are after, man. All were concerned about is who Shakira likes. That said, isnt it wonderful that the girl youre in love with is messing around with you when she has a long-term boyfriend? Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, This is like double adultery. And can you imagine all the other guys Shakira is dating?
Youre not falling in love with Shakira, pal. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, All youre falling in love with is newness and novelty.
Sure, youre young and want to take advantage of life, my friend. We all do. But you got a problem here such as that Shakira has a boyfriend of five years. Until that boyfriend is out of the picture and gone, this girl is not available. And until your girlfriend is gone, youre not available. So what we have here is a pair of unavailable people betraying the partners theyre supposed to be loyal to. Like my cousin General Love says, Gee, Id hate to be next to either one of you in a foxhole!
And wait just a minute here. What do you mean you think Shakira feels the same about you as you feel about her? Shawn, you have no clue whats going on between this babes ears. Youre just at the same job as she is and youve had a couple of measly dates. In other words, you know nothing whatsoever about this girl.
But you claim that youre weak. Youre not weak, Shawn. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, You just love beauty, my son, thats all.
Do I think you should tell Shakira to break up with her boyfriend? No, you shouldnt mention the boyfriend at all. But if she says yes when you ask her to dump her man, youd better be ready for the consequences all of the consequences, and you can bet theyre going to happen. If Shakira agrees to getting rid of her boyfriend, youll have to let Venus go. Then Shakira will go back to her boyfriend when she gets bored with you, and youll go back to your girlfriend. Shakiras boyfriend will take her back because she looks like Gisele Bundchens younger sister, but your girlfriend isnt going to take you back because youre nothing at all like Tom Brady. So now youve gone from one girl to none when you were trying to go from one girlfriend to two. Think about it, Shawn.
Do double breakups ever work out? It might have worked for Brad and Angelina, but numerically, the odds are horribly against it.
What should you do about this whole thing? First of all, stop flirting with Shakira. Then go home and make a list of all the great things you have with Venus and start thinking about the idea of LOYALTY. If you cant be loyal, guy, then get rid of your girl. You should be getting rid of your girl because you dont like her anymore or youre completely bored with her, not because you found somebody who appears to be better. And you cant even compare them because your girlfriend has four years in with you and this new girl only has a couple of hours in. Duh.
So now youre ready to make a long-term decision about two women while youre in a highly emotional state. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, Boy, you aint thinkin straight -- thats what this new girl done to you!
Remember, guys: loyalty is numero uno.
© 2007, DocLove Dot Com
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a mans perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and dont ramble.
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