Women Don't Lie,
Men Don't Listen

Does Ryan Gosling ever have Trouble with Her Exes?

Hey Doc,

About a year ago I started dating Gabriela and we had a great relationship. Things between us were pretty perfect basically, until she broke up with me after six months because she said she thought my new job would be too hard on the relationship. I didn’t really believe this excuse because I felt that if she really cared about me we’d be able to work around the tough scheduling, but she insisted that this was the sole reason for breaking up.

Well, I came to find out a few weeks later that she was back with an ex-boyfriend from four years ago who just moved back to the area. As devastated as I was, I still cared about Gabriela and after about a month of no communication we started hanging out again. Of course I had a lot of issues about what happened between us but she denied leaving me for this other guy and claimed she only started having feelings for him again after we broke up.

So the situation at hand is that Gabriela tells me she’s reconsidering what she thought she had with this guy, and that she still has feelings for me but isn’t ready to leave him yet since he was the one she was planning on marrying. She’s basically telling me that she wants me to be her backup guy if things don’t work out with this other guy. She gets really ticked off at me if I hook up with other girls, or even thinks that I’m trying.

Doc, how can I get Gabriela to finally cut this other dude loose and get back together with me? I’m running out of ideas and patience but I really do love this girl and am not ready to just give up yet.

Any tips you can give me would help. I faithfully read your articles, by the way.

Axel - who can’t figure out how to beat him

Hi Axel,

Let’s start with this question: does a woman with an Interest Level way up in the 90s really care what job you have and how hard you work? When you’re tied to a job, at least she’s pretty sure you’re seeing only her and that you love her.

The sad part here is not that Gabriela gave you some of the best Womanese I’ve ever heard in my life, but that you actually thought she was telling you the truth. Not only that, but like the great Doctor Freud said, “When she handed you all her malarkey you thought it had something to do with reality.” That’s why I know you haven’t memorized my material.

So, Gabriela’s back with her old boyfriend. The question is why. She’s probably just convalescing with this guy until she’s ready to make her next move. She went back to her old boyfriend because she was bored with you and because he’s back in town and they used to have a good time. After all, she needs a stepping-stone to the next guy. But it’s not going to last between them because you can’t go back.

You went from no communication whatsoever with Gabriela to hanging out with her? That was quite a leap you made, pal. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “In other words you called her up and begged her to go out and have doughnuts and coffee.”

Gabriela only picked up with this guy after you broke up, did she? Let me tell you, I haven’t heard Womanese this great since Angelina Jolie swore that she wasn’t interested in Jennifer Anniston’s husband until after they were separated. Wow, Axel. This girl is one of the best. It’s like you’re starving, and you’re in a river up to your waist and you’re trying to catch an 18-inch rainbow trout. Every time you get hold of it, it wiggles and jumps out of your hands, then you grab it again and go through the whole thing over and over. Until finally you lose it. That’s what this girl’s doing to you right now.

Now she’s “reconsidering” everything she had with this guy. You know what I like about this girl? She’s got all her bases covered, baby. Everybody’s happy with her explanations. In other words -- to you Psych majors -- she’s going to keep dating two turkeys and mislead both of them until turkey number three comes along. Why? Because the Bottom Line Factor says these guys are both has-beens. Sorry to say, Axel, you’re one of them. Sure, she wants you to be her backup guy. And since you’re a stooge, you agreed to this arrangement, right?

But you’re missing the key to the mystery here, Axel, and it’s sitting right under your nose! The mere thought of other women gets to this girl. How the heck did you miss it? Are you sure you’re reading my articles and not watching Oprah instead? Here’s what you do. Call Gabby and ask her for dating advice. Tell her about these two models you just met. The problem is that they’re constantly fighting over you. And you dig both of them, but their legs are too long and you don’t know what to do about the situation. So can she help you out?

The only way you can snare Gabriela once and for all is to be seen with lots of Beautiful Women hanging all over you. Good luck.

When you say you don’t want to give up on this girl, you imply there’s a chance, that there’s still hope for you. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Boy, you gotta lay off those 40-ounce jugs of beer!”

You might “faithfully” read my articles but you need to forget about that word and concentrate on the word MEMORIZE – as in MEMORIZE MY BOOK. You’ve made too many mistakes, dude. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This girl’s been working you like Picasso worked the canvas.”

Remember, guys: when it’s over, don’t entertain false hope.

© 2007, DocLove Dot Com 

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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.

DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a man’s perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question – one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and don’t ramble.

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