Does Robert Redfored ever Have to Convince a Girl to
Wait for Him?
I have been a fan of yours for a long time, and you have helped me tremendously with my current girlfriend, who Ive been going out with for seven months.
Sarah Jane happens to be beautiful, smart, funny, and, did I mention, gorgeous? Shes easily the best girl Ive ever had. We have a great time whether were playing volleyball or taking a cooking class. Plus, this girl always makes laugh. Even when shes dressed down in something like a sweat suit and sneakers she looks like a model. And to top it all off, shes just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Shes a Flexible Giver and not at all hardnosed or structured. I couldnt find a better catch if I tried for a hundred years.
Now heres my problem. In a few months I will be leaving on a church mission for two years. Theres no way out of this obligation for me, so I cant even think about it. I dont know the exact place where Ill be stationed, but it could very possibly be out of the country at a remote location. Needless to say, Im not looking forward to this entire situation.
While on this religious mission, I will be limited to letters, e-mails, and only a few phone calls a year. I dont want to lose Sarah Jane. Is there any way that I can keep this woman interested in me for the next two whole years? She has expressed an interest in waiting for me to return, but I know a woman with her looks and qualities wont last long without a man by her side.
Is there any hope for me, Doc? Can you give me any tips for keeping her? Thanks in advance and keep up the good work!
Joseph - who hates to leave her behind
Since Sarah Jane is both beautiful and gorgeous, I can tell you right off the bat that we have a lot of work ahead of us -- a LOT of work.
So lets take a look at your situation. Youre leaving the country on a church mission for two long, lonely years. Youre going to leave your girl behind and shes going to wait patiently for you and nobodys going to ask her out. The only problem you have is that she looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue. But shes going to be loyal to you for all the time youre gone. And youre going to try and hold her Interest Level while youre in Kenya digging a sewer and preaching the Good Book. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, I admire you for your faith, my son, but even God might not be able to help you with this one.
And you tell me youre not looking forward to your long exile? Why not? Maybe theyll send you somewhere like Bahrain now theres a nice place to live. Theyve got lots of oil over there. And the king is very, very rich.
The picture is clear, dude. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, You got real bad odds on this here race, boy. But Im on your side, so were going to come up with a plan to try and help you out.
Youre right about one thing: Sarah Jane wont last long without a man by her side. Because like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, Thats because theres going to be so many guys hitting on her. Theyll tell her I just want to be your friend. But they dont really want to be her friend. They want to be her boyfriend. And theyre going to want to knock you out of the box and you wont be in town to hold your position. Youll be organizing prayer meetings on the other side of the world.
Is there any hope for you? You know what the Reality Factor says, dont you? When youre 5,000 miles away for years at a time, her memory starts to weaken. So Ill say it again, pal your chances are not good.
This is what you have to do. You have to keep it light and funny right up until the day you leave for South Korea or Myanmar or wherever they send you. And then, when youre getting ready to board the plane, youll say to Sarah Jane, Heres my e-mail address. Keep in touch, baby. Forget the phone calls. If she wants to call you, she can call you. I dont want you phoning her. Then you just have to hope this girl can last and that shes so busy on her job she doesnt have time to go out and have a little fun with some other guy. Fat chance.
Your best chance of making this relationship last is to keep Sarah Janes Interest Level in the 90s up until the time you leave town. Then you two are going to exchange e-mails. Youre going to see how hard she tries to keep in contact with you. Youre going to have to hope that at the end of two years shes still writing and calling you and that nobodys taken her out and made her laugh. But like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, If I were you and I met a nice girl out in the wilderness, Id keep my options open.
Heres something else to think about, Joseph. When you got into this thing you knew you were going to have to go off on this mission. Before you asked this girl for her phone number and took her out on the first date, you should have said to yourself, I better be careful about falling for this stunner, because Im going to have to take a hike pretty soon for two years. And you should have realized the heartbreak you were flirting with, especially with a girl whos a ringer for Jessica Alba. Im not being negative here just honest and realistic. And Im trying to enlighten you, which is my job. To you Psych majors, in a sense this relationship was doomed from the beginning.
As you know if youve read my book, Im not a big fan of the long-distance relationship there are way too many obstacles to overcome. And if by some stroke of luck shes still around when you come back to America, youll be strangers to each other.
But I want you to do your best to beat the odds. Thats why Im here to coach you guys to have a fighting chance.
Remember, guys: when you dont live close by, its a lot harder to check up on her.
© 2007, DocLove Dot Com
I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello
Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a mans perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and dont ramble.
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