Did Thommy Lee ever Fall in Love with His
Ive been a follower of your work for over three years. Ive memorized The System and keep up with your weekly articles, and I even watch old Cary Grant movies. I cant tell you what a huge difference your words have made for me both with women and in everyday life. This stuff is golden, Doc.
I recently graduated from college and took a job in another city. I was asked by a female friend to live with her and another female friend, Rhia, who I only met a couple times before. Since I didnt know anyone in the city, I agreed. Rhia and I hit it off right away, and my use of your principles has kept her Interest Level rising for the past few months.
I reveal information about myself to Rhia in small doses. I try and steer the conversation to her mostly and to ask the right questions. She recently said, I feel like you know a lot about me and I know nothing about you. She regularly tries to ask me personal questions, but I stick to The System and reply with witty comments, playful jokes, or my best Cary Grant impression.
I realize that lots of couples live together, but usually after one or more years of dating. Your techniques say to take your time, but there was no way to see this coming when I agreed to live with these girls. I work full time and Rhia is a student, so were not together during weekdays. But we do see each other basically every evening. Rhia usually asks me to watch a movie, go for a run, or whatever. Shes even picked up some of my interests in order to spend more time with me.
Rhia and I have a lot of fun together, even when were doing unexciting things. After a few months, its just getting better between us. She regularly talks about the future and what we should do together. Shes also brought up the possibility of official dating. Weve kept our feelings about each other to ourselves and our other roommate doesnt know whats going on. Im doing my best to take it slow and stay a Challenge.
Doc, Rhias Interest Level is through the roof. However, there are lots of potential land mines in this situation. I dont want to give up on a good thing just because of our living arrangement, especially with her interest hovering around 90%. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
Franz - whos stuck in a very tricky situation
Thank you very much for the compliment about my work. What you point out is what a lot of men dont realize: The System is not just about asking Caprice for her home phone number. My techniques carry over into EVERY OTHER AREA OF YOUR LIFE. Youll see positive results not only in your personal life but in your business endeavors as well, and if you absorb my principles you will be a more confident man in general.
The fact that Rhia knows nothing about you and you know all about her is the way it should be, dude. It means that now you have the advantage. But of course you always have to remember that she holds the rejection card. But keep doing what youre doing, Franz, and youre going to be all right. At least for the time being youve got the upper hand. The trick is to keep it.
The witty comments, clever jokes and Cary Grant impressions are also wonderful. And theyre what youre going to still be doing after 45 years of marriage, pal. Because like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, What got her, keeps her.
Its likewise great that youre having all kinds of fun together. Always make sure that Rhia asks you to do stuff. Dont ask her to do anything. The point is to make sure that you keep this girl constantly chasing you. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, If shes constantly pursuing you, she cant be thinking of rejecting you.
The one thing you dont mention here, Franz, is how old this girl is. But you say that shes a student, which leads me to believe that shes within the dangerous age bracket 18 to 22. And you guys know, if youve read my materials, what I say about girls in that age range. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, If theyre not loons, they dont even know whats in their own minds. So watch your own Interest Level and keep it under control, buddy.
That said, picking up your interests is what a Flexible Giver does when she has high Interest Level in a man. The fact that you guys are having a great time even when youre doing unexciting things is extremely important. Know why? Because it means that it doesnt matter what youre doing with this girl for her to want to be with you. It means she has high Interest Level in you, not in how much money youre spending on her. You can be peeling potatoes or walking your dog and it wouldnt make any difference to her because shes interested in you for you. When you go out with a Mercenary, all shes concerned with is whether youre going to the best restaurant in town and whether shes going to be able to order the lobster francaise or the filet mignon.
Its fantastic that Rhia talks about the future. Because usually the opposite is true -- guys always want to talk about the future. Guys always want to yak about things, thinking that this is going to entice the woman to want to stay with him. What he doesnt realize is that this makes him a boring pushover.
Its so much better if she does the talking about the future because, again, shes the one holding the rejection card. And while shes talking about all the great activities you two should be doing in the future, the last thing on her mind is getting rid of you.
So what youre going to do here, Franz, is not officially date. Youre going to keep this thing with Rhia at status quo until shes going absolutely nuts. But keep in mind that you have another roommate you have to contend with. And like my Uncle Jethro Love says, Hopefully she aint no Blocker.
Franz, if Rhia is truly a keeper, you might want to think about moving out of that house. The point is just to test her. Watch her reaction when you tell her youre going to move. To you Psych majors, what youre really doing is checking to see whether she goes berserk at the thought of you being away from her. If she says, Oh, no -- please dont leave me, Franz, then you know youre in good shape.
Remember, guys: if youre a Challenge, shell never want to leave you.
© 2007, DocLove Dot Com
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
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