What does Kevin Spacey say about His Exes?
Im still learning The System and getting better at it with each girl. I just want to thank you for writing your book; it has helped me more than anything else Ive tried with women and dating.
But heres my problem. As hard as this is for me to admit, Im a 27-year-old guy whos never had a girlfriend!!! I can approach girls, get numbers, and even second dates thanks to your techniques, but thats as far as it goes. The thing that trips me up now is when Im dating a girl and she asks me, So, how many girlfriends have you had? And What happened to your last relationship? Why did you break up?
What am I supposed to say, Doc? I never had a girlfriend! I tried saying I dont think its proper for me to talk about other women on such a personal basis with you, but they keep insisting. Then I try deflecting the pressure by saying Theres no point in talking about the past.
By now the girl assumes Ive been dumped again and again, but she keeps asking over and over until she gives up. Unfortunately, I know the subject will come up again. I could lie and make up stories about past girlfriends, but it could come back to haunt me.
In your book you say that if this situation comes up I should just say my ex was an Inflexible Taker. But Id be lying since there is no ex. Should I just be honest and tell these women Ive never had a girlfriend?
Im in a catch-22 situation because if you dont have experience with girls then they hold it against you (and probably leave), but you cant get experience unless you get a girl in the first place.
I hope you can help me with this situation, Doc, I really need it.
Beck - whos trying to get on the scoreboard
Im sorry to hear that you havent snagged yourself a squeeze yet, but by your own admission youre getting better with the girls. This is important. Most people think that the road to success with females is a trek across the Mojave Desert. But the truth is that its a journey across the Sahara. Its a long, long distance you have to cross, guy.
And the more garbage I have to clean out of your little head because youve been brainwashed or hurt, the longer the trip is going to take. But since youve started learning my techniques, theres no need to despair. First youre going to acquire the knowledge, and with time youre going to get the action.
At this point youre only getting to the second date with girls because thats as far as youve gotten with my techniques. You have a certain portion of my book down up to the second date but as you memorize the Dating Dictionary, your expertise will expand. But, again, let me remind you of the upside -- at least youre getting to the second date. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, Hey, lots of guys cant even get the home phone number! Gee, Beck, youre a regular Don Juan in the making and you dont even know it!
Heres how you handle it when you get peppered with questions about your past by your dates. You respond like Owen Wilson or Jim Carrey would with a funny line. I can just hear you protesting, But Doc, theyre going to get mad! And my response is this: what kinds of girls will get mad? Well, Ill tell you what kinds of girls -- structured girls and girls with low Interest Level. See how The System protects you?
So when a babe asks how many girlfriends youve had, you just give her your best Al Pacino look and say Are you referring to the three stalkers who are bugging me, too?
And when she wants to know What happened in your last relationship, tell her in your best Humphrey Bogart voice, She didnt know how good she had it!
And when she demands to know Why did you break up, you come right back with I wont hang with a girl who doesnt love me!
To you Psych majors, youre not supposed to do or say anything unless it raises Interest Level. Do you think that telling a girl everything that did or didnt happen in the past 27 years would raise Interest Level? Think about it for two seconds.
Youre being way too intense when you say Its not proper for me to talk about the women in my past. What have I told you guys again and again? Keep it light, keep it funny, and no serious talk. When youre out on the first or second date, thats the time for fun and banter, and here youre defending yourself. Like my cousin General Love says, Youre a defensive lineman and youre getting pushed all over the field!
When she keeps insisting on getting information out of you, Beck, just shut up. Sit there and smile at her. Remember, you dont have to talk. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, She dont have no .45 to your head, dog!
But I have to hand it to you, Beck, Theres no point in talking about the past is a very macho thing to say. Seriously though, I dont think I ever heard John Wayne say it to a girl when he was alive. Well, maybe he said it once -- to his horse.
If a girl has to bug you until she gives up, Beck, make her give up sooner. And when the subject comes up yet again, like my Uncle Jethro Love says, Youll sit there and do the same thing until you get tough, boy!
You shouldnt be sitting there worrying about how a lie can come back to haunt you. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, Dude, you cant get past the second date! Arent you getting a little ahead of yourself?
For lots of guys its the truth that their exes were Inflexible Takers, but Im going to give you something funnier to tell these babes. When she wants to know what happened with your ex, just say Honey, I cant take these beautiful Victorias Secret models trying to smother me all the time!
But if you insist, Beck, go right ahead and tell your dates that youve never had a girlfriend that will really help your cause. Its raised the Interest Level of every girl whos ever heard it. Uh, right.
Youre not in a catch 22, buddy. You havent memorized my book yet thats your real problem. But again, remember that youre bettering yourself. Youre getting to the second date. But to go further to reach the finish line -- you have to memorize the Word.
Remember, guys: as long as youre improving yourself with The System, relax and enjoy the trip.
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" He is the author of the Master Series, available at www.doclove.com Archives for 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
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