|
An Affair of the Heart, Mind, and Soul
A romantic relationship is an emotionally intimate
bond between two people. Such a relationship is
best when it is with someone who knows you,
understands you, and accepts you. It is enhanced
through talking intimately about feelings,
thoughts, and needs.
Sometimes when the qualities of a romantic
relationship are not met, one or both partners seek
them outside the relationship in an affair. An
affair can be as exhilarating as it is destructive
to the relationship. When a person in a
relationship feels the temptation to have an
affair, it’s usually because the romance in
the relationship has stopped being important. Keep
this thought in the back of your mind as you search
for ways to inject more romance into your
relationship.
Make Your Relationship an Affair to Remember
When you think of an affair, what comes to mind?
Passion? Romance? Attachment to another person?
That’s exactly what an affair is; however, the
downside is that it is typically associated with a
limited duration, not to mention, causing a great
deal of pain to your primary partner. But, what if
you could extend an affair and make it an everyday
and lifelong occasion with your partner? You can do
it; it’s just a matter of decision.
The way to make this happen is to turn your
relationship into an affair. The first step to
doing this is to know just exactly what needs are
met by an affair: feeling desired, being loved,
feeling needed, sexual fulfillment, being
understood, close friendship, intellectual
stimulation, feeling complete, attachment, and
being listened to.
Look over these characteristics and ask yourself
which of these qualities you provide for your
partner. The ideal way to use this list is to sit
down with your partner and take turns putting this
list in order of which characteristics you feel the
strongest, down to those you feel the least.
When each of you has completed your list,
compare notes with your partner to see the order
you put the characteristics in. Pay special
attention to the last few items because they will
tellyou the areas that you need to work on with
your partner. The goal of this exercise is to
identify the areas that are holding you back from
having an affair with your partner.
You can do the same with your partner. Look at
the feeling that he put on the bottom of the
ranking list. Then ask him what he needs that would
help him get stronger sense of that feeling.
You’ll be surprised at how this simple
exercise will illuminate important feelings that
your partner has been experiencing. This exercise
many times reveals feelings that are new to both
partners. When you are able to strengthen your weak
areas, your relationship will be the love affair
you always wanted.
© 2008, ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Nancy Fagan is
the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find
Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and
television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS
News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She
has been featured in most major newspaper in the
United States and worldwide as well as regularly
mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as
Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health,
Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle,
Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of
others. To read more, visit www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com
This column is reprinted with permission from
E-Mail
Send questions to E-Mail
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
