Proof of Love

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We have been living together for 11 months. I am really more in love with him everyday, but being the insecure female I am, I would like to know how I can test if he loves me as much as he says he does? Could you help me with a few tips, signs, and so on?

A: Your growing love sounds more like increasing vulnerability and fear of losing him. As far as how much he loves you—his actions overwhelmingly demonstrate it—he’s been with you for five years and deepened his commitment to you by living together with you.

If you start to demand proof of his love, you will drive him right out of your life. When that happens, it will have nothing to do with his lack of love for you, but how little YOU love yourself.

The fact that you need to test his love has nothing to do with him, but with you. This is a BIG sign of insecurity within yourself, about yourself, how little you value yourself, and your lack of feelings of self-worth. Until you can love yourself, you will never be able to believe that someone loves you—regardless of what they do or say.

Start a plan of self-discovery and development. As you grow as a person, so will your self-esteem and self worth, followed by your belief that others love you as much as you need to be loved.

© 2007

Other Relationship Issues, Books

Nancy Fagan is the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle, Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others. To read more, visit This column is reprinted with permission from Send questions to E-Mail

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