|
Find His Faults
Many men and women find themselves falling into
patterns of getting involved with the
“wrong” kind of partner. This may prove
to be frustrating, resulting in a helpless feeling.
The question “Why?” is often asked.
“Why do I keep getting involved with the same
kind of men/women?” Well, let me tell you. It
is because you aren’t looking for early
warning signs that signal you to get away. It might
also mean that you are unaware of the warning signs
but rationalize their potential ramifications. Be
that as it may, you are attracted to that
“bad” trait or traits in men/women.
Consequently, those characteristics lead to
unhealthy relationships.
The only way to avoid repeating harmful patterns
is to be able to recognize the adverse signs early
on. The earlier you see the signs, the easier it is
to avoid getting hurt emotionally. Change is not
comfortable. If you want to have a healthy
relationship, you will have to learn to be
attracted to a different type of person. To do
this, you need to make slight changes. The easiest
is to redirect your first conversations with people
you find attractive. These conversations should
take on a purpose of screening for unwanted
traits.
When a woman, for instance, gets caught up in
conversation with an attractive man, it’s easy
to get lost in his voice, eyes, touch, and so on.
Before you know it, the conversation meanders
without a focus and you have no idea if he shares
similar bad traits as your ex. But, you don’t
have to let this happen.
You can set your goal to unveil the man’s
“crucial topics” (issues that broke your
previous relationship(s)). For instance, if your ex
was an alcoholic, keep an eye out for how much he
drinks and how important alcohol is in his life.
The key is to be casual and not make it sound like
you’re interrogating him. Keep in mind that he
will have no idea what you are thinking, only that
you are having light conversation.
I’m sure you have the idea: make a point of
finding the signs of the relationships that have
impacted your past relationships negatively.
Regardless of how attracted you are to a man,
don’t rationalize the red flags waving in
front of your eyes. Making excuses for these will
lend itself to the same results you had with the
last man—a bad relationship.
© 2010 ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Nancy Fagan is
the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find
Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and
television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS
News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She
has been featured in most major newspaper in the
United States and worldwide as well as regularly
mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as
Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health,
Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle,
Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of
others. To read more, visit www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com
This column is reprinted with permission from
NancyFagan@ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Send questions to E-Mail
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
