How Can I Keep His Interest?
Q: I left a 28-year marriage five months ago
and have already met a wonderful man. He's a
physician with two college-age sons. He's very
attentive and romantic, but I don't see him as much
as I'd like because he's so busy. I can't shake the
feeling that I'm doing all the wrong things. Maybe
it's leftovers from my marriage where I could do
nothing right. I'm desperate for approval and
always think I'm doing something wrong. I find
myself stuffing my feelings and saying ok when I
don't mean it. I feel that things are cooling off a
bit. How can I keep him interested?
A: There is no way to keep him interested
if you are not happy with yourself. After 28 years
of an emotionally draining marriage, the last thing
you need is a relationship with another man.
Instead, you have a lot of recovery to do and five
months is no time at all. Until you are emotionally
happy and your self-esteem is intact, you will only
continue to attract bad relationships. The
relationship you have with your doctor friend may
be cooling off because he is beginning to see what
you are trying to hid--emotional damage.
My suggestion is to get into therapy and work on
your issues. The only kind of a man who wants a
woman who holds back her feelings is an emotionally
damaged man. Until you learn how to voice your true
thoughts, you will not be able to have a healthy
relationship.
To help deal with your need for company, think
about joining groups, clubs, organization, etc.
Spending your time this way will help you to
develop your sense of self as well as female
friendships. Right now you need women friends, not
boyfriends.
© 2007 ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Nancy Fagan is
the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find
Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and
television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS
News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She
has been featured in most major newspaper in the
United States and worldwide as well as regularly
mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as
Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health,
Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle,
Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of
others. To read more, visit www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com
This column is reprinted with permission from
NancyFagan@ExpertDatingAdvice.com
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