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The Relationship "Wake Up Call" That Almost
Came Too Late...and how to make sure this doesn't
happen to you.
Since we started our Relationship Breakthrough work
with people like you almost 12 years ago...
One of the biggest questions people (sometimes
secretly and privately) are living with is the
question...
"Should I Stay or Should I Go? "
Even women and men who are in otherwise good
relationships have had this question of whether to
stay or go roll through their minds more than once.
We have.
We hope this doesn't offend you to hear us say
this but...
We think it's normal to explore this question.
In fact, we think some people are in
relationships or marriages who really should
honestly consider whether it's best for them to
stay together or not.
What we've found about relationships and
marriages is we have ALL had "wake-up calls" that
tell us we'd better do something to work on THIS
relationship or else it could be too late.
Very often...
We get in a groove when it comes to how we
relate to our partner and often, we don't change it
until it's too late.
Since Otto started his "Light Her Up" newsletter
for MEN, at http://www.LightHerUp.com -- he's been
hearing some truly honest, heartfelt and insightful
observations from both women and men about
relationships.
Otto's newsletter is just for men but there are
some women eavesdropping on the conversation going
on in his newsletter and...
Here's what one woman said in response to his
latest newsletter...
"It would be nice if more men and women would
step back and look at their situation outside of
the box."
We completely agree.
Too often we hear from both men and women that
they found out what they were doing wrong in their
relationship--but it was too late. Their partner
had moved on.
Up until it was too late, they never looked
"outside the box" of their relationship.
Looking back, they could "see" what had gone
wrong but they were helpless to do anything about
it at that point.
As the old saying goes, hindsight is
20/20--especially when it comes to your
relationships.
Take Sherry and Brian...
Like so many couples, they were so busy,
especially after they had kids, that when it came
to spending time together by themselves, it was the
last thing on their lists of "things to do."
It wasn't that they didn't love each other. They
did.
Life was just too crazy to fit in yet another
thing!
But in the process, they stopped really talking
and listening to one another beyond "Who's picking
up the kids?" or "Who's doing the grocery
shopping?"
They had created their "relationship box" to be
filled with distance, short conversations and the
occasional blow-up about finances.
Sherry couldn't understand Brian's lack of
concern about paying the bills on time and making
sure there was money in their account when they
did.
Brian couldn't understand what he called
Sherry's stinginess.
They didn't take the time or feel the urgency to
step out of their habitual ways of seeing their
situation to find a mutual solution--until it was
almost too late.
It wasn't until they almost lost their
relationship that they "woke" up, stepped back and
looked "outside the box" for how to work together
as a team and not as two people who were in
competition with one another and trying to prove
the other one wrong.
Sherry and Brian got their wake up call and did
something about it.
Whatever stage your relationship is in, start
stepping back, taking a bird's eye view of your
relationship and start thinking outside the
box.
Since we all are in relationships of some kind
or another, we urge you to do the same if you're
single.
Looking at your situation as an outsider can
open doors to finding solutions to difficulties
that you might be missing because you're too close
to it.
Something as simple as being curious as to why
your partner said or did something that triggered
you--instead of instantly blaming and belittling
him or her can make all the difference to the
health of your relationship.
Just the other day, a client told Susie the she
had stopped a jealousy attack by backing up, taking
a breath, and asking a question from curiosity
rather than picking a fight.
We invite you to think outside the box when it
comes to your relationships with your loved
ones.
- Consider curiosity instead of criticism.
- Consider an open heart instead an attack .
- Consider pointing the finger inward instead
of outward.
- Consider going on a "no-blame" diet.
- Consider treating each other how you would
treat a best friend (only better in certain
ways).
- Consider "flirting" with each other more of
the time.
- Consider spending a little more time
together.
Try any one of these things and you may really
be surprised by what you create in your
relationship or marriage if you do!
Our best,
©2010, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
Their new E-book Should You Stay or Should You
Go? has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2009,
2008,
2007,
2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
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