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The Relationship Trap You'll Want To Stay
Away From. (It's Not What You Think)
If you're like most people, you've probably gotten
caught up in this relationship trap at least once
in your life--especially if you're a woman...
You worry that you aren't pretty enough, thin
enough, or desirable enough to hold a man and keep
him interested over the long haul.
Well, if that idea hasn't been debunked many
times before, Tiger Woods has blown this myth
straight out of the water and here's why...
Otto was talking to his personal trainer
yesterday while he was working out and of course
the conversation got around to Tiger Woods and his
alleged affairs.
Monica, his personal trainer, said that the big
question her other clients had was why in the world
Tiger would ever cheat because his wife Erin was so
thin and beautiful.
Why would he go elsewhere when he had such
beauty at home?
Good question isn't it?
A lot of people (especially women) fall into the
trap of thinking that "If I were more attractive, a
better lover, a better whatever that I'd never have
anything to worry about when it comes to my
relationship and my man."
WRONG.
It simply isn't the case with Tiger and his
beautiful wife Elin.
He apparently went elsewhere because beauty
alone wasn't enough to hold him to faithfulness in
his marriage.
Now of course we don't know the inner workings
of his relationship with Elin and we won't claim to
know the real reasons (right or wrong) that drove
Tiger to cheat.
What we do know is that being beautiful and thin
doesn't insure faithfulness over the long haul.
We bring this up because so many women tell us
they're jealous and worry about someone more
beautiful or thin stealing their man away.
We know that keeping a relationship alive,
juicy, connected, loving and monogamous through the
years is so much more.
Recently, we got a copy of T.W. Jackson's book
for people who've just gone through a break up and
want to get back with their partner or
spouse...
The book is called, "The Magic of Making Up"
and we highly recommend it and we agreed with much
of what he was saying and...
We're paraphrasing here...
He said that men crave admiration and when they
feel they aren't getting it--perhaps like they used
to--they try to find it elsewhere.
He also said that women want to feel appreciated
and praised for who they are--and if they don't
find it in their relationship, they may look for it
in some other place.
Of course, these aren't the only reasons people
cheat or emotionally "drop out" of their
relationships, but they are important ones to pay
attention to if you want to keep yours vital, alive
and growing.
Much more important than beauty and the size of
one's body!
When you really get down to it, when you "check
out" of a relationship, in whatever way you choose
to do it, you aren't getting your needs met.
You may not choose to cheat, as Tiger has, but
there are other ways to check out of your
relationship...
**Allowing yourself to get so busy that there's
no time to connect with each other
**Allowing work to become the most important
thing in your life
**Shutting yourself down from emotional
connection
Even if you consider yourself soul mates when
you first got together, if you don't keep doing the
things that attracted you to each other in the
first place--and looking for new ways to love each
other--chances are your relationship will lose its
specialness over time.
If you quit admiring, appreciating and loving
each other for who you each are-- you leave the
relationship wide open for one or both of you to
seek it elsewhere.
This admiration and appreciation has to be
genuine even while it's mixed with expressing
healthy boundaries and speaking your truth as you
grow together.
For some, no amount of admiration and
appreciation will keep him (or her) faithful.
That may be true in Tiger's case.
But if you're feeling like your relationship
could use a little spicing up or you may think it's
in trouble...
Turn your attention toward your partner and look
at what you once admired and appreciated about each
other.
Start looking for instances when these traits
re-appear--and then let your partner know how you
feel.
You may not want to be the first to start the
appreciation/admiration ball rolling but if you do,
there may be a huge shift that happens that can
change your life forever.
All our best to you,
©2009, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
 Their
new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go?
has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
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