Domestic Violence

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The Menstuff® library lists pertinent books on Domestic Violence. Caution:  Many books written on domestic violence and many definitions of domestic violence demonstrate only one possible situation - male as perpetrator, female as victim. Be prepared to switch the words "her" for "him" and "him" for "her" and you will find some helpful information. See our section in issues on Violence - Domestic for more realistic help for male victims and female batterers and Resources. See also books on Abuse - Boys, Abuse - Children, Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Anger, Violence, Sexual Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Womens' Violence, and our Issues section on Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Womens' Violence and Prisons.

• AMA, Diagnostic & Treatment Guidelines on Mental Health Effects of Family Violence, 1995
• AMA, Diagnostic & Treatment Guidelines of Domestic Violence, 1994
• AMA, Domestic Violence: A directory of protocols for Health Care Providers, Children's Safety Network, 1993
• Family Violence & Religion: An interfaith resource guide, Volcano, 1995
• Beck, Aaron, Prisoners of Hate: The cognitive basis of anger, hostility and violence. This world-renowned psychiatrist and author has always been at the forefront of cognitive therapy research. His approach being the most rapidly growing psychotherapy today. Now, in his most important work to date, the Father of Cognitive Therapy presents a revolutionary look at destructive behavior - from domestic abuse to genocide to war - and provides a solid framework for remedying these crucial problems. In this book, the author: illustrates the specific psychological aberrations underlying anger, interpersonal hostility, ethnic conflict, genocide and war; clarifies why perpetrators of evil deeds are motivated by a belief that they are doing good; explains how the offenders are locked into distorted belief systems that control their behavior and shows how the same distortions in thinking occur in a rampaging mob as in an enraged spouse; provides a blueprint for correcting warped thinking and belief systems and, consequently, undercutting various forms of hostility; and discusses how the individual and society as a whole might use the tools of psychotherapy to block the psychological pathways to war, genocide, rape and murder. HarperCollins, 1999 ISBN 0-06-019377-8 Buy this book!
• Berry, Dawn Bradley, The Domestic Violence Sourcebook: Everything you ("women" - ed) need to know. This is a very informative book. However, be careful because it is filled with bias. It makes the assumption that battering, family violence and domestic abuse is only a male to female action so it does a great disservice to those women who are perpetrators and those men who are the victims of their violence and abuse. Physical violence was defined as "slapping, hitting, kicking, burning, punching, choking, shoving, beating, throwing things, locking out, restraining and other acts designed to injure, hurt, endanger or cause physical pain." Women do this to men all the time, on television, in high school, in homes, yet no one does anything about it. Emotional Abuse was defined as "consistently doing or sayings things to shame, insult, ridicule, embarrass, demean, belittle or mentally hurt another person. This may include calling a person names such as fat, lazy, stupid, ugly, failure; telling someone "she" can't do anything right, is worthless, is an unfit "mother", is undeserving, is unwanted. It also involves withholding money, affection or attention... manipulation... threatening to abandon; threatening to take children away...ridiculing "her" most valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class; insulting "her" family or friends." It even quotes EMERGE, a Boston counseling program for abusive men, who also can only see men as an abuser in ANY of these situations. Their definition of domestic violence is, "...any act that causes the victim to do something "she" does not want to do, prevents "her" from doing something "she" does want to do, or causes "her" to be afraid." As far as I can tell, there isn't one situation which describes a woman as the demeanor, humiliator, or one that makes a man feel uncomfortable, or insulted. For that, it is a very obsolete tomb. Under "Alternatives to Violence" resources, we show over 35 services that have active programs for "women perpetrators". Maybe they know something that the author and Lenore Walter don't know, or don't want you to know. Lowell House, 1996
• Brinegar, Jerry, Breaking Free from Domestic Violence, Hazelden CompCare, 1992
• Brothers, Barbara Jo, The Abuse of Men: Trauma begets trauma. This courageous book exposes a dark secret: Men are often victims of abuse. Although a great deal of attention has been paid to the victimization of women over the last 30 years, the role of men as victims - not just perpetrators - has been neglected. And, the fact is, when men are abused, everybody suffers. This book reveals the impact of physical, sexual and emotional trauma on the lives and relationships of men. This groundbreaking book shows how the negative effects of both basic training and combat may also cause lasting damage to men's self-esteem, ability to trust, personal boundaries, and ability to form healthy relationships. It explores the prevalence of other kinds of violence and abuse toward men and boys, from child-battering (of which women are the primary perpetrators) to spousal abuse. It discusses how the culture of violence and societal expectations of boys and men can help drive victims of abuse toward continuing the cycle of violence. It also offers specific suggestoins for therapists working with abused men and their partners, including an innovative step-by-step program for treating couples who have both been traumatized. By understanding how men and boys become victims and respond to trauma, you can help heal their pain and teach them to build positive, loving relationships. The Haworth Press, www.haworthpressinc.com 2001 ISBN 0-7890-1379-7 Buy This Book!
• Cassiday-Shaw, Aimme K., Family Abuse and the Bible: The scriptural perspective. This book offers new hope to conservative Christian women in abusive relationships. It shows that abuse is not the will of God and that submission to violence is actually giving in to demonic forces. The tools in this book can ultimately free Christian women from the horror of an abuse they may feel is ordained by God, while leaving them with an intact source of strength in their faith. The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2002, ISBN 0-7890-1577-3 Buy This Book!
• Cook, Philip, Abused Men: The hidden side of domestic violence. When most people think of domestic violence, images of battered women or abused children come to mind. But there is another side of this issue that is not as familiar - abused men. This unique book in the first to comprehensively examine this important but neglected social issue. The author directly challenges common assumptions about how men and women behave in society. Already praised by a diverse spectrum of readers-from "Dear Abby's" Abigail Van Buren, to the nation's leading domestic violence researcher, to those in law enforcement and counseling-this is sure to spark controversy and discussion. It offers gripping, emotional stories, self-help for victims, provocative insight into public issues, and presents a practical approach for reducing domestic violence. While statistics show that 1.8 million American women are severely assaulted by their mats each year, few people know that the same source indicates that 2 million men are also assaulted at home. After laying the groundwork for a serious reconsideration of how society views domestic violence, the author allows a number of abused men to tell their astonishing stories. He then puts these experiences in the context of what therapists and others who have worked with such men know about domestic violence and how the male victim is similar to, yet different from, his female counterpart. After examining the reasons why so little is known about male abuse and the difficulties researchers encounter, the author shows how the abused man, his friends and family, and the abusive or abused woman can come to grips with domestic violence. Drawing from a variety of sources, he brings these diverse elements together and proposes practical solutions for reducing domestic violence, whether its victims are male or female. Praeger Publishers 1997 ISBN  0-275-95862-0 Buy This Book!
• Corsi, Jorge, Daniel Jay Sonkin & Michael Durphy, Aprender a vivir sin violencia (Learning to Live Without Violence) Manual para hombres. Domestic violence has many faces within an intimate relationship, and many effects on both men and women. If you choose to prevent or end violence, this book provides you with tools and exercises that you can use on your own, or with counseling help. We know that men can and do change their behavior. If you are considerng such a chance, we encourage you to take the first step today. The path may not be easy, but in this book you will find the techniques that have helped many men to learn to live without violence. You aren't a natural "hothead". You learned that behavior and you can unlearn it. And, do it before you do anything more that you will regret the rest of your life. (English version) Volcano Press, www.volcanopress.com 1997 ISBN 1-884244-07-6 Buy This Book!
• Crawford, Christina, No Safe Place:  The legacy of family violence, Station Hill Press, 1994
• Creighton, Allan, Helping Teens Stop Violence:  A practical guide for counselors, educators & parents, Hunter House, 1992
•   Denfeld, Rene, Kill the Body, The Head will Fall:  A closer look at women, violence and aggression, Rene Denfeld. This is a society that condemns aggression in women...The result is that aggression is still viewed as "naturally" male. And female aggression is, by default, considered unnatural and uncommon. The reality is this:  women can be just as aggressive as men. Is it true that women are biologically programmed to be less aggressive, less prone to violence than men?  Is it the lack of training and physical opportunities that keep women from being as "tough" as men?  Are women by nature more gentle and law-abiding?  Well, the author provides answers drawing on her perspective as a female in the nearly all-male boxing world, and overturns our culture's assumptions about: anger...why women feel guilty and out of control when enraged, and how the denial of women's anger can have devastating consequences, especially for children. Competition...how women's healthy competitive urges are repressed, keeping them at a disadvantage. Sex...what connects sex and violence and shapes women's sexual desires. Power...how recognizing women's aggression can help bring about their equality. Insisting on facts and eschewing cultural bias, she asserts that women's violence and aggression are not held in check by biology. They are waiting to be encouraged and used to create strong, active women who are serious contenders - in the boxing ring and in life. Warner Books, http://pathfinder.com/twep 1997 Buy This Book!
• Deschner, Jeanne, How to End the Hitting Habit:  Anger control for battering couples, Free Press, 1984
• Dutton, Donald, Batterer: A psychological profile, Basic, 1995
• Enns, Greg & Jan Black, It's Not Okay Anymore:  Your personal guide to ending abuse, taking charge, and loving yourself, Greg Enns & Jan Black. (This book does a pretty good job of staying balanced and seldom makes a reference that points to either sex as an abuser or victim, though they slip-up from time to time. - Ed.) This practical and empowering guide offers a step-by-step path out of abuse and into life management and self-care. Written with sensitivity and respect, it contains checkpoints and action steps, survivors' stories, success tips, "Get Safe" plans and goals, and the gentle support of a nurturing personal coach. New Harbinger 1997
• Ewing, Wayne, Battering: An amend manual for helpers, Amend, 1994
• Gelles, Richard, Intimate Violence: The definitive study of the causes & consequences of abuse in the American family, Simon & Schuster, 1988
• Gillespie, Cynthia, Justifiable Homicide:  Battered women, self-defense & the law. The author offers a compelling view about women who respond violently to abuse and about the criminal justice system, which follows such acts with its own form of abuse...Her thesis, that the law of self-defense is a law for men and therefore constitutes sex discrimination, is cleraly, coherently and substantively articulated. This is an imporant, intelligent and challenging contribution in the area of women's studies, women's rights, and the criminal justice system with respect to the law of self-defense. Ohio State Univ Press, 1989 ISBN 0-8142-0521-6
• Gondolf, Edward, Man Against Women: What every women should know about violent men, TAB, 1989
• Gondolf, Edward, Man to Man: A guide for men in abusive relationships, Human Services Institute, 1987
• Gordon, Linda, Heroes of Their Own Lives: The politics & history of family violence, Viking, 1988
• Horsfall, Jan, Presence of the Past:  Male violence in the family, Allen & Unwin, 1991
• Johnson, Michael P., A Typology of Domestic Violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. In this path-breaking reassessment of thirty years of domestic violence research, the author argues that domestic violence is not a unitary phenomenon. Instead, he delineates three major, dramatically different forms of domestic violence - intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence - and shows that the failure to distinguish among these types of partner violence has produced a research literature that is plagued by both over generalizations and ostensibly contradictory findings. By creating the theoretical framework to differentiate among types of partner violence, this volume represents the crucial first step to a better understanding of domestic violence among scholars, social scientists, policy makers, and service providers. Northeastern University Press, www.upne.com, 2008, ISBN 978-1-55553-694-7
• Jukes, Adam, Why Men Hate Women: A book written for men that every woman should read. What makes a man like John, in every respect a cultured and charming man, successful in his career and liked by his friends and acquaintances, behave violently towards a woman he says he loves?  Is he sick? Is he different from other men? Is it, as he says, Jen's fault? Doews she like being beaten? Otherwise why would she go on doing what she knows upsets him?  The author hopes that by the end of his demanding but gripping book, the reader will be able to answer these questions. He works with men who are abusive and violent to women. In the last five years, he has been involved in the London Men's Centre, which offers dedicated programmes to men who are violent. He began working with abusive men as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, but as his work continued he found that the work of feminists in the refuge movement and in the "speaking bitterness" literature could not be ignored. He integrates these two perspectives in his work. The way in which he presents men in this book will generate distress for those men who experience their masculinity as a burden - for he argues that misogyny, the hatred of women, is an inescapable element in the development of masculinity. But he also shows how the model of misogyny which informs the book is applied to an intervenion programme to stop male abusiveness. This is a shocking book. Its thought-provoking view of the issues will be of great interest to mental health professionals and all concerned readers. Free Assocaition Books, 1993 ISBN 1-85343-195-8 Buy This Book!
• Kilgore, Nancy, Every Eighteen Seconds:  A journey through domestic violence, Volcano, 1993
• Kilgore, Nancy, Sourcebook for Working with Battered Women: A comprehensive manual for counselors, social workers & support group leaders, Volcano, 1993
• Kivel, Paul, Anger, Power, Violence & Drugs:  Breaking the connection, taking a stand against violence, the men's work workbook # 2, Hazelden, 1993
• Kivel, Paul, Becoming Whole:  Learning new roles making new choices. Taking a stand against violence. Men's Work Workbook # 3, Hazelden, 1993
• Kivel, Paul, Men's Work:  How to stop the violence that tears our lives apart. In this groundbreaking work, the author gets to the very heart of the (men's) violent behavior that wracks our society. A nationally known expert on men's issues, Kivel shows men - and women - how to confront the harsh realities behind (men's) aggression and how to respond in new, productive ways to the political, social and personal forces that can lead to (men's) misogny, hatred, anger and violence. This book offers practical advice that will help men (perpetrators not victims) reclaim the power and responsibility needed to unlearn the lessons of control and aggression. Hazelden, www.hazelden.org 1992 ISBN 1-56838-233-2 Buy This Book!
• Kivel, Paul, Men's Work Facilitator's Guide:  A complete counseling plan for breaking the cycle of male violence, Harper/Hazelden, 1993
• Lee, Patricia, Legal Rights of Battered Women in California, State Bar of California, 1980
• Lobel, Kerry, Naming the Violence: Speaking out about lesbian battering, Seal, 1986
• Manalive, I Stop My Physical Violence to my Partner:  Individual advocacy 1st stage class, Manalive, 1990
• Martin, Del, Battered Wives, Glide, 1986
• Ni Carthy, Ginny, Getting Free: You can end abuse & take back your life, Seal, 1986
• Ni Cathy, Ginny, Ones Who Got Away:  Women who left abusive partners, Seal, 1987
• Ni Cathy, Ginny, You Can Be Free:  An easy-to-read handbook for abused women, Seal, 1987
• Okun, Lewis, Woman Abuse:  Facts replacing myths, New York Press, 1986
• Paymar, Michael, Violent No More:  Helping men end domestic abuse, Hunter House, 1993
• Pearson, Patricia, When she Was Bad:  How and why women get away with murder. In this groundbreaking book, (the paperback version of "When She Was Bad: Violent women and the myth of innocence,) the author examines a subject that is often deliberately ignored, particularly by the feminist front: the issue of women's violence and aggression. Not merely as a response to an abusive husband, society, culture or parent, but on their own, requiring no more provocation that their male counterparts. Guiding us gently through the rough waters of women's anger, the book starts off with an examination of violence in girls and ends with an overview of the social structure of women's prisons. The author demands that women hold themselves accountable for their own actions; she makes women see women as fully equal to male murderers and rapists; as cold-blooded as anyone who would perform multiple murders for profit. The sexist court system likes to ascribe women's acts of violence to being coerced, seduced, cornered. It sees women as victims or "survivors" that new catch phrase of the therapy-and-twelves-step generation). Sometimes this is true - but often it is not. Frequently women discover violence as an answer all on their own, the way men do, because of the way our culture is set up, the way our brains are wired, or the lessons women learned at our parents' knees. The stories presented here are graphic and disturbing, and a far cry from the women's-violence-is-sexy voyeurism of cat fights and mud wrestling. We meet female sex offenders, women who kill their own children, and women with Munchausen syndrome who caused their children repetitive illnesses and sometimes death. Pearson helps to open the doors and allows women the space to examine a side of themselves no one wants to acknowledge, but that, if left unobserved will, like a cancer, continue to spread. (Click here and look for centers coded 89 - resources for women perpetrators.) Penguin USA Paperback, 1998 Buy This Book!
• Porterfield, Kay Marie, What's a Nice Girl Like You doing in a Relationship Like This:  Women in abusive relationships, Crossing Press, 1992
• Richmond, Steven S., Terms of Enforcement: Making men pay for what they've done. America's campaign against facts and evidence in the name of justice. As a psychotherapist and policy expert in domestic violence, the author never expected to find himself on the "wrong side" of the domestic abuse law. But, neither did he expect his wife of thirty years to put that law to malicious use in the course of their divorce, and then to find he had no legal remedy to answer her false abuse accusations. Nevertheless, after violating a restraining order, he faced experiences that gave him unique insights into the problems of domestic abuse laws, as well as motivation to report these discoveries to the reading public. In addition to giving falsely accused men the hope that their experiences might one day be validated, it is also the author's hope that this book will be a voice the national converation about domestic violence prevention and intervention. It is important that reforms be sensible and that they protect both the abused and the falsely accused. Trafford Publishing, www.trafford.com, 2002, ISBN 155369183-0 Buy This Book!
• Rockett-Box, Tammy and Mary Jane Rockett, Tragic Love. A suspenseful and electribying story of a young man who engages in a forbidden love affair. From the beginning, the relationship is tumultuous and eventually the young man's life comes to a tragic ending. Evidence is overlooked and questions go unanswered as police investigators rule the death a suicide. However, the truth is right in front of their eyes, and it takes a tenacious mother and daughter to determine what really happened in the conclusion of the tragic love. Publish America, www.publishamerica.com ISBN 978-1-61582-293-5
• Salber, Patricia, The Physicians Guide to Domestic Violence:  How to ask the right questions & recognize abuse, another way to save a life, Volcano, 1995
• Schechter, Susan, Women & Male Violence:  The visions & struggles of the battered women's movement, South End, 1982
• Sonkin, Daniel Jay & Michael Durphy, Learning to Live Without Violence: A handbook for men. Domestic violence has many faces within an intimate relationship, and many effects on both men and women. If you choose to prevent or end violence, this book provides you with tools and exercises that you can use on your own, or with counseling help. We know that men can and do change their behavior. If you are considerng such a chance, we encourage you to take the first step today. The path may not be easy, but in this book you will find the techniques that have helped many men to learn to live without violence. You aren't a natural "hothead". You learned that behavior and you can unlearn it. And, do it before you do anything more that you will regret the rest of your life. (Spanish version) Volcano Press, www.volcanopress.com 1989 ISBN 0-912078-84-7 Buy This Book!
• Steinmetz, Suzanne, Behind Closed Doors:  Violence in the American family, Anchor, 1980
• Steinmetz, Suzanne, Violence in the Family, Harper & Row, 1974
• Strean, Herbert, Our Wish to Kill:  The murder in all our hearts, St. Martins, 1991
• Thorne-Finch, Ron, Ending the Silence:  The origins & treatment of male violence against women, Univ of Toronto, 1992
• Walker, Lenore, The Battered Woman, Harper Colophon, 1979
• Woodard, Cheryl Anne, Domestic Violence and Abuse:  How to stop it!  California edition. No more abuse!  Learn the signs of escalating abuse...and steps you can take to get abuse out of your life. Are you being bothered? or threatened? or beaten? Find out what you can do to stop it!  A complete kit includes the forms and instructions you need to get a restraining order. Practical step-by-step advice that will help you put an end to harassment, abuse and violence. (Editors Note:  Know that this book is HEAVILY bias against men (assuming they are the abusers) and creating the world of women and children as the only victims. If you can replace the word her with him, and him with her in almost every paragraph, some of the information can be helpful. Hopefully, what is viewed as political incorrectness of helping 1/3 of batterers who are women and 1/2 of victums who are men is still strongly discouraged. When more balanced information is available to more accurately depict domestic violence as it is in 1999, we will put it at the top of the list. See our section - domestic violence - for more up-to-date information for male victims and female batterers.) Nolo Press, 1996
• Yllo, Kersti, Feminist Perspectives of Wife Abuse, Sage, 1988