Domestic Violence
Safety Plan 
Menstuff® has compiled the following information on a Safety
Plan for men who are in relatoinship with a violent woman.
Real
Time Death Toll as of
What is a Safety Plan?
The Workplace Safety Plan
The Personal Safety Plan
Obtain a restraining
order
Who you can call in a crisis
Related Issues: Talking With Kids
About Tough Issues, Abuse -
Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision,
Violence, Domestic
Violence, TV Violence,
Sexual Harassment, Gangs,
Prisons, Women's
Violence, If Women Rule
the Country
Related Books - Abuse
- Boys, Abuse -
Children, Abuse -
Ritual, Abuse -
Sexual, Circumcision,
Anger,
Violence,
Domestic
Violence, Sexual
Violence, Gangs,
Sexual
Harassment, and Women's
Violence.
Journals
& Periodicals - on Child, Elder, Emotional,
Religious, and Sexual Abuse and Trauma
Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs
Resources
- includes some programs for female perpetrators
What is a Safety Plan?
If you are in a violent relationship, one of the most important steps
you can take is to make a safety plan both for home and the
workplace. These plans contain simple but critical steps you can take
to increase your safety while you deal with the violence you face in
your personal life.
The Workplace Safety Plan
At work, you may want to:
- Save any threatening emails or voicemail messages. You can use
these to take legal action in the future, if you choose to. If you
already have a restraining order, the messages can serve as
evidence in court that the order was violated.
- Park close to the entrance of your building, and talk with
security, the police, or a manager if you fear an assault at
work.
- Have your calls screened, transfer harassing calls to
security, or remove your name and number from automated phone
directories.
- Relocate your workspace to a more secure area.
- Obtain a restraining order and make sure that it is current
and on hand at all times. Include the workplace on the order. A
copy should be provided to the police, the employee's supervisor,
Human Resources, the reception area, the Legal department, and
Security.
- Provide a picture of the perpetrator to reception areas and/or
Security.
- Identify an emergency contact person should the employer be
unable to contact you.
- Ask Security to escort you to and from your car or public
transportation.
- Look into alternate hours or work locations.
- Review the safety of your childcare arrangements, whether it
is on-site childcare at the company or off-site elsewhere. If you
have a restraining order, it can usually be extended to the
childcare center.
The Personal Safety Plan
In case you have to flee, have the following available:
- Important papers such as birth certificates, social security
cards, insurance information, school and health records, welfare
and immigration documents, and divorce or other court
documents
- Credit cards, bank account number, and ATM cards.
- Some money
- An extra set of keys
- Medications and prescriptions
- Phone numbers and addresses for family, friends, doctors,
lawyers, and community agencies.
- Clothing and comfort items for you and the children.
If you had the perpetrator evicted or are living alone, you may
want to:
- Change locks on doors and windows.
- Install a better security system -- window bars, locks, better
lighting, smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.
- Teach the children to call the police or family and friends if
they are snatched.
- Talk to schools and childcare providers about who has
permission to pick up the children.
- Find a lawyer knowledgeable about family violence to explore
custody, visitation and divorce provisions that protect you and
your children.
Obtain a restraining order
If you are leaving your abuser, ask yourself the following
questions:
- How and when can you most safely leave? Where will you
go?
- Are you comfortable calling the police if you need them?
- Who can you trust to tell that you are leaving?
- How will you travel safely to and from work or school or to
pick up children?
- What community and legal resources will help you feel safer?
Write down their addresses and phone numbers, and keep them
handy.
- What custody and visitation provisions will keep you and your
children safe?
- Is a restraining order a viable option?
If you are staying with your batterer, think about:
- What works best to keep you safe in an emergency.
Who you can call in a crisis
If you would call the police if the violence starts again. Can you
work out a signal with the children or the neighbors to call the
police when you need help? Remember, however, that most police
departments still assume that if there is violence in the hoome it is
the man who is the perpetrator. However, especially if children are
involved, if you don't report the violence, and the police get
involved, you may get jail time, and longer than your spouse, for not
protecting the children.
If you need to flee temporarily, where would you go? Think though
several places where you can go in a crisis. Write down the addresses
and phone numbers, and keep them with you.
If you need to flee your home, know the escape routes in
advance.
If you are in a violent relationship and need help, call
1-800-799-SAFE. Again, this is primarily for women. However, they may
have an option in your community so give it a try.
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