Sexuality Newsbytes

Menstuff® has compiled newsbytes on the issue of sexuality. And, for more on Sexual Health, check out the Sexual Health Library


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Minor Details
Get It On
Sex Talk
Sex Health
Joe Kort

Comprehensive List of LGBATQQI + Term Definitions
Related Issues:
Talking With Kids About Tough Issues; Family Planning; Reproduction
Journals - on Sexual Abuse and Trauma
Periodicals -Gay/Bi
Books and also related topics of Gay/bi, and Transgender.

How often do you and your partner have sex?
Poll Results from WebMD on 12/30/08

Twice a week or more


About once a week


Twice a month or less


Enjoy the pleasurable perks of a down economy

A limp economy may have the opposite effect in the bedroom.

The makers of LifeStyles Condoms report that condom sales have gone up since the recession began. It makes sense to us: When you’re out of work and your bank account’s dwindling, how else are your going to spend your free time? Plus, a little bear market bonking boosts dopamine levels in your brain , which may make the economic outlook seem a little less dim.

If you do end up having recession sex, it’s worth shelling out a few bucks to keep your goods wrapped up. Otherwise you may end up with one of the six most common STDs or a bundle of joy that will continue to drain your bank account long after the recession is over.

Is financial stress affecting your performance in the sack? Take control with these nine tips to make sure your wood stacks up and 10 ways to last longer in bed .

If you’re out of work, or just have the day off, here are a few other ways to pass your free time: our Sex and Privates Trivia quiz , Best Foods for Men match game, and the latest workout downloads

That is, if you decide to take a break from getting it on.

Women Want More Sex, Less Foreplay

Study says the length of sex matters more than the warmup for her pleasure

Most nights you'd rather skip foreplay and start up the real action immediately. It's OK to admit—we won't tell her.

Well, rejoice guys: A new survey of 2,360 Czech women found that foreplay isn't all that important when it comes to her enjoyment of sex and likelihood of orgasm. What does matter: Length. Not that length, but the length of time intercourse lasts.

The researchers conclude that, "more attention should be given to improve the quality and duration of intercourse rather than foreplay."

While that's good advice, our own surveys repeatedly find that women want more foreplay, not less. Not surprising—giving her time to warm up helps her forget the stress of the day, increases her chances of climaxing, and makes her wet. Plus, treat her well, and she'll return the favor.Your best bet: Ask her what she likes and discuss your fantasies together. You could be making mistakes without realizing it. But don't back down from your desire for more quickies—as long as you promise to balance them with long nights of intimate love making, she'll likely agree.

And if that doesn't work, move to the Czech Republic.

Ask the Therapist: Am I a Middle-Aged Sex Addict?

I'm a 39-year-old man who thinks about sex all day and this a problem?

Sexually Dysfunctional Women

When it comes to sexual problems, most people choose to suffer silently rather than risk embarrassment by talking about them. However, these issues are more common than one might think. The Journal of the American Medical Association found that 43 percent of women have some type of sexual dysfunction.

Sexual Problems in Men

A sexual problem, or sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the individual or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the sexual activity. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor. Learn more.

Orgasms Without Trying

You've heard about guys and their dreams. But did you know that women also experience a state of arousal during sleep?

Which Sex Enjoys Lovemaking More?

A new study says one sex is having most of the fun in the boudoir. Find out who is getting the lion's share of the satisfaction and see what could be the reason.

It Sends Bad Breath Packing!

Don't let chronic halitosis come between you and great sex. See which technique may work best at keeping bad breath in check.

What to do When Sex Hurts

Some women experience pain instead of pleasure when they have sex. What causes this problem and how can it be fixed? Find out.

How Much Do You Really Know About STD Symptoms?

Would you know if you had syphilis, genital warts, or if you'd been exposed to HIV? Test your STD smarts and get the facts.

Animal swingers play the mating game

When it comes to mating, wild animals make their own rules. From lionesses of East Africa that mate with many males before ovulating and committing their eggs, to male walruses that joust for several female partners, the animal kingdom is full of swingers.

In some human societies, sexual behavior akin to these animals would be shunned. Do these animals just not care what "society" thinks about their promiscuous behavior? Even the most domestic of animals, dogs, don't bat an eye before sniffing a fellow canine's butt or humping an owner's leg.

"Just about every animal is quite promiscuous," said Diana Fisher, a behavioral ecologist at the Australian National University.

Though such free animal love might appear lighthearted, survival and passing on genes are serious business in the animal world.

Animal "personal ads" would reveal a conflict between males and females. Males want to mate with as many females as possible with the goal of fertilizing the most eggs. Females are a little more selective, preferring to hook up with the best males to fertilize their eggs.

One end result is polygyny — the most common mating strategy in the animal kingdom — in which males compete for access to a harem of breeding females. Sexual selection tends to favor adaptations that enhance reproductive success, including a large body size to boost success in pre-mating combat between males, and high sperm counts to up the chances of successful fertilization.

Rather than investing limited resources in inflating their bodies, females typically have a more conservative growth strategy and allocate more into the production and provisioning of offspring. By waiting on the sidelines during male-male jousting, the female can mate with the strongest male.

"Males fight it out and the best fighters get large harems of females," Tim Clutton-Brock, an animal ecologist at the University of Cambridge, told LiveScience. "If you just take the winner, you've got the best male. You don't need to sit back and choose carefully between males."

Human males must decide how much energy to put into weightlifting, for instance, to woo women, and how much they should focus on a career, which would benefit a family.

For polygynous horned beetles, the same trade-off exists between allocating resources to developing mate-winning weaponry in the form of horns and having more sperm to increase fertilization. In one study, when researchers cut off the beetles' horns, the pupa reacted by developing larger testes, supporting a theory known as resource allocation trade-off.

Females in charge

For females, the drawbacks of sex with lots of partners include an increased probability of inbreeding, higher chances of predation, more risk of catching disease and physical injury or exhaustion from the frequent sex.

Even so, in some species, females "wear the pants." Called polyandry, by mating with multiple males, a mom can produce healthier offspring, and in some species, ensure devotion and help in child-raising by many fathers.

In a study of a mouselike marsupial, scientists found that by sleeping around, females had a better chance of finding males with good-quality sperm and high sperm counts. "So that means that females that mate with lots of males get more of their offspring sired by the good-quality males that increase the baby survival," Fisher said, referring to the mouselike marsupials.

In a lab study, researchers found that female guppies mating with four different males gave birth to 73 percent more young than their monogamous sisters. Plus, the young were more skilled at swimming in tandem with another fish and jetting out of trouble.

But strict polyandry, where one female guards a group of male mates, is rare. "The benefit for the female is quite clear, because if you have four husbands and you lay them each a clutch of eggs and they sit on it, you're doing much better than if you have one husband and you lay one clutch of eggs," Clutton-Brock said. "What's harder to explain is what the benefit to the male is."

Deciding factors

As with humans, animal mating often relies on a careful dance in which males and females develop ways of getting what they want without going too far and ending up empty handed.

The female Australian hanging fly will allow males that provide larger nuptial gifts to copulate longer, and in turn transfer more sperm, skewing paternity. Males providing insufficient gifts get flung off by the female before insemination is complete.

A study of 14 water-strider species found that species in which males had flat stomachs and powerful forelimbs for clutching lovers mated more frequently than species where females were in charge — those with spines protruding from their back ends. When the females had the upper hand, mating occurred about twice a day compared with 20 times a day in the male-dominating species.

Find out how 10 animals have developed polygamous behaviors, many of which will cause a blush or two, in this LiveScience special: Top 10 Swingers of the Animal Kingdom.


Do penis rings really work?

From what I understand, they constrict and squeeze at the base of the penis, holding blood in for a longer erection. They also cause serious and permanent damage to the delicate tissues- damage that can cause permenent erection problems, scarring and urethral scarring that can cause problems that need frequent surgeries or passing a catheter up the urethra just to keep the scar from closing off. The rings are best avoided.

Straight Woman, Straight Answer

Dr. Goldstone has some helpful hints for a straight woman who likes anal sex.

High Blood Pressure and Your Sex Life

Are you having problems in the bedroom? Find out if high blood pressure might be to blame.

Less Weight = Better Sex

How much do you know about the sex/diet connection? Well, slimming down could spice things up in the bedroom. Learn how to maximize those special moments with someone you love.

E-Mail Used To Alert Of STD Exposure

Fighting fire with fire, public health officials are using e-mail to try to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases among people who meet through Internet chat rooms and Web sites.

Eat, Exercise, and Relax Your Way to Better Sex

Need an excuse to eat healthier and exercise more? How about a better sex life?

Erectile Trouble May Signal Heart Disease

Studies suggest men with ED get checked for vascular problems

Fertile February Love, Sex, and Making Babies

In honor of this month of hearts and flowers, we bring you a quiz that's a little out of the ordinary. Answer this: Do you know the 10 steps to great sex? See if you can guess -- or learn!

Sperm-Saving Has Little Value

Little good is gained when couples abstain from sex.

Can Songs with the Word "Sex" in Them be Played on Radio

'N SYNC's JC CHASEZ says radio stations are shunning his new single "All Day Long I Dream About Sex" because they are "terrified" of FCC repercussions. Twelve commercial stations dropped the song last week, leaving only fourteen that are playing it. "It's getting out of hand if you can't even talk about sex," Chasez told Rolling Stone. "I mean, Marvin Gaye's 'Sexual Healing' is considered a classic. In my song there are no four-letter words and I don't talk about hurting anyone." Editor's Note:  Sounds like we've regressed to the time, a few years ago, when Congress outlawed USA based web sites from having the word "breast" on their web sites.
Source: Rolling Stone e-mail, 5/24/04

Russian Abortion Rate Declines

All too often, by the time a patient reached Patimat Abakarova's clinic it was too late: She was pregnant and seeking an urgent way out. Nowadays the women come seeking advice on how not to get pregnant.

Doctors: Pedophile "Cured" After Surgery

There was something wrong with the schoolteacher with the headache -- doctors could see that from the start. Though charming and intelligent, the 40-year-old man couldn't stop leering at female nurses. He had been in trouble with the law for sexual advances toward his stepdaughter, and now he was talking about raping his landlady.

She Can't Get Pregnant If...

Sex Mythinterpreted answers you questions and dispells myths that could get you in trouble. Here's five sure ways to become a dad or a mom.

"She can't get pregnant if I don't ejaculate inside her."
"She can't get pregnant if we have sex standing up."
"She can't get pregnant having sex in water."
"She won't get pregnant if she drink ice water."
“The rhythm method works.”

All About Female Sexual Problems

The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Ladies, if you're having trouble with any of these phases, it's time to figure out what's going on and get some help. You shouldn't be missing out on the fun!

Sexual Problems in Men

While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

The New Playboy Centerfold

The figures of Playboy centerfolds have changed considerably since the 1950s, according to a recent review. So, what does sexy look like now? And why the shape-shifting? Read on for the naked truth.

What's Going on With Your Protection?

Condoms are supposed to stop STDs and prevent pregnancy, but according to a recent study, these safer-sex tools don't always do their job ---- and for a very good reason. Nearly half of condom users do it wrong. This may be your most important bedtime reading of the year!Especially if you're not ready to have children or to get an STD.

Increase Your Penis Size?

Exercise for your penis? You bet! A "willy workout" program called jelqing is the hot topic in online men's groups devoted to penis enlargement. On the one hand, a lot of guys swear by this ancient Arab technique -- but on the other hand are those who not only question its effectiveness but also its safety. Decide for yourself: Here's the basic routine -- and the pros and cons of following it.

Understanding Family Planning

Family planning is sometimes used interchangeably with birth control or contraception, but there is much more to family planning than avoiding or timing a pregnancy.

More: Family Planning


Important Points To Consider When Choosing Birth Control

Choosing birth control involves more than examining methods. There are a number of lifestyle factors that need to be considered as well.

British Teachers Must Provide Better Sex Education, Government Inspectors Say

Teachers must do more to counter a false message given by popular teen magazines that all teen-agers are sexually active, government inspectors said.

Twins Said More Identical Than Clones

Identical twins are strikingly similar in many ways, but research shows that even they aren't completely alike. And scientists who study how genes shape us say that's an important lesson for trying to predict how much a human clone will resemble its progenitor.

Sexual Response Cycle

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physical and emotional changes that occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. Knowing how your body responds during each phase of the cycle can enhance your relationship and help you pinpoint the cause of any sexual problems.

Blueprint For Life: Never Mind Human Cloning, "Designer Baby" Technology Could Be The Next Big Thing

Had enough human cloning nonsense? If you want something genuine to fret about, experts suggest considering what already is occurring at the local in vitro fertilization clinic.

Snow on the Roof Doesn't Douse Fire Below

People are sexually active through old age, but problems are widespread

Sexual activity and mens' health

A study published in the British Medical Journal revealed a relationship between orgasmic frequency in men and mortality. Men who have frequent orgasms live longer.

918 men, aged 45 to 59 at the start of the study were followed. Researchers found that the risk of death in men with high orgasmic frequency (defined as twice a week or more) was 50 percent lower than in men with a low orgasmic frequency (less than once a month.) Authors conclude that sexual activity seems to have a protective effect on men's health. This study's findings are consistent with most other studies to date.

Source: Deb Donovan, British Medical Journal,,,258712_111800,00.html  

Teen Dies After Taking Abortion Pill

An 18-year-old who had concealed her pregnancy died of complications after she took a RU-486, one week after she began taking the abortion pill.

U.S. lags on sex laws

As the Heidi Fleiss "case" demonstrates, America is hooked on the glitter and punishment of prostitution.
Source: Tracy Quan,

Brothel debuts on Aussie stock market

"Investors embraced shares in the sex industry group The Daily Planet Ltd today, with the brothel more than doubling its value on its stock market debut."

Alabama legislature votes against legalizing sex toys

"The Alabama House voted against a bill Tuesday that would have removed a ban on sexual devices, such as vibrators, from the state's obscenity law" despite two rulings that the law is unconstitutional.

Condoms Not Popular Among Unmarried U.S. Adults

Despite efforts to encourage condom use as an HIV/AIDS prevention method, the number of American adults using condoms has remained unchanged since 1996.
Source: American Journal of Public Health,

Participate in a Sex Survey

The homepage is There's a survey at

The Sweet Smell of Sweat

Odorless chemicals in male sweat can have a dramatic effect on a woman's mind and body, say researchers! So should you be finding ways to make your guy hot -- or ways to keep him cool and dry?

Sponge Contraceptive On Sale Again

The Today Sponge contraceptive is back on the market, eight years after it disappeared from U.S. drug store shelves in an alarming turn famously depicted on a "Seinfeld" episode.

Science Peers Behind Veil Of The Unborn: Today's Testing Carries Power And Responsibility

Last week scientists celebrated the 50th anniversary of the discovery of DNA's structure. But others outside the realm of researchers have long reaped the benefits of that genetic revolution: new parents.

U.N. Reduces Global Population Estimate For 2050 By 400 Million Because Of AIDS And Lower Birth Rates

The United Nations on Wednesday reduced its estimate of the global population in 2050 by 400 million, primarily because of the prolonged and worsening impact of the AIDS epidemic and lower than expected birth rates.

A Look At The Tuskegee Syphilis Study

The Tuskegee Syphilis Study has become a symbol of medical research gone awry.

Researchers Tout New Form Of Natural Birth Control

Women can choose from a wide selection of effective birth control methods these days, but a new natural mode of family planning uses the simplest of non-invasive devices yet promises highly effective results: Color-coded beads.

Supreme Court Denies Abortion Law Appeal

The Supreme Court turned down an appeal over a requirement that women get in-person counseling before they can have an abortion, a case that could have reopened the emotional question of when restrictions on abortion become unconstitutional.

Clinical Trials Of Herpes Drug Suspended

Eli Lilly and Co. and 3M Co. have suspended clinical trials of their genital herpes treatment, resiquimod, because preliminary data showed the drug wasn't as effective as expected.

CDC Reports Pregnancy-Related Deaths Still Higher In Black Women Than White Women

Black women have three to four times the risk of a pregnancy-related death when compared with white women, says a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Pregnancy-Related Mortality Surveillance-United States, 1991-1999.

Viagra Challenger On The Way

The head of drug and chemical giant Bayer AG said he expects his company's anti-impotence drug will be available as a competitor for Viagra in the United States by the fourth quarter of 2003, a newspaper reported.

Experts See Dangerous Trend In Use Of Viagra With "Party Pills"

People who use Viagra to offset the impotence effect of "party drugs" such as ecstasy and crystal methamphetamine also acknowledge having unprotected sex with more partners - which can breed disease. And Viagra can be deadly if used with amyl nitrite, commonly called "poppers," which some gay men take to facilitate sex..

Widespread Prenatal Scans Aid Chinese Couples To Abort Unwanted Girls

In greater numbers than ever, China's villagers are using inexpensive prenatal scans and then abortion to prevent the birth of unwanted daughters and to ensure that they will bear a son, recent studies and census data show.

Kentucky Board Retains Health Program

By the slimmest of margins, a federal program that funds reproductive health care services to thousands of poor women was retained despite a push by anti-abortion activists.

Iran's Clerics Tout Vasectomies To Curb Baby Boom

Having promoted a baby boom, Iran's religious leaders are now trying to curb it by discreetly touting vasectomies.

Sperm Donor Women Fear Time

More than two-thirds of single women who choose to have a baby using donated sperm do so because they fear they are running out of time to find a man they would want to have a child with, new research indicates.

Second Cloned Human Has Been Born

Clonaid, the company that claims to have produced the first human clone last week, said a second cloned baby has been born to a Dutch lesbian couple.

Taiwan rules oral sex isn't adultery

A group of Taiwanese judges and lawyers say oral sex isn't intercourse and so isn't adultery. Judges are not bound by the decision but it can be used as a reference in future cases.

Forty-nine of 60 judges and lawyers support the view that intercourse means genital-to-genital contact. The opposing camp at the law-making forum says sexual intercourse should refer to any form of genital contact.

But a spokesman for Taiwan's High Court says there is no law stating whether oral sex is a form of intercourse and so judges are left to make their own decisions.

The spokesman added: "Whatever decision these participants came up with during the meeting will only be a reference for judges when they handle similar cases in the future."

An unnamed Taipei judge who opposed the decision told the Taipei Times the conclusion could influence decisions in future trials. He suggests the country's Criminal Code be amended to state clearly that oral sex constitutes sexual intercourse.
Editor's note: The Oxford Dictionary states "adultry voluntary sexzual intercourse between a married person and a person (married or not) other than his or her spouse.: "spouse husband or wife." "sexual intercourse insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina, usu. followed by the ejaculation of semen."

HHS Won't Support Pregnancy Bill

The Bush administration says it no longer supports legislation adding pregnant women to a government health care program. It's no longer needed, administration officials say, because they've accomplished the same thing by providing health coverage directly to the fetus.

Contraceptive Being Recalled

A type of contraceptive injected once a month is being recalled because some doses may not be potent enough, the manufacturer announced. Source:

Nasal Spray Treats Low Sexual Desire

Better than Viagra? That's what some researchers are saying about a nasal spray that causes both men and women to become sexually aroused.

Safe Sex Should Be Promoted On TV Soaps, Doctors Say

TV dramas and soaps should feature young people who have contracted sexual diseases to warn of the dangers of infection, the British Medical Association said.

More Older Women Having Babies In Britain

Pop icon Madonna and Cherie Blair, the high-flying lawyer wife of Britain's prime minister, are role models for the increasing number of women having children later in life, the Family Planning Association said.

Researchers Study Healthy Sperm

Researchers have determined the genetic fingerprint of healthy human sperm - an advance that could be a major step forward in understanding male infertility. The discovery could also lead to new types of male contraceptives.

Politics Hold Up Health-Center Bill

Community health centers do not perform abortions, but abortion politics are holding up legislation renewing federal support for their work.

Catholic Colleges Debate Sex Policy

With sexually active students on their campuses and the Vatican unswervingly opposed to premarital sex, America's Roman Catholic colleges face difficult choices on such sensitive matters as condom use and unwanted pregnancies.

Alcohol Use, Thrill-Seeking Prove Bad Mix For HIV-Positive Men

HIV-positive men who seek new experiences and think alcohol improves sex are more likely to have unprotected sex, according to a new study.
Source: Center for the Advancement of Health,

No Link Between Epidurals And Backache

Epidural pain relief during labour is not associated with long term backache, find researchers in the BMJ.
Source: British Medical Journal,

Medicalising Sex Damages Relationships

Overly medical approaches to sex ignore the social and interpersonal dynamics of relationships, argue researchers in this week's BMJ.
Source: British Medical Journal,

DNA Tests Confirm Quadruplets Born In Kansas Are Two Sets Of Identical Twins

Genetic testing confirmed that quadruplets born to a Kansas mother were two sets of identical twins - an event likely to occur without fertility drugs in just 1 in 25 million births, her doctor said.

Live From The Womb, A 3-D Performance

For expectant parents, the first glimpse of the baby in the womb with an ultrasound machine is among life's most thrilling moments. Until a few years ago, however, even the best ultrasound images left something to the imagination. They were two-dimensional, grainy and black-and-white.

Woman In Clone Program Said Pregnant

A newspaper report quoting an Italian doctor who said a woman in his human cloning program is pregnant was met with criticism and skepticism from scientists and ethicists.
Source: Editor: Is the doctor going to have to pay child support?

NYC To Require Abortion Training

Obstetrics and gynecology residents in New York city's public hospitals will be routinely trained to perform abortions under a program backed by Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Unable To Say "Condom," Iran Grapples With AIDS

How to teach teen-agers about safe sex without even whispering the word condom is one of the delicate questions facing the Islamic Republic as it grapples with a surge in AIDS cases.

Birth Defect Risk Lower Than Expected For Cousins Who Have A Child

Children born to couples who are first or second cousins have a lower risk of birth defects than is commonly believed, but it can still be nearly twice as high as usual, according to a study.

Stress: What's Sex Got to Do With It?

Men and women react to stressful situations in very different ways. But it's not always because of personal choices. Learn about the fascinating role that hormones and brain chemistry play in human reactions.Gender differences extend to nearly every aspect of human behavior, including how we handle stress. While men face troubles head on or ignore them completely, women in stressful situations focus on bonding with friends and nurturing family. Researchers may now understand why.

In Sex Appeal, The Nose Knows

Take the route through a man's stomach to win his heart, according to the old axiom. But if sex is your aim, bypass the belly and make a beeline through his nasal cavity.

Women Tout Contraception Bill

Some women's advocates urged Congress Thursday to pass a bill that would require hospitals receiving federal funds to ensure that sexual assault victims are told about emergency contraception.

The Pill May Increase The Risk Of Breast Cancer According To A Large Study Of Younger Women

Women who have ever used the Pill face a slightly increased risk of developing breast cancer, according to one of the largest studies on oral contraceptive use, the 3rd European Breast Cancer Conference heard.

Men's Reproductive Health Care Gets New Emphasis

When it comes to family planning and sexual health, men have been largely left out of the health care system, according to a recently released report.

Interim Report Says Abstinence Programs Are 'Changing The Local Landscape' In Teen Pregnancy Prevention Efforts

Abstinence education programs have been implemented in communities nationwide, and federal abstinence funding is 'changing the local landscape of approaches to teenage pregnancy and youth risk avoidance,' according to an independent evaluation report released today.

Report Finds No Evidence That Abstinence-Only Counseling Prevents Teen Sex, Pregnancy, Disease

There still is no evidence whether programs that push sexual abstinence prevent teen sex, pregnancy or disease, the government reported, as Congress debates whether to renew an abstinence-only initiative.

Panel Votes On Sexual Abstinence Anyway

A House committee voted to renew a contentious sexual abstinence program Wednesday after rejecting a Democratic attempt to let states decide whether to include discussion of birth control methods.(Editor: A government run by Porkbellies not facts. An education isn't required to be a Senator or Representative. So, if we don't help kids understand pregnancy and what to do if you do get pregnant, who wins?)

Cloning Doctor Claims Three Clone Pregnancies Under Way But Offers No Details

An Italian fertility doctor said on a TV talk show Wednesday that three cloned babies are already in the womb, but offered no evidence of his startling claim.

Strange Signals From Breastfeeding

How you smell really can change the way people around you behave-and it has nothing to do with bad BO. Breastfeeding women and newborns give off odours that boost the sexual desire of other women.
Source: New Scientist,

Medicalising Sex Damages Relationships

Overly medical approaches to sex ignore the social and interpersonal dynamics of relationships, argue researchers in this week's BMJ.
Source: British Medical Journal

Homosexuality is Not a Mental Illness

In 1954, American Psychological Association (APA) meeting and a 1956 Western Psychological Association meeting, Dr. Evelyn Hooker presented what were then ground-breaking results from her study, which indicated that gay men were as well adjusted as heterosexual men. Overturning its 100-year-old position, the American Psychiatric Association announces that homosexuality is not a psychological disorder in 1974.

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

When it comes to tackling tough issues, like homophobia and coming out, don't underestimate the power of humor. "Humor certainly saved me in my early years of being gay and not knowing exactly how to fit into the world," Max Mutchnick, the openly gay co-creator and executive producer of Will & Grace, NBC's gay-themed sitcom, told "You end up being able to discuss a lot when you are light about it. More families could benefit from a lighter touch."

Homophobia, said Mutchnick, "is a generational thing, and it's taught. There aren't enough families sitting down to dinners and saying, 'You can't have these prejudices against gays and lesbians,'" Mutchnick explained. He said that gay stereotypes exist on television for a reason. "I do believe that we're very sensitive in the gay community, and we get very uppity when we see a stereotype pop up. The truth is, the stereotypes are what they are because those people very much exist," he explained. When it comes to the season finale, Mutchnick promised fans "a very big surprise ending."

Is sex good exercise?

Researchers are saying sex is good for your health. Is it just the exercise? We've seen evidence that even walking briskly for 20 minutes three times a week can help heart health, so that explanation may be adequate - but there may be something else at work too.

Have sex to reduce disease risk

Men can halve the risk of a major heart attack or stroke by having sex three or four times a week, a specialist in cardiovascular disease said on Tuesday.

Men who see themselves as athletic in bed will be also heartened by University of Bristol research which says doctors now believe that sex is as legitimate a form of exercise as a game of squash or a long run.

The British university's Professor Shah Ebrahim said a study of 2,400 men in the Welsh town of Caerphilly had forced cardiovascular specialists to redefine the relationship between exercise and the prevention of cardiovascular disease.

"In the past we thought it had to be activity at least three times a week and lasting 20 minutes or longer, causing sweatiness or being out of breath," Ebrahim told Reuters.

"That's quite vigorous activity. Most men of course think it's sex, which most women think lasts only a few minutes and isn't nearly as sustained as that," he said.

In the groundbreaking Caerphilly study, men with no history of major diseases were asked a wide range of questions, including whether they had sex once, twice or three or more times a week.

"What was found when the men were followed up over the next 10 years was that those who'd had three or more orgasms a week were half as likely to have had a heart attack or a stroke," Ebrahim said by telephone from the fourth World Stroke Congress in Melbourne.

"We're now moving to a situation where we would say that even mild to moderate levels of physical activity are likely to have some cardiovascular protective effect," he said.

The World Stroke Congress was told on Monday of Japanese research into a possible link between strokes and infidelity.

Tokyo-based cardiovascular researcher Dr Izumi Toyoda said he had found in a study of 42 people who had suffered fatal cerebral strokes while having sex that almost half were being unfaithful.

Of the 42 fatal strokes, 19 "resulted from sexual relations that were extramarital or with prostitutes," Toyoda said.

Other researchers cautioned that factors such as high alcohol intake could also have been a factor among those 19 cases. Toyoda's speech notes said more study was needed in these cases.

The congress also heard on Tuesday that extreme snoring was also a serious risk factor for strokes and could be made worse by alcohol consumption.

The Secret to a Long Life:  Have lots of sex!

Men can halve the risk of a major heart attack or stroke byhaving sex three or four times a week, a specialist in cardiovascular disease said yesterday.

Men who see themselves as athletic in bed will also be heartened by University of Bristol research which says doctors now believe that sex is as legitimate a form of exercise as a game of squash or a long run.

The British university's Professor Shah Ebrahim said a study of 2,400 men in the Welsh town of Caerphilly had forced cardiovascular specialists to redefine the relationship between exercise and the prevention of cardiovascular disease.

"In the past we thought it had to be activity at least three times a week and lasting 20 minutes or longer, causing sweatiness or being out of breath," Ebrahim said.

"That's quite vigorous activity. Most men of course think it's sex, which most women think lasts only a few minutes and isn't nearly as sustained as that," he said.

In the groundbreaking Caerphilly study, men with no history of major diseases were asked a wide range of questions, including whether they had sex once, twice or three or more times a week.

"What was found when the men were followed up over the next 10 years was that those who'd had three or more orgasms a week were half as likely to have had a heart attack or a stroke," Ebrahim said.

It's also been said but not substantiated the having sex and/or masturbating at least 3 times a week is good for the prostate. It can sure be fun keeping fit.

U.S. Trial of Supplement to Optimize Sperm Quality

Larry Lipshultz, M.D., head of the Division of Male Reproductive Medicine and Surgery at Baylor College of Medicine, announced today that he is participating in a multicenter clinical trial to test the effectiveness of Proxeed, a dietary supplement specifically formulated to optimize the quality of sperm. Sigma-Tau Consumer Products will sponsor the double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical study of Proxeed on subjects with idiopathic low sperm count or weak sperm and a history of subfertility, or difficulty conceiving.

Sperm quality is a key component of male reproductive health and directly correlated to higher rates of conception. A man's ability to produce quality sperm varies from month to month, and can be affected by his lifestyle, diet, hormone levels and age.

"In addition to evaluating the effectiveness of Proxeed, we hope this trial helps increase the public's awareness of male infertility as a treatable cause of conception failure," said Dr. Lipshultz.

A second site for the trial is located at The Jones Institute of Reproductive Medicine at Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, where the first successful in vitro fertilization procedure in the U.S. took place. The multicenter trial, the first sponsored by Sigma-Tau Consumer Products in the United States with the current formulation of Proxeed, will enroll approximately 300 participants. Announcements of additional trial centers will be made soon.

"We are excited to give Proxeed a trial in a well-designed study," said Sergio Oehninger, M.D., Professor and Director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at The Jones Institute. "This may prove to be very relevant in the absence of other more rigorously scrutinized medical therapies in male infertility."

Proxeed contains the active ingredients L-carnitine and acetyl-L-carnitine. In earlier European studies, these ingredients have been shown to promote optimum sperm motility and speed, as well as maturation - all key factors in the process of sperm development.

"Proxeed's ingredients have been the subject of more than 30 years of study and have been safely used by thousands of men in Europe and the United States in an effort to optimize their sperm quality," said David Barshis, vice president of Sigma-Tau Consumer Products. "We are very excited about this new clinical trial and believe that the data will help us add to our understanding of the role of Proxeed in promoting sperm quality. " Between 20 to 30 percent of all couples experience what is known as subfertility at least once in their lives. Subfertile couples are healthy couples that take longer than expected to conceive and studies show that sperm quality may be a factor in as many as 50 percent of these couples. Consumers or healthcare providers interested in learning more about the clinical trial or about Proxeed can call 877.PROXEED (776.9333) or visit

DMassachusettts, Pennsylvania & Alaska Legislate Sex Discrimination

Did you know that there are over 1,250 health clubs in the U.S. that cater solely to women or offer a women-only workout area and no public clubs that offer the same services for men only that we could find. Nautilus is one of the leaders in this movement for women's only clubs. And, according to the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association, the number of women's only health clubs is on the rise. This isn't a surprise to us. We've written about this for years, how discrimination is used supposedly to eliminate discrimination. In a CNN story by Suzanne Schlosberg , Alaska, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania legislatures have voted to protect single-sex clubs (translate women only clubs). Some of the reasons for such clubs is that, while some women enjoy the attention from men, others feel self-conscious exercising in a coed environment. I personally resigned my membership at the Amador Health Club in Dublin, CA for that very reason and haven't returned to any health club since. I would if I didn't have to show my flab to women, but that doesn't look like a possibility because I'm a man.

The National Organization for Women (NOW) actually lobbied hard against single-sex registration in Massachusetts but more from a political stance not wanting to take the chance we might return to segregating golf clubs and other sports venues. "Our objection is to passing a law that permits discrimination," said their president Andrea Mullin. But, alas, discrimination continues in the north, and it's been specifically legalized in Alaska, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania. So, we as a society can continue to teach our children that discrimination is okay, as in so many other legal situations, if it's against men.


Brothel Battles

On a lighter note, it is reported that Sydney, ASL's 400 legal brothels are trying to outdo each other in getting ready for the Games. No gimmick is going untested. An establishment called the Tokyo House offers what it calls its "Olympic Special." Naturally, it has to do with sushi served in the raw, and the rest, you don't want to know.


A&U magazine reports that researchers are reexamining the risks associated with oral sex. The transmissibility of HIV through cunnilingus or fellatio has been a focus of concern since the early days. In an era when sexual activity can be a life-threatening activity, it is important that individuals take the time to understand what is known about the risk factors associated with oral sex. WANT TO KNOW MORE?

Fox Broadcasting Expands Sexuality Beyond Male and Female

I recently filled-out a "reply card" for a Fox Broadcasting video I had purchased. It asked alot of questions but the most intriguing was "Are you male or female? __Yes, __No."  I wrote "Yes. What are the other options?" I haven't heard back yet but maybe the executives at Fox read one of John Money's books describing 23 different sexual types.

Gay Today

The 3/20/00 issue of Newsweek does a special report called Gay Today: How the battle for acceptance has moved to school, churches, marriage & the workplace.

Sexual Confidence

The cover of Elle should tell you something. It's not about anything in the bedroom. It's about being in public. The subhead reads "When sheer tops expose bare breasts and short shorts leave little to the imagination, the question begs asking: What kind of women wear these clothes?" (3/00) If men expose themselves this way, we're locked up as pervs. Now, before I go on, I would like to say that I am not against sex. I am not against bare breasts in public. I supported Annie Sprinkle year's ago to liberate the beaches in Santa Cruz, CA. If I remember correctly, Santa Cruz had a law that men and women had to cover the bottom and top parts of their bodies up until 1932. The law was changed to allow men to go topless. It wasn't until year's of protest, that the law was changed to allow women to go topless. Great. This fasination/seduction with clothing is all part of a game of not being honest because of the overly puritanical country we live in. Uncovered breasts in public are nothing in many parts of Euope and Scandanavia. Many indiginois people's around the world go or at least went topless (and many bottomless) until the missionaries shamed them about their bodies. And, we've had decades of boys grow up sneaking The National Geographic into the bathroom. The young boys in these other countries don't have this affliction. And yet, it continues to get perpetrated in the U.S. If our daughters are checking out publications like Elle, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar and there's even a Cosmo Girl now, to get an idea of adult fashion without being given a bit of sex education around responsibility on what they wear, how they flirt, and what meaning it may have to boys who have been enticed into an unhealth facination with breasts, and without talking with our sons about responsibility, often the innocence of the girls actions, that only "Yes" means yes, we will continue to have acting out by both sexes that will continue to get 2,000,000 teen girls pregnant each year, increase infections of STDS (12,000,000 total new cases each year) and possibly AIDS, and, more importantly, an unhealthy view and experience around intimacy, love and sex. All of the pictures above are out of the 3/00 issue of Elle. And, you can say it's only fashion, but I have been exposed to breasts, nipples, and vulvas in public before. Why do women get the privilege of enjoying the titilation of exposing themselves (that's what several women's articles have claimed), when men must endure, no look (or somehow we're objectifying women when who is the one really setting their body up to be objectified), and think of the woman for her mind and abilities on the job. If I were in France where I had been exposed to sexuality in a healthy way, and had grown up seeing breasts in advertising on television, and my son had the same experience, it would be different. But I didn't grow up in a healthy culture around sexuality. I grew up and live in the U.S. Just think, if our sons get wind of this, they may give up The National Geographic for the lastest issue of Elle. Moms might have to start hiding there copies under the mattress next to dads Playboy. Wouldn't it be great if the mystery could be removed from sexuality, the magazines pulled out from under the mattress, and honest discussions about sexuality start happening in the home! It is said that, possibly because of the hormones added to beef, our girls our beginning mensus a couple of years earlier now. In many foreign countries, girls are treated as women on their first mensus and often married shortly after that time to start families. When will we realize that our little girls have become women, whether we like it or not, and it's our responsibility to teach them that and what goes along with being a woman. There are a number of books pulications like New Moon Networker, on how to talk to your kids about sex. One of the all-around bests books for teaching adults and kids is The Guide to Getting It On! We recommend that all parents get a copy, and all non-parents get a copy unless you are celebate or a solosexual (see the next newsbyte). Fewer than 20% of parents have taken responsibility to talk with their kids about sex. It's sad that often times, the first time many parents mention sex to children is around warnings about sexual abuse. What a way to start anyone on the road to a healthy, happy sex life is to be warned, shamed, and made to feel guilty about sex. Talking about bad kinds of touch and forgetting to include good kinds of touch. After all, virtually all children know the feelings of good touch because they have played with themselves at very early age. But not to get a clear picture of good touch from adults, thwarts their sexual development. In the recovery movement it is said that one area of sexual abuse is the passing on of inapropriate or lack of appropriate informatoin about sex. I had one bright, intellegnet mother of a teen daughter tell me that the girls are just innocently flirting and don't know any better. She was stumpled when I asked her, "If you know this, why haven't you taught her to know better?" Would we rather take individual parental responsibility to teach our children about healthy sex or risk the chance, instead, of teaching them about abortion, or being a teen mother or father? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be a grand father while my child was still a child. It's tough enough raising a child with two secure, fully developed adults. It's your responsibility! Think about it.


FHM, one of the many British men's magazine to grace US newsstands, did an article on Harold Litten, who publishes a magazine in the U.S. called Celebrate The Self. It was titled "I was great last night. When pleasing someone else gets to be too much hassle, why not just please yourself?"  The basic purpose for the magazine is to provide positive images for masturbation. Defined, a true solosexual prefers himself as a sex object and partner. He may have had relationships with others, but he has found sex with himself to be more exjoyable. A very interesting magazine. Combine it with the video Evolutionary Masturbation: An intimate guide to male orgasm and you might make yourself a very happy man. Just another alternative in the many options that men and women have if we choose to explore them.

First Time

Blackman Magazine reports: Data from a six-person research team from the University of Texas and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that studied when teens first have sex strongly indicates that not having a parent who grauduated from college increases the likelihood of earlier first intercourse.

Do It Clean

Advice from Jill Cargerman in Bikini magazine on shaving your lady's privates - it's risky business. Here's a good rule of thumb: never "wing" any activitity which mixes razors and genitalia. You must approach pube shaving with great care; think bonsai versus bushwack. Just because you've mastered shaving your face doesn't mean you're going to be Edward Scissorhands when it comes time to trim the trim. Planning is important. You don't want to be halfway through...before you discover that Palmolive isn't going to cut the mustard. And, unless you're looking forward to having crotch stubble stuck to your pillow, you're probably going to want to avoid playing barber shop on your bed. Or on the couch. Or on the counter next to a kitchen sink full of dishes (trust me, you'll be picking pubes out of your coffee mugs for months.) Instead, use candles to turn your bathroom into a sexy snatch salon. Set the mood by starting out with a two-person bubble bath, then have your girlfriend stand and suds her up with a mild bar soap (those marked fragrance-free, hypoallergenic are the least likely to be irritating). Once she's sufficiently lathered, start shaving. Use a new razor and rinse often, because even a small nick can spoil the moment (while a large nick can lead to an embarrassing trip to the emergency room). If you're unsure what you're doing, best hand over the razor and let your friend finish the job. Just remember, the result will be up to ten days of painful, itchy razor burn for your friend...and you will be blamed. If that's not worth one night of passion, then I recommend renting a movie instead. Shampoo, anyone?

New Sex Drugs

Discover does a cover story on "The Race to create passion on demand." The story covers a new crop of designer drugs in the works that will allow you to pick a potion that guarantees good sex even if you or your partner don't much feel like it.

The History of Sex

The History of Sex airs on the History Channel starting Monday, August 16, 1999 for five one-hour specials. Check local listings for exact times. The project is more documentary than stag film. You will learn about early methods of contraception:  Ancient Egyptians used crocodile dung; Roman women thought sneezing was reliable; and the first condoms (which debuted in the Middle Ages) were made of animal bladders and twine. It may make you glad to be living in the modern age. See information on Preven.

Georgia Sodomy Law Out

Celebrate the Self magazine reports that "The Supreme Court of the state of Georgia has reversed a decision in which a man had been found guilty of sodomy when he had oral/anal sex with his 17-year-old niece. The lower court hadn't been given a choice:  A state law declared such acts, whether homosexual or heterosexual, illegal. The high court ruled that the law was unconstitutional - in spite of the fact that 12 years ago the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the law. Twelve states will still make consensual oral and anal sex between heterosexual or homosexual couples a crime; six states apply the law only to homosexuals. In Alabama, in case you're interested, anal and oral sex are crimes unless the parties involved are married."

Women Like to Watch, Too

From Black Man. Ask any woman if she likes to watch erotic videos, and she'll most likely become embarrassed or simply reply, "of course not."  But, research shows that one in three American women are watching. "Twenty percent of our catalog customer base is women and that percentage jumps to beteween 27 and 30 percent for our web site sales," says Katy Zvolerin of Adam & Eve, the nation's largest erotica mall order catalog company and leading direct mail distributor of adult videos. A national survey conducted by Yankelovich Partners, sponsored by Adam & Eve, found that 29 percent of American women are using adult videos in their sexual relationships. While men were significantly more likely to admit they watch erotic movies (44 percent), half of women respondents (49 percent) agreed that such activity can be part of a healthy sexual relationship. So why can't women admit they like to watch?  "Many women would never admit they watch adult movies, even though it's a completely natural and healthy response to wanting to enjoy the full potential of your sexuality," says Patt Britton, PhD, clinical sexologist. "American sexual stereotyping, where men are praised for their sexual prowess and women made to feel shame, has kept many women from allowing themselves to enjoy their own sexuality, and especially to claim their indulgences in sexually explicit materials."  Sales of adult films comprise a $4.2 billion industry in American. The industry's most respected trade publication, Adult Video News, estimates that couples are now the second largest group watching erotic videos, after men watching alone. The random-digit telephone survey of 1,014 adults, ages 25 to 49, was commissioned by Adam & Even to study American attitudes toward sexuality."

Toy Story

According to Playgirl: 25 Years of Entertainment for Women, 10 percent of American adults, or 13.9 million, use sex toys. Most common age group 30-49. Although 9 percent of married couples use toys, 15 percent of indulgers are divorced, separated or widowed. 12 percent of whites play with toys, only 2 percent of blacks do so. Use increases with education (About 8 percent have less than a high school education while 11 percent are college graduates.) It also increases with wealth and, as the number of partners increases, do does sex toy use. (If the Jannes Report has any validity, they're probably all Republicans that say they never insert.)

Alabama shop owner challenges sex toy ban

Tries a second time to have Supreme Court rule on state law

The owner of adult stores in Alabama asked the Supreme Court on Monday to throw out a state ban on selling sex toys, calling it an unconstitutional intrusion into the bedroom.

If the court declines to take the case — as it did in 2005 — Alabama residents shopping for sexual novelties could soon have to look outside the state’s borders.

“A person should have the right to make their own decision to explore their sexual boundaries outside what some government official says is moral,” Sherri Williams said outside the Supreme Court before filing the appeal.

Williams has waged a mostly losing battle against the law since the state legislature passed it in 1998.

The Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals dealt her the latest setback on Valentine’s Day, upholding the ban as constitutional and saying “the state’s interest in preserving and promoting public morality provides a rational basis for the challenged statute.”

The state has held off on enforcing the law as the case winds through the appeals process.

Alabama is one of a handful of states, including Texas and Georgia, with laws restricting sales of sex toys. The Alabama “anti-obscenity” law bans the sale of sex toys but not their possession.
Note: An internet story on AOL Health 12/11/08 stated "Alabama and Mississippi outlaw any sales of sex toys, whereas several other states have restrictions on how such items can be advertised and distributed."

Tupperware parties with a twist

Sex toys are for sale at these ladies-only gatherings

On the evening I visit Julie Bunton’s new house in this small farming town that seems to grow more tract homes than crops, family is gathered inside the living room — mothers, daughters, cousins, in-laws — along with a few friends. There is diced fruit, vegetable crudités and a tray with marshmallows ready for dipping into a chocolate fountain.

Brooke Reinertsen, a saleswoman for one of those multi-level marketing home-party outfits, is giving a sales presentation. But it sounds nothing like a Tupperware or Mary Kay event.

“OK ladies, now rub, lick, blow. Rub, lick, blow. Feel that? You can just about breathe your partner to orgasm with this!”

Reinertsen, a no-nonsense 30-year-old suburban mom from Shawnee, Kan., goes on to demonstrate “Gigi,” a male masturbation sleeve, by squeezing a generous amount of lubricant into it, then sliding and twisting it up and down the penis-shaped lube bottle.

“This is going to make your job so much easier!” she says, sounding a lot like a vacuum salesman who’s just spread topsoil on the carpet.

At that, 15 women turn to look at me, as if to say, “Well?” It's then I realize that being the only man at a Passion Party can be uncomfortable.

But in this room, I'm the only one blushing, which is saying something because Cathy Pearson, 44, is here with her two daughters, 18 and 24. Not only is she not embarrassed, she regards the sex toy party as a chance for some mother-daughter bonding, a deliberate effort to change the sexual conversation she heard as a girl.

“I was so sheltered … I was very naïve,” she tells me. Like many in the area, she grew up Southern Baptist, got married out of high school and “all I knew was this little world. When I got divorced 10 years ago, I felt so stupid.” She doesn’t want her daughters to feel the same way.

Sizzling market

This is exactly what Pat Davis, the president of Passion Parties, the Las Vegas-based company that supplies Reinertsen with her products and training, calls the company’s mission. “We are really helping educate women, helping them have better relationships,” she says.

If my three nights of Passion Partying in small-town Missouri are any indication, Davis has tapped into a very receptive audience, and one quite willing to pay for vibrators, dildos, lubricants and other products that boost their sexual pleasure.

Reinertsen’s sales network, which includes herself and those she has brought into the fold, made more than $1.2 million in sales in 2005. She took home more than $100,000 in personal income. She’ll do better in 2006, and most of those sales will come from small towns and rural locations in eastern Kansas and western Missouri.

Nationwide, the company does more than 128,000 parties a year, reaching more than 1.2 million women.

“This year we will have 38 women whose organizations will do over $1 million,” Davis says. “At least three women will do over $5 million.”

Davis won't give out the private company’s gross sales, but I did some math and suggested to Joanne Harvie, the vice-president of finance, that the corporation sells something like $100 million dollars worth of sex-related products per year.

“You could say that, rest comfortably, and sleep very well at night,” she says. Sales are growing at a double-digit pace.

Competitors like Pure Romance, based near Cincinnati, are also seeing big gains, so much so that adult industry veterans like mail-order giant Adam & Eve are getting into the home-party act, too.

Sex and the suburbs

While the adult home-party industry exists everywhere, the bulk of the sales occur in small towns and suburbs. “We do well in the small communities,” Reinertsen says. “Having a Passion Party is like a night out.”

Most women I meet don’t fit the convenient boxes into which the noisiest combatants in our culture wars would place them. Viewed through the prism of a Passion Party, stereotypes like “red state” and “Bible belt” become meaningless. They want the same excitement, orgasms and variation as the women they see on "Sex and the City" and they are surprisingly tolerant of the ways others might seek the same.

During my stay, I hear:

She hadn’t let her own husband see her completely naked for the first two years of her marriage, she says. But while she described herself as “very conservative,” and not especially sexually experimental, “I don’t care what anybody else does. Bondage, threesomes, I would not look down on anybody else for it. Don’t pressure me, I won’t pressure you.”

She, along with every other woman in the room, had watched porn, usually with their husbands. Several had shopped at an adult store, though they drove to another town to do it so neighbors wouldn’t see their cars in the parking lot.

That’s why they like these parties so much — and they clearly do like them. Once the front door closes, they don’t have to worry about what anybody else is going to think.

On my last night with Reinertsen, I see how powerful the lure of these parties can be. We drive down a country road looking for Tanya and Matt Willoughby’s place. When she spots a couple of balloons tied to a mail box and a pickup truck for sale in the yard, we turn into the gravel driveway.

Inside the small house, two photo portraits of Tanya Willoughby’s brothers sit on a bookcase; one brother is in his National Guard uniform, the other in his Marine Corps dress blues. A copy of "The Open Bible," a popular study Bible, sits on the coffee table, and baking dishes of sweet butter cake and other snacks are spread on the kitchen counter.

Once again, this party turns out to be multi-generational. When I tell 48-year-old Peggy Frizell, whose daughter is one of the hostesses, that I’m surprised by the sight of mothers and daughters talking sex toys, she laughs at me.

“We’ve had these parties before and they are usually multi-generational,” she explains. “People are going, ‘That’s your mom? That’s your aunt? Your cousin?’ My sister would be here but she’s working … There’s a joke in our family, ‘Who gets the toys when we die?’”

Reinertsen begins her presentation but, unlike the other parties, about half the women here are weirdly subdued. A young woman in a John Deere T-shirt (“Been there. Cut that.”) eyes me nervously. Reinertsen sweats like a stand-up comic working a tough room.

After a few minutes, I ask for an explanation and they tell me it’s my fault. They have no desire to be exposed attending a Passion Party. They may be eager to expand their sexual menus, but they don’t want the rest of their community to know.

But they do loosen up a little, and begin cracking a few jokes about vibrators and talking about where to go for a bachelorette outing the next weekend.

Somebody suggests Shaft, a gay nightclub in St. Joseph. “I like it there. The gay guys know how to dance, they’re fun, and they don’t try to pick you up.”

Her first time

After her presentation, Reinertsen and I sit in a tiny back bedroom with a half-finished Winnie the Pooh wallpaper border — Willoughby is expecting — and wait for orders. (In what seems like a quaint practice, given the freewheeling talk at most parties, all ordering is done in private.)

After a few minutes her first customer, a 26-year-old single woman, walks in.

“I come from a small town,” she says by way of explanation for why she won’t give me her name. “My graduating class was 18 people.”

She’s reluctant to buy, or more precisely, to be seen buying. It would be her first sex toy, “so this is a big deal," she tells me.

“I want the Pulsating Orbiter,” she decides.

Source: Brian Alexander, a California-based freelance writer and's Sexploration columnist, is traveling around the country to find out how Americans get sexual satisfaction. Alexander, also a Glamour contributing editor, is chronicling his work in the special report "America Unzipped" and in an upcoming book for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing. In the next installment in this series, he attends a fetish convention.

"Be All You Can Be - Join the Army"

"Coming Out Under Fire" is a film that limits its view to how gays have been treated by the military, a microcosm of society here. People who tell other people to stop being who they are either don't understand human nature or don't empathize (or both) because it's just about an impossible demand - like asking someone to imprison themselves. Human beings have a central need to express themselves to the world as they really are.

In one astonishing moment, a military officer testifying at the 1993 Senate hearings says, in all seriousness, "If you want to be in the military, serve quietly. Give up your right to be who you are." If that's true, they need to change their slogan to "Be Only Part of What Your Can Be".

Grim new numbers on STDs

At least 1 in every 3 sexually active people will contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD) by the age of 24, reports a new public-health study by the American Social Health Association. Diseases such as herpes and hepatitis B are even more widespread than experts had previously thought. They estimate 15.3 million new STD cases each year. And because STDs are seldom discussed, even in the privacy of a doctor's office, many potential victims are not even aware of the two diseases that together account for two thirds of all new infections. Trichomoniasis, which often has no symptoms but which can cause infertility, shrikes 5 million men and women a year and the human papilloma virus, which is sometimes without symptoms but which can cause warts and genital cancers, infects 5.5 million annually. Not usually tested, if you have concerns, don't be shy. Again, U.S. News & World Report.

Innocence is Heartwarming

This Leeza talk show involved with the issue of people with AIDS. There were heterosexual couples dealing with the issue but the most touching was a gay couple with a 6 year old daughter. Her father had died of AIDS, his lover was HIV and received custody. And, his new lover was HIV positive. While many in the audience carried the hate towards the gay couple, she knew real love. You see, children don't understand adult hate. Unfortunately, after being around if all the time, they soon learn to emulate it. What children do need is love, acceptance and connection. And this little girl was receiving more of it from this gay couple than I have seen most heterosexual couples give their children. It's interesting how work and achieving status, and being busy has taken the place of quite connection, of being present without the need to do or say anything. Allowing children to experience more of us rather than what we think and believe. I saw a bumper sticker that made me think. "Beliefs are the natural enemy of truth." That little girl wasn't listening to the narrow believes of others. She was experiencing loving parents, regardless of their orientation.

*     *     *

According to a recent study, about 20% of men and 6% of women sleep naked.

It only seems kinky the first time.

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