Valentine's Day

Menstuff® has compiled the following information on Valentine's Day and related subjects. National Condom Day * St. Valentine's Day /Lupercalia Day, Old Roman festival dedicated to God-Goddess as Faunus-Fauna, celebrating love - heterosexual and homosexual; merged with the Christian feast of St. Valentine (US). The Mystic's Wheel of the Year. * Valentines for Vets Week - America's National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans Feb 14-20 * St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Al Capone's gang is suspected of gunning down 7 members of "Bugs" Moran's gang in Chicago on this date in 1929.


The Origin of Valentine's Day
Single on Valentine’s? Hooray! Single and Loving It
100 Women Can't Be Wrong
12 Secrets to Making Valentine's Day (or any day) Special
Top 10 Things to Do on Valentine's Day
Top 10 Things You Should Never Say To Her
The Perfect Couple on Valentine's Day
23 Reasons NOT to Use a Condom
How to Have a Happy Valentine's Day
National Condom Awareness Day
Sweetheart Scams
Related Issues:
 Celibacy, Condoms, Contraception, Impotency, Marriage, Relationships, Reproduction, Safer Sex, Sexuality, STDs
Books: Communication, Conflict Resolution, Impotency, Intimacy, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality
Slide Guide: Guide to STDs

12 Secrets to Making Valentine's Day (or any day) Special

As you've probably noticed, we are all being bombarded with messages like don't forget the flowers, boxes of candy, and of course, the diamonds because Valentine's day is approaching.

Valentine's day can bring up a myriad of emotions which can either bring couples closer for a short period of time or create feelings of loneliness and separation for other couples or singles.

So how can you deal with a holiday like this and actually enjoy yourself, whether you are in a "relationship" or not?

Here are 12 secrets to making your relationships better--no matter what day it is from our "Red Hot Love Relationships" book.

1) Don't Forget Kindness and Thoughtfulness We all get in a rush sometimes and forget to be kind. We just want to get the things done that we have to get done and move along to the next thing to be done. Whether you are currently in an intimate relationship or not--take a moment to be kind to the people in your life.

Kindness certainly doesn't have to mean "doing" for someone (but it can.) It can mean just giving a smile, sending a kind, loving thought, or simply listening to a story that you may have heard many times before.

2) Don't Forget Appreciation So often we find ourselves dwelling on what irritates us about the people in our lives and we forget to appreciate the things about our relationships that are working. Appreciation only works when you want nothing in return.

If there are "strings" along with your appreciation of another person, (like you want appreciation in return) it will seem like an empty, needy gesture. Appreciation has to be expressed from your heart and in such a way that is genuine.

3) Listen Closely to What Your Partner Wants Whether it's to make plans for a Valentine's day celebration or just listening to how your partner's day went--leave your ego and your desire to help or "fix it" for him or her at the door and just listen. We all get into habits that stifle communication--that shut off a true connection of the heart.

To open up and bring more joy and ease into your relationship, take a moment to realize what you do to assume, to fix or to judge (even though you may not think you are doing those things) and just listen to understand your partner.

4) Listen Closely to What You Want Listening closely to what you want can be even harder than learning to listen to your partner. So many people have learned along the way that it's not safe to feel emotions--and they simply don't know how to listen to what they want.

You have to practice listening to the voice inside you so that you can be honest and authentic with the people in your life. You have to learn who you are and honor that by letting others know who the real "you" is.

5) If It's an Intimate Relationship, Don't Forget Time Alone In our busy lives, we often forget to recharge by spending some time alone. Whether it's taking a walk outside by yourself and enjoying nature or it's taking 20 minutes to meditate or tune in and calm your thoughts--we've found that we are much better people and treat each other more lovingly if we take time for ourselves.

6) Don't Forget to Breathe It may seem kind of silly to remind you to not forget to breathe, but so many of us actually live in the land of anxious, shallow breathing.

Belly breathing can relax you, help you to clear your mind and keep you in the present moment.

What's that got to do with creating great relationships?

When we are relaxed, we listen better to others and we don't react quite so quickly from old patterns. We are able to access a fresh point of view when we breathe that can promote more understand and closer connections.

7) Don't Forget the "Show" What's the "show"? The show is what we do to show the other person that he/she is special in our lives.

It can be a greeting card, a present or creating a special night or weekend away.

It can be elaborate or it can be simple--whatever the two of you prefer. The main thing is that you "show" the other person how special they are to you.

8) Don't Forget Discernment The media likes to use hype and if you buy into what the mass media promotes as "the way Valentine's day should be," then you might be setting yourself up for disappointment after the big day comes and goes.

Remember, it's not about the money you spend or where you bought that special diamond necklace or ring.

It's about the love that's underneath all of that.

9) Don't Forget to Be Present and Be Real If you're like most people, you're usually either mentally thinking about what you have to do or are going to do in the future or thinking about what happened to you in the past.

The present moments fly by without you really participating in them. To be present and real means to be fully focusing on what's going on right here and right now.

Great relationships are built on that idea and whether it's Valentine's day or not, it's a terrific practice to get into.

10) Don't Forget to Think Long-Term Love and Not Just Short-Term "Wow" Whether it's a dating situation or long-term committed relationship or marriage, when you are thinking about a celebration of your love or of your relationship, keep in mind what would create and help foster continued long-term love instead of going for the "wow" factor.

To know the difference, you have to be in tune with how you and your partner like to celebrate--and everyone's different so you have to pay attention and listen.

11) Don't Forget that You're Never too Young or Too Old for Love Many people have a fixed age in their minds where love is no longer possible. This age might be 40, 50, 60, or 80. We're here to tell you that love is possible at any age.

The trick to finding or renewing it is to recognize what ideas and beliefs have held you back or have sabotaged love in the past and change those habits.

Anyone can change and at any age. It just takes a willingness and desire to do so and to take a chance on having something wonderful.

12) Don't Forget About Nostalgia Anyone want to bring out those old Cd's, records or tapes of the music you used to listen to when you first fell in love?

What a special way to celebrate your love and to renew those feelings at the same time. You might go to a restaurant or park that you used to go to or do some activity together that used to make your hearts sing.

Even if you are not currently in a relationship, you can resurrect things that used to be fun for you and have a mini-celebration of you.

We hope that these 12 tips on what not to forget will be helpful to you in creating relationships that you truly want. At any time during the year, we invite you to make conscious decisions about your life and not just let "life" happen to you.

Our best, Susie and Otto Collins
Source: Our column

Top 10 Things to Do on Valentine's Day

It's that time of year again: relationship "make or break" time. If you want to make sure that you keep your girlfriend and do not slip up, then perhaps you should examine the following suggestions of things you could do for your lovely partner. Just keep in mind that some of these tips apply to early stage relationships, while others are helpful for spicing up a more mature union. (Log on to the source for all the reasons.)

10. Ask her out on a first date
9. Partake in some physical activity
8. Massage
7. Rose petals path
6. Rent a hotel in town and pretend you are tourists
5. Don't forget to do your homework.
4. Have sex in public.
3. Get away.
2. Act up.
1. Can't believe I'm goig to suggest this but...

Top 10 Things You Should Never Say To Her

All right gentlemen, men have always been blasted for not being very truthful. Some even say that nothing could ever justify lying. I agree that you are better off coming clean most of the time, but there are some instances when you are better off either shutting up or telling a little white lie -- or risk spending the night on the couch. Just remember to take this with a grain of salt. (Log on to the source for all the reasons.)

10. Man, you look so much like your mom!
9. I would have invited you, but you're no fun
8. Anything related to marriage or children
7. Would have, could have, should have
6. You don't need another pair of shoes
5. Any story about your private life
4. Come on, a few little cramps never hurt anybody
3. What's the big deal? You have another birthday next year
2. Are you sure the dress shrunk?
1. That's not the way my ex did it

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How to Have a Happy Valentine's Day

Are you worried you'll get a valentine from someone you don't like or that you'll get a mean valentine? Our article for kids will help you deal with Valentine's Day.

Sweetheart Scams

The war on "Sweetheart Scams" and dating fraud by exposing scammers gets bigger. Surf "Sweetheart Scams" links for valuable information, particularly if you've met someone questionable. I don't want any of our readers to get taken.

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I truly feel that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the lives of those people. - Mary Calderone

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