Father's Day

Menstuff® has compiled information on the issue of Father's Day. Photo above is by Bob Willoughby from The Family of Children.

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FATHER'S DAY SPECIALS
CD
CD
CD
CD
CD
VIDEO

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IMPORTANT BOOKS

Click on covers for more specific information.

COLUMNS

Bruce Linton
Ted Braude
Armin Brott
Tim Hartnett
Kathy Noll
Peter Baylies

Mark Brandenburg
Reena Sommer
John Hershey
Linda Nielsen
Independent Means
Mark Phillips


Louis C.K. on Father's Day

There are a few dads out there you might not think to acknowledge on Father’s Day. Here are a few who go the extra nautical mile for their offspring: seahorses, reef damselfish, and believe it or not, sea spiders.

Seahorse dads are famous for holding their young in a pouch until they are big enough to pop out and motor away. Elsewhere on a coral reef, damselfish males do the housekeeping needed to make a nest. After the females lay their eggs, the males guard them and keep them clean until they hatch. Sea spiders, an odd group with leggy animals the size of a dime, attach sacs of eggs to the dad's legs, where the embryos grow until ready to be released.

And there are more heroic dads to be discovered under the sea. All these creatures play a role in keeping our oceans healthy, and while we recognize some of these marine dads on Father’s Day, it’s important to ensure they are with us next year and for years to come.

On Fathers' Day, we get a chance to acknowledge the father figures in our lives -- for the pouch they gave us when we needed it -- and now perhaps give them a little something in return.

*     *     *

Be a Dad - A moment here, a moment there:

Louis C.K. on Father's Day
ESPN "Highlights"
Cheerleading Pop

Be an Adoptive Dad:

Recorded Card
Forgotten Lunch
BBQ
Paintball
*     *     *

There are more collect calls made on Father's Day than any other day of the year. - AT&T. (Why don't you call your dad and foot the bill.)

Give Fathers a Break
Father's Day Presence
A New Kind of Family
Do It For Dad!
Top 10 Celebrity Dads
Saving Each Other's Lives
Father's Day - Awareness
A Teddy Bear's Adventure at the Dump
The dark side of dad
Father's Day Flicks: 50+ films dads want to share with their kids (More)
Will History Repeat Itself? You Might Change It!
Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2001
Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2000
Recognition of Mother's Day vs. Father's Day
"Happy Father's Day, Dad!"
Fathers' Forum: A support group for dads
Forget the tie! Father’s Day Presence

A Gift Beyond

Father's Day 1999
Mother's Day 1870
The Mothers of Father's Day
The 5 Scariest Moms in History
Happy "Bad Father's" Day says the Fox Television Channel
Father’s Day or Demonize the Father Day?
Snippets
Greeting Cards
Newsbytes:

Related Issues: Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, Adolescence, kidstuff, children,  fathers, fathers & sons, fathers & daughters, single fathers, step fathers, military fathers and fathers stories

Snippets


Here is some information comparing the two holidays:

Happy Father's Day, anyway, dad!

Letter to a Fatherless Daughter


What do I say to someone whose heart has been literally ripped out of the cavity of her chest? What can I say to ease the deep pain of a shattered heart -- a pain that reverberates through your soul -- a pain that greets you every morning when you wake up? The deep hurt that was inflicted upon you was unintentional. There are two people in pain. You and your Father.

Every daughter wants and needs to hear their Father whisper, "I love you!" -- three words that affirm her. . . three words that tell her she matters. Had you heard those words from him during your journey from childhood to womanhood, it would have made a positive impact upon your life. Every Father wants to be in his daughter's life. The decisions and mistakes that your Father made robbed him of the chance to love and care for you. He is wrestling with the decisions and mistakes he made as a young man. He is wrestling with the fact that he was not there to hear you talk about your first day at school, to plan birthday parties for you and watch you blow out the candles on your birthday cakes, and to watch you blossom into the beautiful woman that you have become. And yes, you are beautiful. Beauty is within, not without. Circumstances and decisions beyond your control and which you had nothing to do with, prevented him from telling you how much he loved you and from affirming you.

But that was the past. Let's talk about NOW . . . TODAY. If you think your Father does not think about you ... does not love you . . . does not recognize your existence, you are wrong. I understand that you cannot see or believe this. Your Father loves you and cares about you deeply. And when he thinks and speaks about you, his eyes sparkle, and a smile illuminates his face. So, why doesn't he show it? Why does he act as if you don't exist? Why is he pushing you away? Because he does not know how to tell you that he loves you and cares about you deeply. Your Father wants to be a part of your life, he just does not know how to do that. You will have to teach him how to do that.

While you and your Father cannot change the past, the two of you can do something about the present and the future. I know that you are hurting, but you must find it within your heart to forgive him. Forgiveness is not about him, it is about YOU. Forgiveness is your path to healing . . . to fulfilling your destiny on this earth . . . and to being the vibrant, brilliant, and beautiful person that you truly are. Forgiveness is the path to helping your Father become a part of your life -- something that you desperately need and want.

There is a void in your life and in your Father's life. He needs you just as much as you need him. Find him -- send him an e-mail, call him -- tell him that you forgive him . . . that you love him . . . that you need him . . . and that he needs you. If he does not answer, don't pull away. Continue to shower him with telephone calls, voice mail messages, text messages, e-mail messages, and TWEETs that tell him: "Dad, I forgive you. I love you. I need you. I am here for you."
Source: Diane A. Sears, United States Coordinator of International Men's Day and author of In Search of Fatherhood - eMail

Father's Day Flicks: 50+ films dads want to share with their kids


THE TREE OF LIFE (2011) In this spiritual, lyrical drama directed by Terrence Malick, middle-aged Jack (Sean Penn) recalls his childhood and his relationships with his stern father (Brad Pitt) and loving mother, while his memories are contrasted with scenes of the origins of the universe and a time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (1989) Indy (Harrison Ford) and his father (Sean Connery) seek the Holy Grail while contending with an alluring undercover Nazi agent.

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (2006) Will Smith received an Oscar nomination for his passionate performance in this inspirational, fact-based story of a struggling salesman who becomes an unpaid intern with a prestigious brokerage firm after he and his young son become homeless.

FIELD OF DREAMS (1989) A struggling Iowa farmer (Kevin Costner) obeys a mysterious voice in his cornfield that tells him to replace part of his crop with a baseball diamond resulting in the magical meeting of baseball heroes from the past. Mystical forces are at play here as ghosts of other sorts are confronted.

MEET THE PARENTS (2000) A male nurse (Ben Stiller) visits his girlfriend's family with the intent of asking her dad (Robert De Niro) for her hand in marriage. Not so easy. Her father turns out to be a very protective, very intimidating, very suspicious ex-CIA agent.

HOOK (1991) A workaholic yuppie lawyer (Robin Williams) remembers he was once Peter Pan after Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) kidnaps his children. This forces the miserable man to rediscover his inner-child while returning to Neverland to rescue them and become a better father.

KRAMER VS. KRAMER (1979) A woman (Meryl Streep) who walked out on her husband (Dustin Hoffman) and child returns to reclaim her son in a custody battle. The film shows how a recently divorced man learns to take care of his son on his own.

LATE SPRING (1949) The film is a fragile tale of a young woman (Setsuko Hara), slightly older than marrying age in traditional Japanese society, who lives a tranquil life with her widowed father (Chishu Ryu). The father begins to worry that his beloved daughter may never leave him and thus spoil her chances for a happy life. After she refuses a proposed husband, the father tricks her by pretending to remarry. The daughter eventually marries in order to leave her father alone with his new wife, and the father who in reality had no intention of marrying, is left alone.

THE PATRIOT (2000) Director Roland Emmerich went from "Independence Day" to the war for independence with this sweeping epic about a pacifist (Mel Gibson) who takes up arms against the British in 1776 South Carolina. Gibson is sensational as Benjamin Martin, who seeks an "alternative to war" — until a British officer guns down his teenage son.

FATHER AND SON (2003) Alexander Sokurov directed this moody and stylized story of a middle-aged widower and retired officer (Andrey Shchetinin) and his troubled relationship with his son (Aleksey Neymyshev), an 18-year-old military cadet.

JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996) Arnold Schwarzenegger shows his lighter side in this jolly Yuletide comedy. He plays an overworked father who scrambles to find the perfect gift for his son on Christmas Eve.

DADDY DAY CARE (2003) After losing their jobs, two men decide to become stay-at-home dads, and get into the child-sitting business after hearing about the sorry state of quality child care in their neighborhood.

MR. HOLLAND’S OPUS (1995) A frustrated music composer (Richard Dreyfuss) finds his calling in teaching while raising a hearing-impaired son.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (1997) Roberto Benigni's Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film plays like two movies: a slapstick comedy and a heartfelt drama. Benigni plays an Italian Jew whose family is taken to a concentration camp, where he concocts a game to protect his young son.

IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY (2003) The film is about three generations of an affluent New York clan trying to reconcile their differences. Real-life father and son Kirk and Michael Douglas star in this touching drama. Michael's son Cameron and Kirk's first wife, Diana, are also in the cast.

CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN (2003) Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt star in this charming, family-friendly comedy about ambitious Midwestern parents trying to balance their burgeoning careers with their 12 kids.

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (2012) Sean (Josh Hutcherson) and his stepfather Hank (Dwayne Johnson) travel to a lost island with strange creatures and untold treasures after receiving a cryptic distress signal in this exciting sequel to 2008's "Journey to the Center of the Earth." Along with a helicopter pilot and his daughter, they race to rescue the sole inhabitant as a massive tidal wave threatens to destroy the island.

THE LION KING (1994) Simba the Lion is deluded that he caused the death of his father, thereby, finding it difficult to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and his future role as king of the jungle.

THE GAME PLAN (2007) In this winning comedy, the carefree life of a superstar bachelor quarterback (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) is disrupted when he discovers that he has an eight-year-old daughter (Madison Pettis). She turns up on his doorstep and soon he's scrambling to fit his football career in with her ballet lessons and other girly pastimes.

THAT'S MY BOY (2012) During his teens, Donny (Adam Sandler) fathered a son, Todd (Andy Samberg) and raised him as a single parent until Todd's 18th birthday. After years of no contact between the two, Donny reappears at Todd’s wedding and all hell breaks loose.

DEFINITELY, MAYBE (2008) Ryan Reynolds stars in this funny and refreshingly grown-up "romantic mystery" from writer-director Adam Brooks. Reynolds plays a jaded Manhattan ad exec who tells his 10-year-old daughter (Abigail Breslin) how he met her mother.

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001) In this delightfully offbeat comedy about an eccentric New York family, the clan's estranged patriarch (Gene Hackman) finds out his ex-wife (Anjelica Huston) has plans to remarry, and tries to finagle his way back into their lives by claiming he's dying. Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Luke Wilson, Danny Glover and Owen Wilson co-star; Wes Anderson directed.

WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005) The special effects are outstanding in Steven Spielberg's ripping and gripping retelling of H.G. Wells' 1898 sci-fi classic. Tom Cruise stars as a divorced father trying to find a safe haven for himself and his two children after aliens invade Earth, intent on destroying it and all who live there. Gene Barry and Ann Robinson, the stars of the 1953 film version, play the grandparents. Morgan Freeman is the narrator.

THE DESCENDANTS (2011) In this wry, poignant drama, a middle-aged man (George Clooney) discovers that his comatose wife was having an affair, and he sets off with his two daughters to confront her lover before she dies.

TAKEN (2008) Spellbinding suspense thriller starring Liam Neeson as an ex-CIA agent who turns Paris upside down when his teenage daughter (Maggie Grace) is abducted by members of a sex-trade gang. He employs his "very particular set of skills" in tracking her down, becoming a nightmarish thorn in the side of the dastardly thugs responsible.

GLADIATOR (2000) Thrilling action and Russell Crowe's Oscar-winning performance drive the film which is the story of a Roman general who is enslaved and forced to become a gladiator after he clashes with the emperor's bloodthirsty son.

THREE MEN AND A BABY (1987) Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson play fathers to an infant left at their door in this remake of a 1985 French farce, directed by Leonard Nimoy.

PLAYING FOR KEEPS (2012) An ex-soccer star, who's fallen on hard times, attempts to start coaching his son’s soccer team in order to improve his relationship with his family.

CADDYSHACK (1980) Starring Michael O'Keefe, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and Ted Knight, this comedy classic about hijinks at a posh country club also memorably features a destructive dancing gopher.

THE BICYCLE THIEF (1948) In the poverty and chaos following World War II, an Italian father searches desperately for his stolen bicycle, the single object that he needs to support his young family.

I AM SAM (2001) A mentally challenged man (Sean Penn) fights for custody of his daughter (Dakota Fanning) when the state tries to place her in a foster home.

MRS. DOUBTFIRE (1993) A divorced dad poses as a British nanny to see his kids, and learns how to be a good parent. Meanwhile, his ex-wife's new boyfriend enters the picture.

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (2006) This uproarious road comedy stars Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette as parents taking their spunky seven-year-old daughter (played with adorable charm by Abigail Breslin) and their dysfunctional family from New Mexico to California for a kiddie beauty pageant.

OCTOBER SKY (1999) It's 1957, and the space race has captured the imagination of young Homer Hickam (Jake Gyllenhaal), a coal miner's son who dreams of escaping from his small West Virginia town. With three friends, Homer begins experimenting with rockets — an activity that displeases his stern father (Chris Cooper).

FATHER OF THE BRIDE (1991) In this remake of the 1950 comedy, a frazzled shoe executive tries to cope with the financial and emotional costs of his only daughter's impending marriage while also dealing with an eccentric wedding coordinator.

SOMEWHERE (2010) In this touching, delicate drama, a bored movie star (Stephen Dorff) puts a temporary halt to his life of endless hedonism in order to spend time with his 11-year-old daughter when her mother leaves her in his care. As the two reconnect, he is forced to reassess his sordid lifestyle.

CINDERELLA MAN (2005) Forced to fight while injured to support his family, the film, ranking up there with great boxing epics like "Rocky" and "Raging Bull," is a knockout sports bio of Depression-era heavyweight Jim Braddock (played with compassion and brio by Russell Crowe).

BEGINNERS (2010) In this uplifting comedy-drama, Oliver (Ewan McGregor) deals with his 75-year-old father Hal's announcement that he's gay and has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He learns about life and love from Hal before his dad passes away.

NEBRASKA (2013) In this powerful road-trip drama, a devoted son drives his curmudgeonly father from Billings, Montana, to Lincoln, Nebraska, to collect a US $1 million sweepstakes prize that the dad claims to have won.

FINDING NEMO (2003) The film is about a clown fish who teams up with a ditzy blue tang to search for his missing son. This witty, sweet and beautifully animated undersea adventure was produced by Disney and Pixar Studios.

AT ANY PRICE (2012) In this emotionally charged family drama, the son (Zac Efron) of a powerful farming magnate (Dennis Quaid) endeavors to become a professional race-car driver as the family business starts to buckle under the weight of an intense investigation.

FOOTNOTE (2011) In this compelling psychological drama, anti-establishment professor Eliezer (Shlomo Bar-Abba) and his approval-seeking son, Uriel (Lior Ashkenazi), find themselves locked in a heated competition when Eliezer wins a prestigious award.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962) In the masterful film version of the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, Gregory Peck plays lawyer Atticus Finch, who agrees to defend a black man accused of rape. The trial and the town's prejudice are seen through Finch's daughter Scout's eyes.

THE GODFATHER (1972) Based on a novel by Mario Puzo, this is a chilling portrait of a Sicilian family's rise and near fall from power in America and the passage of rites from father to son.

WE BOUGHT A ZOO (2011) Cameron Crowe cowrote and directed this quirky comedy-drama based on the true story of Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon), a discontent English widower who buys and renovates a struggling zoo. This adaptation moves the plot to the U.S., with Benjamin a distraught reporter who has a fractured relationship with his children after his wife's passing. But Benjamin and his family finally come together as they struggle to restore the dilapidated zoo.

JURASSIC PARK (1993) Genetically engineered dinosaurs run amok on a remote island in this special-effects extravaganza. It's up to a paleontologist, a paleobotanist and a mathematician to outmaneuver the deadly beasts and find their way back to civilization.

BOYZ N THE HOOD (1991) The tale of three teens growing up in a tough L.A. neighborhood: one lives for sports; another for crime; and the last learns from his father (Laurence Fishburne) about strength of character and being responsible.

BIG FISH (2003) Director Tim Burton brings imagination and style to this heartwarming fantasy about a dying Southern raconteur (Albert Finney) and his estranged son (Billy Crudup), who has been alienated by his tall tales.

FATHER'S DAY (1997) Billy Crystal and Robin Williams play strangers who team up to look for the runaway son of a woman they both dated. She claims that one of them fathered the boy.

ON GOLDEN POND (1981) Oscars went to Henry Fonda, Katharine Hepburn and Ernest Thompson (who adapted his play) for this heartwarming story of an elderly couple, Ethel (Katharine Hepburn) and Norman (Henry Fonda), and their estranged daughter Chelsea (Jane Fonda).
Source: www.msn.com/en-us/movies/gallery/movies-to-watch-with-your-dad/ss-BBldZdp#image=1

The dark side of dad


'I wished he would die. And then he did'

Tomorrow I'll think fondly of Dad. Which is odd, because I hated him when he was alive.

Dad was an angry, hard-swearing, tattooed man's man. He'd been an Alaska bush pilot, but by the time I came along, he was a California travelling salesman, drinking himself to death. When I was two he got drunk and threw my empty crib across the bedroom. When I was 12, he challenged my brother to a fist fight. He routinely shouted at us in front of our friends. By the time I was 13, I wished he would die.

And then he did. I thought that my wish had killed him, and for the longest time I couldn't forgive myself. I was scared to death I would damage someone else.

But four decades on, I've forgiven myself for hating him. More difficult, I've somehow forgiven myself for the Dad-like fury I inflicted on my own family.

To my surprise, as I became kinder to myself, I formed a more rounded picture of Dad. His anger had its reasons. His father died young, leaving him with a stepfather who favoured his own kids. When Dad was 14, his preacher grandfather hauled him in front of the congregation and viciously denounced him for teaching other kids the Charleston.

Humiliated, Dad ran away from home and joined the carnival, growing up on the road with hardened carnies. In middle age, his sales job was crushing. He was a brilliant man with a Grade 8 education, reduced to knocking on doors and imploring merchants to buy advertising promotions like imprinted pens and squeeze coin purses.

But Dad's biggest problem was that he never got in touch with his own pain, never learned how to process his feelings. Like many men, he believed the lie that "Big boys don't cry," so he refused to seek out friends and instead turned his pain into anger.

The anger kept shameful sorrow at bay. Swigging vodka straight from the bottle, he forced us to cry his tears.

This was the Dad I hated. But a funny thing happened after I forgave him. A different Dad returned from the shadows, borne by a flood of memory. I found myself recalling the times when he didn't drink:

It was evening at the river. I was five, and Dad was still young and strong. We were camping in the California Coast Range. Although I couldn't swim, I had wandered down to the river after dinner and paddled an inner tube out to the middle of the big dark pool. I lay back in the inner tube, gazing at the cliff that loomed above on the other side of the water.

Suddenly I slipped through the middle of the tube, and I was in the water, struggling. I sank into the cold dark water. As I resurfaced, I could see Dad running down the beach, tearing off his shoes and plunging powerfully into the river. Then I was under again, swallowing cold water, sinking into blackness ...

Then I felt myself being pushed powerfully to the surface, as Dad rose like a sea lion below me. I gasped the air, and was saved.

But he had swallowed water, too, and began to cough and struggle himself. "Dad!" I cried in a panic. He sank below me, and I again fell back into the black waters, gulping and sputtering, stepping on his head. As we sank, the murky yellow light of the world receded into darkness, with no sound but my thundering heartbeat.

I felt his hands grip my calves and place my feet firmly on his shoulders. Then, as in the game we'd often played, he drifted down and bounced back up from the river bottom, thrusting me to the surface. And then his tattooed arm was around my chest, towing me to safety. Keeping my face above the water, he coughed, then murmured, "It's OK, Cal. It's OK."

Finally we staggered on to the sandy beach. As I stood gasping, shivering and crying, he hugged me to his heaving chest. Then he went to the trailer to get a towel and wrapped it around me.

Later, as he heated hot chocolate on the Coleman stove he did the unusual -- he sat me on his lap. After a while, he turned the Giants game on the radio, and we sipped hot chocolate while the sun sank behind the cliff.

At the end of his life, I think Dad, like me, had forgotten that day. He forgot his goodness. I wish that, when he ruminated on his failures, he had been able to remember the good things. I wish that, when he thought of his years of unemployment, his bankruptcy, the jalopies he drove, his failed marriages, his destructive anger, that he had been able to recall that day on the river. Most of all, I wish he'd had a kind father to remind him of the good things about himself -- his sense of humour, his charm, his ability to spin a story for a crowd, his compassion for the unfortunate, his intelligence, his ability to make a day's outing with a young boy into an exciting adventure.

I wish someone had told him that he did not have to be a Man of Steel, that it was OK to be sad. I wish he had understood that he was no different from any of us, a mixture of good and bad. I wish he had realized that he could be forgiven, and that he could forgive.

The fact was, he didn't have to die alone in the Country of Resentment. There was room for him in the Country of Love. -
Source: Calvin Sandborn is a professor of environmental law and the legal director of the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic. He is the author of Becoming the Kind Father: A Son's Journey.

Will History Repeat Itself? You Might Change It!


In 2000, we tracked some 35 newspapers including 20 of the top 25 markets in the US and USA Today. A number of these newspapers took part of that space for father's with a comparison often titled "How Does Dad Stack Up?" With a subtitle "Do dads get short shrift on Father's Day?" Here's a comparison of how moms and dads fare on their days of honor:

What we'll spend on Dad: $90 million. On Mom $105 million (+14%)

How many cards we'll send: Dad 95 million. Mom: 150 million (I don't think they included spending on cards or both parents are getting pretty cheap cards and nothing else. (+37%)

Percentage of adults who eat out on...Father's Day: 23%; Mother's Day: 38%. (+39%)

Calls on: Father's Day: 140 million+; Mother's Day 160 million+ (+13%)

Rank in terms of flowers sent: Father's Day: 10th; Mother's Day: 3rd

Number of Amazon.com books whose titles contain: "Father": 3,289; "Mother": 5,585 (+41%)

None of those stories covered how those very newspapers treat father's with less significance than mother's in their own newspapers. In 2000, these newspapers gave Mother's Day 23% more stories and over 40% more space than Father's Day stories. Check out the comparisons. Maybe you're newspaper is represented and you could point out this disparage before they lock up their Father's Day edition. Just ask them "How Do Dads Stack Up in Your Newspaper?"

Sources: National Retail Federation; Hallmark Cards; National Restaurant Association; AT&T; Society of American Florists; Amazon.com

Recognition of Mother's Day vs. Father's Day


Mother's Day was first proclaimed in Boston in 1870 by Julia Ward Howe, a Unitarian. The proclamation was a rallying call for peace. It was observed in 1907 at the request of Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, PA who asked her church to hold service in memory of all mothers on the anniversary of her mother's death. It became a Presidential Proclamation in perpetuity on May 8, 1914 always issued for the second Sunday in May. Father's Day occurred first on June 19, 1910, 40 years later at the request of Sonora Smart (Mrs. John B) Dodd of Spokane, WA. It was proclaimed for that date by the mayor of Spokane and recognized by the governor of Washington. The idea was publicly supported by President Calvin Coolidge in 1924, but did not received a Presidential Proclaimed until 1966, and then only for that year. It was assured annual recognition by President Proclamation on April 24, 1972, 58 years after the presidential proclamation for Mother's Day and 102 years after the first recognition of Mother's Day. It remains the only Presidential Proclamation directed to the benefit of men while there are nine different Presidential Proclamation's for the benefit of women. Ever wonder why all of the anti-father and anti-male laws and legal decisions are going into effect nationally and locally. Think about it!  What have you, as a man, actively done to make a difference? Women had to push for us in this and many other cases. But what about all the other areas of a man's life that aren't receiving any attention. Life span, work safety. Protection from violence. Protection from false allegations. Protection from unfair custody and child support laws. Protecting our sons from genital mutilation. And, of course, I could go on. Do something before you regret ending up on the short end of the stick.
 

Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2000 (5/14/00 and 6/18/00)


A number of circumstances lead to my making a cross country trip in a rental car on Mother's Day (2000). As I stopped along the way, I picked up the local Sunday newspapers. I became curious how the editorial departments cover Mother's Day and how that might differ from their Father's Day coverage. If my memory services me, the San Francisco Chronicle over the years would write positive stories for Mother's Day and Father's Day usually brought out the "Dead Beat Dads" or distant dads, or violent dads stories. It will be interesting to see if this is just a bias I have created from the work I do here, or if the media is still treating mother's and father's differently.

In order to cover small as well as large cities around the U.S., here's a list of the local papers from our 20 largest cities plus five papers from the next 80 largest cities and 5 from cities smaller than the top 100 plus 1 national newspaper. I'm told we may have as much as four weeks before we get some of the issues so we will add our analysis as the issues come in. You can help. Particularly with Mother's Day issue from the Atlanta Constitution and St. Louis Post Dispatch. From the broadcast side, you would think a news organization like CNN would be better. However, in checking out their Father's Day site, it hasn't been updated since June, 1996.

This comparison will be updated as missing editions arrive. As of 7/4/00 we have 22 complete comparisons of a possible 35.

LEGEND:  A - Access; AL - Ann Landers; BK - Book Reviews; C- Comics; DA - Dear Abby; F - Father's Day Issue; FPB - Front Page Banner; FPS - Front Page Story; - Mother's Day Issue; MM - Miss Manners; MMM - Million Mom March; P - Parade Magazine; TA - Total number of articles (excluding blurbs and book reviews); U - USA Today Weekend Magazine. Inches - Total inches of FPS, FPB and Plus articles. TA - Total Articles excluding FPB, A, AL, BR, C, DA, MM, P, and U. NA - Issue not available.

Section

Mother's Day
Father's Day

Access Magazine

Not
Not

Anne Landers

45"
28-42"

Dear Abby

18"
38"

Miss Manners

Not
Not

Parade Magazine

304"
223"

USA Today Magazine

97"
42"

Comics (Yes)

31
29

Comics (No)

68
73

Comics Not Published

10
10

Grand Total (20 direct newspaper comparisons to date)

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's

49
19
80
-6
10861
129

F - Avg

2.45
.95
4
.3
543
6,45

Mother's

53
31
106
2
15212
159

M - Avg

2.65
1.55
5
.1
761
7.95

M to F

+8%
+63%
+25%
-67%
+40%
+23%

Atlanta Constitution

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
6
0
912
8

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Boston Globe

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

1
0
2
0
568
3

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Casper Star Tribune

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
1
0
119
3

Mother's Day

1
0
3
0
547
4

Cheyenne Tribune-Eagle

C DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

3
0
5
0
373
8

Mother's Day

1
0
3
0
249
4

Chicago Tribune

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

5
4
3
0
721
8

Cleveland Plain Dealer

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
5
1
786
7

Mother's Day

2
0
8
0
677
10

Dallas Morning News

AL DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

1
2
12
0
1493
13

Denver Post

AL C

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

1
1
9
0
944
10

Denver Rocky Mountain News

C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

4
3
10
0
2179
14

Detroit Free Press

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Houston Chronicle

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

5
0`
6
1
994
11

Mother's Day

5
1
10
0
1041
15

Kansas City Star

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

7
2
3
0
1597
10

Lincoln Journal Star

AL C U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
3
0
458
5

Mother's Day

5
2
3
0
519
8

Los Angeles Times

AL DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
3
0
598
9

Mother's Day

2
2
6
0
1309
8

Marin Independent Journal

AL C U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
5
0
418
7

Mother's Day

2
0
2
0
155
4

Miami Herald

AL C

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
5
3
469
7

Mother's Day

2
1
8
1
875
10

Minneapolis Star Tribune

A AL C DA U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

5
2
4
0
1002
9

Mother's Day

2
7
8
0
900
10

New York Daily News

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

New York Post

DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
5
1
395
5

Mother's Day

0
2
12
1
785
12

New York Times

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
3
0
127
3

Mother's Day

1
2
6
0
536
7

Omaha World-Herald

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
1
2
0
386
4

Mother's Day

1
1
4
0
429
5

Philadelphia Inquirer

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Phoenix Arizona Republic

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

3
1
10
0
555
13

Mother's Day

1
1
3
0
374
4

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

C P

****FPS****
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

1
1
5
1
770
6

Mother's Day

3
1
6
0
1001
9

Portland Oregonian

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2-3
3
5
0
787
7-8

Mother's Day

2
1
3
0
715
5

St. Louis Post Dispatch

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
7
1
1065"
9

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Salt Lake City Tribune

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

3
0
3
0
367
6

San Diego Union-Tribune

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
6
0
642
8

Mother's Day

2
0
2
0
812
4

San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle

AL C DA P U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
3
0
759
9

Mother's Day

5
2
8
0
1153
13

San Jose Mercury News

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
2
0
750
4

Mother's Day

5
1
5
0
1130
10

Santa Barbara News Press

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

4
1
3
0
431
7

Mother's Day

3
2
6
0
665
9

Seattle Times

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
6
0
1121
8

Mother's Day

5
5
8-10
0
1987
13-15

Sparks Tribune

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

2
1
0
0
578
2

USA Today

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
1-2
2
0
42
2

Mother's Day

7
2
2
0
352
9

Washington Post

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
2
0
1193
8

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Top 20 Metro Areas

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

F

0
0
0
0
0
0

F - Avg

0
0
0
0
0
0

M

0
0
0
0
0
0

M - Ave

0
0
0
0
0
0

M to F

%
%
%
%
%
%

A - Access - America's Guide to the Internet. Not, Not.

AL - Ann Landers: M: Two letters, one acknowledging all the work mothers do while putting down the father for not doing anything. The other about an adopted daughter who sincerely thanks her birth parents, whoever they are, who being responsible enough to see that she has a chance for a better life. F: Ann Landers printed a gracious letter from a former wife and Ann acknowledged this and added her own ungracious bit "Never mind that the SOB was not a model husband or father." M = 45"; F = 28"-42"

DA - Dear Abby:  M:  Lift your glasses high in honor of all mothers. F: Dad: A scratch of whiskers to fishing at sunrise. M: 18", F 38"

MM - Miss Manners: Not, Not

P - Parade Magazine:  M: Front cover with Amy Brenneman, "Thanks Mom" continued inside with "Mom Told Me Stories." 1 1/2 p "Trying to Have a Baby?" F:  Al Usner Jr. 2 p "From Father to Son" plus snippet "This Seaman Is a Family Man: He's Father f the Year. and Kids Before Cash" on dads wanting more time with kids versus more money. M = 304": F = 223".

U - USA Today magazine. M: "Money Smart: Can You Afford to Stay at Home? (76") Blowing Kisses" (21") F: "Kathy Mattea sings dad's praises" (23"), Lorrie catches up with Tim McGraw" (19") M 97", F 42"

Comics:

Want to help?  If we don't have your local newspaper listed above, get ahold of a complete copy for Sunday, June 18, 2000 (Father's Day). Go through each section: front page, leisure, sports, editorial, Ann Landers, everywhere they might do a story on Fathers. Cut them out and mail them to us at: The National Men's Resource Center, PO Box 800, San Anselmo, CA 94979. Or, you might like to e-mail a short review of each story (probably under 50 words each) giving the title and essence of the story along with the name of the newspaper, to fathersday@menstuff.org. Then, if you can find the Sunday paper for May 14, 2000 (Mother's Day), do the same thing for any and all stories about Mothers and send it to mothersday@menstuff.org. A good place to start looking is your local library. And, if you copy the stories and send them to us, we'll do the analysis and publish the findings above. Thank!

Newsbytes


Do Fathers Talk with Their Kids?


National Fatherhood Initiative, a nonprofit organization, found that the typical working father spends just 12 minutes a weekday in one-on-one conversation with his children. This means that by the time most children reach six, they will have spent more time watching television than they will spend during their entire lifetimes talking to their father! How does that sound?

Happy Father's Day


What does Father's Day mean to you? Maybe a homemade card, a new tie, or the chance to sit back and relax as your kids volunteer to do all the chores they normally dread. But how did it all begin? Very simply: with one daughter who wanted to honor the father she loved.
Source: kidshealth.org/parent/misc/fathers_day_banner.html

Happy "Bad Father's" Day says the Fox Television Channel


A Fox Television Special aired on Father's Day, June 16, 1998 called "Bad Dads". It was a powerful documentary featuring an extraordinary parenting program which is having remarkable success in turning "bad dads" into responsible, caring fathers. And, while I applaud such a film, it's sad that good fathers have to once again watch the press look at the negative fathers on their day. When was the last time you saw a "Bad Mom" special on Mother's Day. And, NOW's South Carolina Chapter making Sue Smith Woman of the Year, is not quite what I was thinking.

FREE - Father's Day T-Shirt Designs


Is your Dad your superhero? Or is he the struggling chef of the family? Either way, we have the perfect design for the special Dad in your house with these new designs from Hanes T-ShirtMaker! (for use with Hanes T-ShirtMaker software) at www.hanes2u.com click on "It's Time To Celebrate DADS!"

A Gift Beyond


"If your dad is one of those who make engine sounds as he's taking you and your friends to school, why not treat him to a Father's Day driving experience he won't forget?" asks Larry Webster, Car and Driver magazine's technical director. "You won't believe what it's possible to do in a car." Webster is a professional driver who has tested everything from the hottest exotic to the latest sedan. Auto aficionados can meet and race against Webster and the rest of the Car and Driver crew July 23-24 at the magazine's 50th anniversary party, open to the public at Indianapolis Raceway park (caranddriver.com/50). Webster shares with USA Today's Shawn Sell some adrenaline-boosting driving/racing schools. See "Racing Schools"

Father's Day Eve - Vigil for lost fathers; night of mourning and healing

Father's Day - A time to give love and thanks to all fathers, grand fathers, great grand fathers; day for all fathers to celebrate fatherhood and contemplate their sacred duty to provide for the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs of their children and the other children of this world.

For all sexually active men who didn't use condoms - Happy Father's Day



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