Menstuff® is actively compiling information, books and resources on the issue of fathers and sons.
Things Every Dad Should Teach His Son
Not seeing your father when you are small, never being with him, having a remote father, a workaholic father, is an injury - Robert Bly. Bly's concise statement is so pertinent to those of us with work addictions. We know we repeat various behaviors that we learned from our fathers - and that, as Bly states, injures us. If we are deprived of love, warmth, and a connection with our fathers, we are bound to repeat that behavior - we see value only in work. We saw our father work ceaselessly, so we believe deeply that we have no value unless we immerse ourselves in the same way. I do not want to pass along the legacy of the workaholic to my son. I will be accessible and demonstrate my love to him. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much
As a dad, you're a role model for your son. You show him
how to be a man -- and how not to be. "Your son's
masculinity will be shaped by how involved you are,"
confirms psychologist Michael J. Diamond, PhD, author of My
Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other
Throughout Their Lives.
A toy is a toy is a toy. It's really that simple.
"Now, how do you think a dad feels when his son wants to get this?"
That's the question YouTuber and proud dad Mikki Willis asked viewers, while holding a mermaid doll in a video posted online on Aug. 23, 2015, his son, Azai, trying not to smile in the background.
Some dads wouldn't be cool with their sons playing with Little Mermaid dolls or, you know, playing with dolls at all. But after a few chuckles, both Willis and Azai yell happily, "Yeah!"
Willis decided to support his son's decision to get whatever toy he wanted, without letting gender stereotyping get in the way. And judging by the outpouring of support in the video's comments section he's not alone in encouraging his son to like what he likes, stereotypes be damned.
The video which Willis captured after a trip to the toy store for Azai to swap out one of his birthday presents is gathering steam online. In just about two days, it's already garnered more than 236,000 views.
I'd say that's no coincidence, seeing as it touches on one very hot topic.
Gender stereotyping in toys is one issue making waves right now.
Just this month, retail giant Target announced it was phasing out boy-girl references throughout its stores in sections where "suggesting products by gender is unnecessary," such as toys, kids' bedding, and entertainment.
"There is no 'boy side' or 'girl side' to childhood," Melissa Atkins Wardy, a children's retail expert and business owner, told Upworthy in support of Target's decision. "Why would we tell a kid they can't like cars or pirates or fairies or pink? Go for it, kid."
Willis would agree why limit what toys his son should and should not enjoy?
Willis explained that he wasn't at all surprised when Azai selected the mermaid toy.
"Many are asking me, 'How did you feel the moment Azai
chose that doll?'" he wrote in the video's description. "The
honest answer is, it didn't surprise me at all. Azai is
equally fascinated by princesses and robots."
If you and/or your kids like to wear "No Fear" clothing, we'd like you think about it. The Samurai knows fear. If he didn't he might make a dumb mistake that would lead to his unnecessary deaf. We challenge those who want to teach our children not to feel fear. It's more than just a marketing campaign for a clothing line. It's an effort, knowlingly or unknowingly, to desensitize children so that they can be manipulated into doing things against their inherent nature. Children who are encouraged not to feel all feelings develop into dysfunctional adults.
It all started for me at a major wrestling championship in Southern California. There were lots of "No-fear" t-shirts and caps around. The air-brusher was busy putting "No Fear" on the back of event t-shirts along with cartoon bulldogs with fangs and puffed out muscles and other such images. Many of the end users were thin, small muscled boys getting ready to "be tough". Well, I decided to have my own t-shirt designed and wear it for the remainder of the event. It read, "No Fear, No Tears, Die Numb." I had a number of parents and young wrestlers thank me for reminding them about the value and importance of fear - how ignoring it or pushing it out of the way can create unnecessary dangers. How the great Samari know fear and don't hide form it but bring it out in front, put it on the end of their sword, and cut with it. The design we offer is an improvement on the original air-brushed design. From there, I designed a second one to change the emphasis from "No Fear" to "Know Fear". You can down-load the individual design for the back of a t-shirt or a whole sheet of smaller logos that you can print-out, cut up into individual iron-ons to put on the front of a t-shirt where a breast pocket would go and give the others to friends to do the same. We also offer a FREE 6 3/4 x 3" "Know Fear" bumper sticker. Send a SASE to: The National Men's Resource Center, PO Box 800, San Anselmo, CA 94979.
In the words of Hannah Arendt, "Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival." All feelings are good - fear, pain, sadness, joy and anger. It's the behaviors that we use to demonstrate the feelings that need to be looked out. For instance, anger is a feeling. Violence is not a feeling. It is a behavior. There are many other ways anger can be expressed that are healthy yet non-violent. So, it is the behaviors we need to work with. Think about it! And, make your t-shirt today!
If you have a son over 15 have him check this information out so he can learn this simple self exam for testicular cancer Side1 Side2. It is amoung the easiest cancers to cure when detected early, yet 700 young men will die from it this yeaer. A once-a-month simple self-examination can help catch this cancer at its early stage. This guide can be down-loaded in its entirity or you can send for a water-proff guide that can hang on your shower head at home or school. (The best time to examine yourself is while taking a shower or bath. The warm water casues the skin to relax, making the examination of the underlying tissue easier.) If you would like a monthly remind to do the exam, sign-up for our free service at: www.egroups.com/group/menstuff-testicular-exam. It could be a life saver.
Facts on Gangs: What every chitizen should know. Provides information on signs of possible gang involovement, how to protect your children, what you can do plus answers to the 7 most frequently asked questions. $3 each.
Safe Dating Guide: The body is special. In order to safeguard yourself, you must avoid high-risk situations. This is a guide to reduce dating risks, provides come-backs to common lines you may hear or say, and provides facts you should know about date rape. $3 each.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases Education Guide: This guide provides myths and facts about STDs, the cause and symptoms, diagnosis and treatement, and prevention information for the 10 major diseases. For anyone who is sexually active or thinking about becoming sexual. $3 each.
AIDS Education Guide: Includes the answers to the top 15 questions about AIDS plus Condom Do's and Don'ts. $3 each.
Sources: Books - 13th
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& sons, fathers-general;
tapes; Issues fathers
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custody, tv violence; and
Resources - fathers,
2. Teach him the right attitude toward women
3. Have a man-to-man conversation about love.
4. Teach him how to fight back.
5. Enrich his experience with new sensations.
6. Teach him male tricks.
7. Help him master domestic duties.
8. Help him to find his own view of the world.
To this day I can remember my father's voice singing over me in the stillness of the night. Carl G. Jung
During peace, sons bury their fathers. During war, fathers bury their sons. From the movie "J. Edgar"
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