Newsbytes - 2000

Menstuff® adds information on various issues weekly. We present a new issue each day at Today. See the list of issues for each month.

What is the media saying of concern to men? Menstuff® has taken excerpts from many periodicals and included our comments - good and bad alike. Here is the archive for 2000. See also 2003, 2002, 2001 and 1999. A click on the photo will often provide a larger photo or additional information regarding the topic.

A variety of current information is also available: Mediawatch, 2002 provides reviews the media's portrayal of men in advertising and the media. See 2001, also. For an index of these and additional stories, see 2002 and 2001.

After reviewing some of these topics, we encourage you to write the corporations and the government and give them your viewpoint. Action of the Week selects a particular action to take for the week. Change doesn't usually take place when only one complaint is received. If you want to be part of the solution, let them hear from you! Here's how. Updated 12/31/00.

City Pages | Free Times | LA Weekly | Nashville Scene
OC Weekly | Seattle Weekly | Village Voice

To Respond to Media's Portrayal of Men

Adolescence - Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, Speed boosts self-esteem for some male drivers
Early Puberty
AIDS - A Manly Aspiration: Avoid AIDS
Awareness - Just Dry Up and Blow Away
Binge Drinking - Students' definition of binge drinking depends on habits
Breast Cancer - In Men - Gasoline exposure increases risk of male breast cancer
Breast Cancer Kills Men Too
Male Breast Cancer is Rare, But It Does Occur
NFL Support Breast Cancer Research
Men and Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer self-exam - if you're a man 60+ and over-weight, consider signing up for our free monthly reminder
Thousands of Women Walked a Marathon in Their Bras
Children - Our Children Are Anxious -- And For No Good Reason
Injuries The Leading Cause of Death
A Call for a Boycott of All Simon & Schuster Products
Circumcision - Australian Men More Manly
Men Scarred by Circumcision
Pain Of Circumcision Creates Controversy
Day Care & Circumcision
Conference Hears Calls for Banning of Circumcision
Request for Help, Circumcision: Yes or No?
Day Care and Circumcision
Crime - Hate Crimes, By State
CRS - (Can't Remember S_ _ _)
Deafness - Hearing Loss
Depression - Job stress can cause depression
Mother's depression impacts child's health
One in five Americans depressed or unhappy
Researchers test implant used to ease depression
Therapy helps new moms deal with depression
Depression not linked to early signs of heart disease
Preschoolers can be depressed, study says
Anxiety doesn't make the heart grow sicker
Job stress can bring on the blues
How can I beat the winter blues?
Depression Affects Men Differently than Women
Disability - Paraplegic climber scales Mount Rainier
Divorce - Newly divorced are cautious about sexual partners
Men, Divorce and Suicide
Children & Divorce
Domestic ViolenceChildren and Domestic Violence
False image that men are violent, women passive, has negative effects
Drinking - Students' definition of binge drinking depends on habits
Eating Disorders - Male Anorexia: One million victims, ashamed and overlooked,
Girls' diets affect puberty, later disease risk
Fathers - Our children are anxious -- and for no good reason
So You're Going to be a Dad
Father Figures
Getting Down With Your Kids
Taking Your Kids Out of the U.S. (New rules)
FREE - Father's Day T-Shirt Designs
Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2000
Father's Day Snippets
Happy Mother's Day
Father's Stories - Somebody Special
Feelings - Satisfied Men Live Longer
Guns - Million Mom March
Health - How to Survive a Heart Attack When Alone
What's Wrong with My Penis?
Body Mass Index Calculator
How Long Will You Live Into The New Millenium?
Satisfied men live longer
Brain scan gives baby's-eye view of the world
Children's art reflects internal emotional world
Doctor says LASIK may be okay for children, too
Infant injuries spur high chair recall
New moms breast-feed with support from baby's dad
Nutrition lacking in pregnant teens and women
Scientists find gene possibly linked to autism
Short babies have higher adult blood pressure
Australian moms calming kids down with antihistamines
Liver Spots
Latest NIH Report a Setback for Men's Health
It's Time to End the Gender Gap in Health Care
Theme Issue on Men's Health
American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons Ignore Men :
The AAOS Confirms Our Suspicion
Hard-working women may be bad for your health
Most Smokers Can't Collect Social Security
Hepatitis - At Home Blood Tests
Humor - Why English is Hard to Learn
Non-racist, non-sexist jokes
Cleared for Take-Off - Fun Stuff on the Net
Impotency - Sex and the City Tackles Impotence Problem
Immunizations - Immunizations
Infertility - Infertile men at greater risk of testicular cancer
Kidstuff - NFL for Kids; Flag Football for Girls, Too
Pesticide exposure linked to cancer in children
Male Breast Cancer - Gasoline exposure increases risk of male breast cancer
Marriage - What No One Tells the Groom - Some Legal Consequences of Marriage. June is the big wedding month. Proposed laws regarding "Informed Consent" before marriage have failed numerous times in the California legislature. It is clear, there is a large segment of the women's movement that does not want men to have a clear picture of what they are committing to. If you are planning on marriage or know someone who is, read this or let the betrothed beware!
Marriage and Prison for Thousands of Innocent Men Every Year
Mental Health - Dispelling the Myths
Mentors - Performing the Sweat Lodge Ritural
Osteoporosis - Osteoporosis drug also works in men
Why Am I Getting Shorter?
Parkinsons - Michael's Fight: New hope in the war against Parkinson's Disease
Poetry - Waiting for your original poems to, for or about men
Politics - Electile Dysfunction; Why Over 200,000 African-Americans Could Not Vote in Florida
Pornography - Tax-Deductible Fun
Prison - Modern Science vs. Politics,
Two-thirds of America's Death Sentences are Overturned
Ballot to Stop all Executions
Prostate - Protein Linked to Prostate Cancer Risk in Black Men
Self-Exam - Are You Kidding?
Are Men With Vasectomies At Greater Risk For Prostate Cancer?
Natural Medicine Online: Therapeutic Choices in BPH
Prostate Cancer Climb - January, 2001
Screen Together - Live Together
Kaiser Permanente Recommends Agasinst Prostate Screenings
Best Reason for Fight for More Research
Urine Test Might Detect Prostate Cancer
Grosse Pointe is Gross
What the choices are and how they can affect your life
Relationships - Doc Love has joined us for a weekly commentary
Senior Health - T'ai Chi May Benefit Those with Arthritis
Special nursing care extends survival after surgery
Seniors - 'Safe home' design may prevent injuries in elderly
Sexism - It Never Hurts to Ask
Sexual Abuse - Sexual abuse in girls leads to later substance abuse
Child Sexual Abuse
Sexuality - The Secret to a Long Life:  Have lots of sex!
Sexuality in Later Life
U.S. Trial of Supplement to Optimize Sperm Quality
Don't Swallow!
Massachusettts, Pennsylvania & Alaska Legislate Sex Discrimination
Brothel Battles
Fox Broadcasting Expands Sexuality Beyond Male and Female
Skin - Liver Spots
Sleep Apnea - Sleep apnea, diabetes increase stroke risk
Smoking - The Marlboro Man may be Impotent
STDS - U.K. teens have high pregnancy, STD rates
Suicide - Guns & Youth Suicide
Teen Health - Getting involved in school is good for teen health
How Do I Avoid The Freshman 15
Testicles - Testicular Cancer No Longer Unmentionable
Testicular Cancer Cases Outpace Breast Cancer in Califiornia
Toy Safety - Toy Tips
What Toy Labels Really Mean
Teen Sex - Survey Shows Sex Practices of Boys
Teens Think Oral Sex is Like Abstinence
US Teens Lack Information on Avoiding HIV
Playing the Odds
Why No Male Birth Control Pill?  Lots of Reasons
Testosterone - Are You a Manly Man?
Urgent - Disposable nappies linked to infertility
Vasectomy - Is A Vasectomy Foolproof?
Vasectomies at 18/Tubuligations at 21
Violence - Snapshots on Children's Exposure to Community Violence plus information about a new product for women called bodyperks - perminantly ereck nipple
Bobby Knight - How Contrite - Good Night!
Violence Tax
War - Remember POWs Everywhere!
Weather & Health - How weather affects your health
Women & Men - What AOL is Telling Women
Women & Sports - Women's Pro Football live on the Internet
My Daughter is a Pro Linebacker
Women's Pro Football is Back with a Whack. (Including teams, schedules, results)
Introduction to NFL Football for Her
Women of the NFL
Women's Violence - A Good Kick in the Groin
Wild Women!
Work - Woman Complains of 50 Hour Work Week
Long Hours Get the Boot
Rise and Fall of the Traditional Breadwinner
Workplace safety: It's a guy thing

To Respond to Media's Portrayal of Men
 What the media are talking about



Naitonal Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy describes males a Sexual Predators

Researchers have long paid less attention to sexual activity and contraceptive use among males. And the Washington DC-based National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy published a report in 1997 that described males as sexual "predators."

One Man Stands Up Against the Dixie Chicks (11/20/00)

NBC will air the Dixie Chicks concert Monday night, November 20. Among the songs is their anthem of revenge against spousal abuse, "Good-bye Earl" which basic recommends planning a murder within the first few weeks of marriage. It also inspires a loan male fan to hoist a sign declaring "Earl was Framed." And, while we don't believe the circumstances in their song meant Earl was innocent, it sure didn't suggest that murder is the only alternative. However, seeing a society that seems to relish revenge, and guns, and murder, it is no wonder the song has received rave reviews, is featured wherever they sing, and unabashedly promotes escalating violence and conspiracy and vigilante law. And, besides us and that one lone man, the rest of the women's and men's movement seem to be sitting on their hands on this one. MORE

TV Guide's You Sexy Thing!

Do Real Men Really Prefer Big Breasts? We're supposed to. However, TV Guide's web site asked its surfers "Which one is sexier?"  Here are just a few of the comparisons and results as of October 17th. From Ally McBeal: Courtney Thome-Smith 13806 (50%) to Calista Flockhart's 13568 votes (50%) and Lisa Nicole Carson 1854 votes (32%) to Portia de Rossi's 3930 votes (68%). And, from the home improvement queens it was Pamela Anderson's 3083 votes (43%) to Debbe Dunnning's 4018 votes (57%).

Water Colors Inc. Designs Greeting Cards Depicting "Lenny" as a Eunuch

A company out of Navarre, Florida called Water Colors, has designed a line of note cards for professional massage therapists to send to friends and clients. The message on one reads "Heals the body, calms the mind, renews the spirit." A castrated Leonardo Da Vinci's Man is on the cover. I wonder if the are saying that massage or castration "Heals the body, calms the mind, renews the spirit." It must be kharma or the air-brusher took Leonardo's words as gospel when, in the late 1400s Da Vinci said "Intellectual passion drives out sensuality." I am reminder, however, that we are talking about a company based in Florida, the state that has many laws to control private and public sexuality, has had a ordinance to out law the thong bathing suit from its beaches, and is the home of Anita Bryant and the "Kill a Queer for Christ" bumper sticker campaign. Remember Anita's famous quote?  "If God had meant to have homosexuals he would have created Adam and Bruce." Well, Anita, God did just that, if you know anything about physiology. In God's infinite wisdom and desire to provide a variety of options in lilfe, s/he created 20 sexualities in addition to male, female and homosexual.(John Money) Water Colors, Inc. can be reached at PO Box 6269, Navarre, FL 32566-0269 or 800.804.2019. Let them know what you think about design # 535. We'll let you know if they responded to our inquiry.

Norelco Promotes More Violence

10/15/00 - Norelco adds to their TV commercial mix. Male spectators are given the new Norelcom to test. After the test, back at the game, a woman walks by a fan and feels his face as she walks by. His girl friend gets angry and whops him with a bataka bat. Norelco's Initial Response

Norelco Promotes Violence

9/17/00 - Norelco television commercial - guy doesn't like what mascot says. Guy knocks mascot to the ground with a round house with his briefcase and walks away smiling.

Are You Making Love in the Dark? (8-9/00)

Ms magazine. In this society sex is used to hype consumerism. Meanwhile, one in four Americans will be infected with an STD in their lifetime.Ppolitical hypocrites, an outmoded public health policy, and public indifference and denial fuel the epidemic. So, what's being done?  

Of Microbes and Manhood (8-9/00)

Again in Ms magazine, an article around the premise that "Belief in traditional manhood increases men's sexual risk-taking." The author takes a look at exactly how cultural norms about manhood implicated in this mass migration of microorganisms (STDs)?

Special: Intimacy (Summer 2000)

Hope magazine: People making a difference has 6 stories on intimacy. Married with Children: A husband and wife on what happens to passion when kids enter the picture. Intimacy Alone: How much can we love life and how brace van we be on our own?  Past Imperfect: As his daughter comes of age, a father recalls his own stumbling steps toward intimacy. Sex, Lies & Magazine Articles: Whyy all those tips on technique are missing the point. Nothing to Lose: After de cades in failing relationships, two friends dare to face their deepest fears and discover new ideas about love and intimacy. Her Bright Window: A married man flirts with who he is not and discovers a llve he can name. Great issue!

What's Behind Dr. Laura's Diatribes? (Sum/00)

You may think Dr. Laura is just talk-radio static, but with her on-air anti-feminist, gay-bashing and anti-abortion advice, she is promoting the agenda of the Christian Right. See this issue of Lilith, The independent Jewish women's magazine.

Boys, Fathers and the Assault on Masculinity(7/3/00)

National Review. "The Manly Ideal: Gone but not forgotten" states that "Manliness is not permission for aggressive behavior but a set of rules that inhibit aggression in most cases. And, in "Paternity Fight: Pols and acativists arge over dads" says that "more politicians will have to find the courage to extol the importance of married fatherhood." The issue includes a review titled "The Male Eunuch" by Richard Lowry" of Christina Hoff Sommers new book, The War Against Boys: How misguided feminism is harming our young men.

The Mommie Wars (7/00)

Why feminists and conservatives just don't get modern motherhood. A very interesting piece by Cathy Young, author of Ceasefire: Why women and men must join forces to achieve true equality.

Breaking the Boy Code (6-7/00)

A new magazine on the newsstands, dads has a number of good articles in it's Premiere Issue. One is the above about parents finally waking up to what experts have warned for years:  Ours sons are in crisis. Two leading authorities, Michael Thompson and William Pollack, have each writter best-selling books on how dads can connect to their sons and keep them safe.

Will You Live to 120? (6-8/00)

Scientific American explores "The Quest to Beat Aging" looking at bionic organs and Mulecular Fountains of Youth.

CMen and Breast Cancer (6/00)

Esquire magazine devotes 7 pages with a nice write-up to make people aware of the fact that over 300 men will die of breast cancer this year. And, while twice as many will die of testicular cancer, and 133 times that number will die of prostate cancer, at least it's some recognition of a men's health issue. Some of the numbers are:  "Five-year survival rate for men with breast cancer with no metastasis: 90%. When spread to regional lymph nodes: 75%. With distant spread: 20%." And, here's the BIG ONE. "Relative delay in diagnosis of men versus women: 18 months."

DMassachusettts, Pennsylvania & Alaska Legislate Sex Discrimination (5/31/00)

Did you know that there are over 1,250 health clubs in the U.S. that cater solely to women or offer a women-only workout area and no public clubs that offer the same services for men only that we could find. Nautilus is one of the leaders in this movement for women's only clubs. And, according to the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association, the number of women's only health clubs is on the rise. This isn't a surprise to us. We've written about this for years, how discrimination is used supposedly to eliminate discrimination. In a CNN story by Suzanne Schlosberg, Alaska, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania legislatures have voted to protect single-sex clubs (translate women only clubs). Some of the reasons for such clubs is that, while some women enjoy the attention from men, others feel self-conscious exercising in a coed environment. I personally resigned my membership at the Amador Health Club in Dublin, CA for that very reason and haven't returned to any health club since. I would if I didn't have to show my flab to women, but that doesn't look like a possibility because I'm a man.

The National Organization for Women (NOW) actually lobbied hard against single-sex registration in Massachusetts but more from a political stance not wanting to take the chance we might return to segregating golf clubs and other sports venues. "Our objection is to passing a law that permits discrimination," said their president Andrea Mullin. But, alas, discrimination continues in the north, and it's been specifically legalized in Alaska, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania. So, we as a society can continue to teach our children that discrimination is okay, as in so many other legal situations, if it's against men.

Bobby Knight - How Contrite - Good Night! (5/14/00)

What do Knight, Spreewell, Tyson, Davis, Ditka and the recent U.S. Olympic (Pro) Hockey Team, to name just a few, have in common. They are all out-of-control and want us to accept that that's just the way it is. Too harsh?  I think not. On Mother's Day, when many metro newspapers were doing page 5 and page 9 stories on "Violence in Youth Sports Spreading", "Foul Play in Youth Sports", and "Violence in Sports Spreading in Youth Ranks," in addition to all the stories on the Million Mom March, our white-haired darling Bobby Boy got Front Sports Page mention in all of these metro papers and then some. You can't pay PR firms to get this kind of coverage, so could it be the alumni association flexing their muscle or sports writers coming to his defense (James Prichard of the AP was the BK positive author of most of them)?  I wonder. Here's a man who is reported to have grabbed former player Neil Reed by the throat, attacked a former assistant last November, attacked an SID, throwing a vase at a wall when he couldn't get his way with an IU secretary, firing a starter's pistol at a reporter, shooting a friend in a hunting incident and hot reporting it, throwing an LSU fan in a dumpster, fighting in a parking lot with a diner who took exception to a too-loud racial characterization by Knight, hitting a Puerto Rican policeman during the Pan Am Games, kicking his own son during a game, and spending a lifetime in smelly gyms bullying other people's children. A man who once said "If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." Who put a tampon in a player's locker to motivate him. The record seems to stand on its own. Men end up in prison for less than what he's done, though he did get 6 months for the Puerto Rico incidence, which has yet to be served. I guess it doesn't matter if you're in Indiana and you win basketball games, though let the record also show he hasn't won a national championship in 13 years

In his 330 word statement he said he was "trying" to control his emotions. Emotions are okay, in fact encouraged. He needs to understand the difference between emotions and control his otherwise out-of-control behavior. He said he needed to be more diplomatic. What he needs is 26-52 weeks in an alternatives to violence program. And, he needs to stop "trying" to do it and "Do it". Coaches strangling players. Players strangling coaches. Maybe we should just turn off the TV and wait until these athletes can get it together, if they want to, and then see if we can enjoy sharing a basketball with our kids again, sans Bobby Knight.

Woman Complains of 50 Hour Work Week (5/14/00)

Have you ever seen a major newspaper devote the majority of Page 1 of the Sunday Business section to a white collar man complaining about working too many hours. Especially one who hasn't been out of law school for much more than a year and is pulling down over 6 figures. Well, that's the coverage the Denver Post gave three second-year associate women 25-27 and one first-year male associate 31. I almost shed a tear for the poor things. But, then I though of all the others in law, cab drivers, doctors, ad execs, truck drivers, firemen, etc. who would welcome such a short week. And, all of the (mostly) men who are on call 24 hours a day to handle what we can't or don't want to. It's not uncommon for many white collar industries to bleed the life out of people to get as much as they can as quick as they can. When 1/3 of men over 55 are unemployable because they haven't been able to find work and their unemployment payments have run out.)  When the average CEO works 59 hours a week. When men are still seen as having primary responsibility for the financial needs of the family, no matter how many jobs or hours it takes. I decided I didn't want to waste the Kleenex and turned the page. Hopefully, this will help equal out some of the 79 cent disparage between what male doctors with years of education and experience make versus female receptionists with neither. Hopefully, other women who want to narrow this gap will start doing the dangerous and risky jobs that take men's lives but pay well. (See related story from London below.)

Long Hours Get the Boot (5/14/00)

The Independent from London also had a story about Long Hours. It took a bit of a different twist and was based on what a number of companies in Europe are doing to insure that their employees have a work-life balanced week in an effort to curb workaholics. Some corporations are launching an attack on presenteeism and a complete overhaul of its working practices. They haven't gone as far as Armand Hammer, who was notorious for firing employees if they were found in the office after hours. But they have warned their staffs that consistent overtime will now be discouraged. Of course, Britain has long been known for a country of workaholics. In a 1999 Quality of Work/Life survey, it found that 10% of British managers work more than 61 hours a week. Across the channel in France, many of their companies are moving to a four-day week and all workers in Holland now have the chance to renegotiate full-time jobs on a part-time basis. Note:  If you know of ANY companies in the U.S. that are heading in this direction, we'd like to know at

Rise and Fall of the Traditional Breadwinner (5/14/00)

In a week that could be described as a requiem for the traditional male breadwinner - the man who invests his all in a lifetime job, frequently at the price of his own health, to bring a regular wage home to the wife and children. First came the announcement that despite the Phoenix deal to buy Rover from BMW, 1,000 jobs would be lost. Then, three days later, 8,000 Ford workers at Dagenham received details of the voluntary redundancy package on offer - at least 2,000 jobs are to go at the plant, ending seven decades of car production. Many of these men were once clear about their role as breadwinner. A survey of 27 countries published last week indicated that only 36% of Britons enjoy their job (Denmark was on top with 62%, with the U.S. somewhere in between). Add to this that 200 jobs are lost a day and the length of time spent commuting, which is increasing, allows little leeway for family life. In 1997 a MORI poll of full-time workers revealed that more than half were concerned over the amount of time stolen from their families by work - a concern expressed by more men than women. Last month, Mintel published a paper for which more than 1,700 men and women were interviewed. Over a quarter of fathers with children under five said they would like to work fewer hours, even if it meant a pay cut, and reduced career prospects. And, where previously men had said that work was an important source of companionship, now only one in four claimed this to be the case. Is the traditional breadwinner transforming into the advocate of the family-friendly workplace which allows dad to take on his share of child rearing, chickenpox and sports days? And encourages, and pays women to increase their responsibility as bread winners. Let's hope so!

Brothel Battles (5/14/00)

On a lighter note, it is reported that Sydney, ASL's 400 legal brothels are trying to outdo each other in getting ready for the Games. No gimmick is going untested. An establishment called the Tokyo House offers what it calls its "Olympic Special." Naturally, it has to do with sushi served in the raw, and the rest, you don't want to know.

Thousands of Women Walked a Marathon in Their Bras (5/14/00)

Wonderbra model Adriana Sklenarikova (right) and the new face of Wonderbra Bliss, Michell Ray, lend their, et, support to the Playtex Moonwalk in central London, sponsored by the firm to increase awareness of breast cancer and raise money for research. They still can't beat the bicycle parade at Burning Man.


A&U magazine reports that researchers are reexamining the risks associated with oral sex. The transmissibility of HIV through cunnilingus or fellatio has been a focus of concern since the early days. In an era when sexual activity can be a life-threatening activity, it is important that individuals take the time to understand what is known about the risk factors associated with oral sex. WANT TO KNOW MORE?

Prostate Cancer - What the choices are and how they can affect your life (5/22/00)

A story in this issue of U.S. News & World Report talks about the dilemmas that early detection of prostate cancer brings with it a blessing and a burden, forcing more and younger men to weigh the difficult treatment options. (Editor:  Has the medical community stepped out of the fight as incident rates and deaths of men continue increasing?)

Michael's Fight: New hope in the war against Parkinson's Disease (5/22/00)

A Newsweek cover story of Michael's Battle - waging a war with candor and energy, Michael J. Fox is shining a fresh light on Parkinson's disease. His battle, and the explosion of new medical research that's giving new hope to the million Americans who suffer from the deadly brain affliction. And, while the majority of the story is around affairs, the magazine reports on New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani's fight with the same prostate cancer that killed his father.

A Call for a Boycott of all Simon & Schuster Products (4/27/00)

Simon & Schuster Interactive has a new CD-ROM called Panty Raider. We have been unable to speak to a human but left several messages (see contacts below). We were able to confirm the following from their website, . At we learned it is planned for May, 2000 and the ISBN is 0-743-50293-0. At it said, and we quote "Three crazed aliens arrive from a planet far, far away. Their mission: get photos of specific supermodels in specific lingerie. Yes! It's Panty Raider and you play Nelson, the mild mannered Earthling who must fulfill the alien's mission -- or they will destroy planet Earth!" We left our feedback at Then, the big find. Here are direct quotes from Simon & Schuster Interactive: "Save earth with supermodel's panties...Gamers will Seek Out Supermodels to Strip Them Down to Their Bra and Panties...aliens telling Nelson which girls, wearing what underwear he will need to photograph for that mission..."  We can use "Use cheesy pickup lines to lure models out of the woods...X-Ray glasses...allowing the player to see what kind of underwear each girl is wearing, before they go through the process of undressing her...The secret substance that is thrown at the models and mysteriously removes their clothing...Lures - Items such as tiny mints (lunch!) and credit cards. No self-respecting supermodel can resist these items."  If you want more, go to

From making fun of anorexia to objectifying girls to assuming that boys just want titillation from computer games, Panty Raider is a disgrace.

DADs executive director Joe Kelly added that the game is also offensive to fathers of sons. "We don't see the humor or fun in glorifying what Panty Raider calls 'hormone driven anger' in boys, especially after tragedies like the Columbine shootings. We are offended when our sons are repeatedly subjected to the destructive stereotypes of boys objectifying females, placing titillation above all else, and using violence or its threat to get their way."

Where does it stop?  S&S Interacative is also the proud distributors of Last Call which teaches kids how to mix drinks and get all their friends drunk. Some fun, eh?

Action You Can Take

Thanks to Joe Kelly of Dads and Daughters for the heads-up on this. You can read the full letter Dads and Daughters wrote to Simon & Schuster Interactive at E-mail, click here or call 1-888-824-DADS (Homepage).


A Thought from the Sinking Titanic (4/18/00)

Similar to our Daily Thoughts, every morning I receive a Positive Thought for the Day from the people at Since April 15th (1912) was the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, I thought today's message was most appropriate as an example of a Real Man.

"I am willing to remain and play the man’s game if there are not enough boats for more than the women and children…. Tell my wife I played the game straight out and to the end. No woman shall be left aboard this ship because Ben Guggenheim is a coward." - Final words of Benjamin Guggenheim, millionaire traveler aboard the ill-fated Titanic. As the boat began to sink Guggenheim changed into formal dress and calmly faced death.

If you like, you can subscribe to their Thought for the Day at

It Never Hurts to Ask (4/4/00)

It's not an unusual experience to go to a category listing somewhere and see a category for women. Then look for men and there are no services listed anywhere. With 182 version's and titles of Chicken Soup for the Soul, etc., not one for men or fathers. Several search engines list just about every category but men. In Chase's gigantic Events of 2000, there are 90 celebrations this year for women, two of which have presidential proclamations, only two events list for men, and one of those is sponsored by women called "National Men Make Dinner Day" on November 2. No presidential proclamations. Not even a Prostate Cancer Awareness Day while women have a whole month and presidential proclamation for breast cancer. So, I wasn't surprised to find the same thing happening with the non-profit organization "Volunteer Match" which has an on-line service to help match people interested in doing something with non-profits needing stuff done. Both of our organizations will be promoting National Volunteer Week April 9-15. So, being interested in men, I sent them an email today. It read: "No men. Like many informational opportunities, there is usually a separate category for women and seldom one for men. Please break the trend. Men need as much help and find it difficult to ask. Then when they aren't included, it tends to increase their isolation. Our mission, since 1982 is to end men's isolation. Please add the category of "men" to your list." Surprise. This afternoon I received the following answer:  "Thank you for your email. We appreciate your feedback as a user and will take your suggestion into consideration. Our site is currently undergoing restructuring and unfortunately we are not able to add any categories or make other changes for another month or two. Being a nonprofit, VolunteerMatch is unfortunately limited in resources, which makes it difficult to address our nonprofit member's requests immediately. We do take our user's suggestions seriously. We will make a general announcement in our monthly newsletter as soon as our categories have been revamped. Thank you." We hope they make the change but at least we got a response that was more than a form letter. Even if they don't have a listing for "Men", it's a good place for a non-profit men's organization to post a listing for volunteers and a good place to get volunteers. Maybe if enough of us sign up, and request a men's listing, they'll see that there is a need to be filled and fill it. A click here will take you to their search engine at the bottom of this page. Check them out. It's quite a service. And, you too, can make a difference!


  Objectification (2/00)

The ad under the "Lenny" icon ran in Bikini magazine, which isn't what you think if you haven't read an issue. It was sponsored by the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women. If you can't read the "headline" in red just below the woman's hemline, it reads "This is not an invitation to rape me." We agree 100%.  We also agree that women have the right to wear what they like. And, we have two concerns. That regardless of those rights, we don't seem to be teaching our daughters either about objectification or about the potential danger of high-risk behaviors. While this high-risk behavior isn't an invitation to rape, it remains a high-risk behavior in a culture that is afraid of sex so uses seduction, evocative clothing, and suggestive behaviors as part of everyday living. And, it's not uncommon for the press to snap movie stars and models coyly revealing bare breasts, nipples and vulvas in public. It seems curious that organizations like NOW attack men for looking and pay little or no attention to the other side of objectification - one that is encouraged constantly through hundreds of pictures and stories published in women's magazines, run on sitcoms, soap operas and talk shows that basically encourage both behaviors. Men objectifying women's bodies and women wearing the clothing, V-neck, push-up bras (Wonder, shelf, soft cups, floating underwire, fixed underwire and the list goes on) to give men something extra to objectify. In France, bare breasts in television commercials are quite common. In India, millions of men walk around totally nude and no-one hides their children's eyes. Yet here, in this great country founded on freedom, we are filled with laws to control individuals from being free. Being dishonest about sex. Teaching seduction and forgetting about intimacy. I've worked with many women in the advertising business. Smart, skilled and often attractive women, who gave me their mind as a major consideration. I don't display my body. I expect to be seen for my mind. Don't display yours and I will return the favor. Sidebar: The original campaign was created by a man back in the mid 90s. Trevor Beatty of TBWA, London, who brought you all those sexy "Hello Boy's" Wonderbra ads, started the campaign to counter the myth that only women in short skirts get raped and to "raise awareness about what constitutes a rape, what constitutes a rapist, and what constitutes a rape victim." Here are some of the more intriguing situations beyond the obvious that is portrayed above. A kiss, a wedding, a elderly woman with a cane and a woman giving a man her phone number. Each one has the same tag line, "this is not an invitation to rape me." It's interesting that woman's groups in England had reservations or were just downright hostile about it. Back then, Jane Wright of Victim Support Scheme in Somerset said that while the campaign may encourage more women to come forward, it's naive to think that it will change male attitudes. And Ann Mayne of the Campaign Against Pornography appeared on national television attacking Beatty and the posters even before they hit the streets. So, it's interesting that five years later, the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women is using it. How times change.


You've Gotta See This!

The two magazines above on the left rolled by next to each other at check out and I see what you see. Jennifer Lopez pointing a finger at you with the headline "Line of Fire", and Newsweek's cover on a 6 year old boy killing his classmate. When I get home, I had also purchased Psychology Today for an article on stress but the woman on the cover looks more angry to me. Five years ago we wouldn't have seen an angry woman on the cover of a respected publication. And, if you read the story on the six-year-old shooter, the reason he wanted to scare her is that she hit him. Ask any teenage boy if he's ever been hit or slapped by a girl. I wouldn't be surprised if it well surpasses the number of teenage girls slapped or hit by boys. In saying that, it doesn't excuse anyone to act out revenge on someone else. everyone must take responsibility for their own violence and not point the figure somewhere else. Hitting and slapping are physical violence and it shouldn't matter which sex is doing it. And this culture glorifying women using physical violence against men, who they know can't do anything about it without a felony charge. TV is full of examples that women are giving young girls and their daughters. "He deserved it" is not longer a valid excuse. It's still battery. If doesn't deserve a violent act in return, but it should expect the batterer to be punished. If this gets across to the kids, maybe some real progress can be made in making this world safe for children. When everyone takes responsibility for their own violence and gets help. And, hopefully, the gun manufacturers will introduce some of the measures they have been testing before the people get angry enough to put them out of business all together. Some things parents can do.


Surprise! Ms. Does a Father Positive Story (2-3/00)

I could believe it. They did a story, though only 2/3 of a page, on Dawn Riley, the captain and CEO of the American True syndicate in. In 1995 she captained the first all-women America's Cup team and the current America's Cup competition has 11 multimillion-dollar boats competing. They were in third place the the time the article was written. Her dad, it seems, took all the family savings in 1977 and took his family sailing. Her mother basically said sailboat racing is a man's world so don't go dreaming something that you can't do. Maybe that was part of the impetus, the article doesn't say. It does say she echoed her father and great-grandfathers "I've never met a crisis I didn't warm to. And later, "following in her father's footsteps, she put her own life savings into her boat, gathered a crew of women and men, and took to the sea. Who says fathers can't be an important example to their kids? They also report that the 1999 Women's Soccer World Cup edged out the NBA finals by 390,000 households. Thanks, MS. Minor confusion where, either I don't get it or they need a calculator. Maybe they aren't tell the whole story. They quote a piece from Reuters that 38% of teen girls believe their husbands will stay home with the kids while 51% of teen boys think they will have a wife who stays home. However, that leaves 49% of the boys believing their wives won't stay home. Sounds pretty encouraging to me. Also, it doesn't add up. Their cover price is $5.95. They print 6 issues a year, that's $35.70 at the newsstand. But, if you "Subscribe Today!", you'll save $10. The subscription price - $35. Looks to me like I only say 70 cents. I'm probably missing something, or they are.

Boyz II Girlz: The vanishing American male (2/00)

That's the cover of Chronicles: A magazine of American culture. There are three articles: It's a Girl's, Girl's, Girl's, Girl's World, Unisex Multiplex: When Felix met Oscar and G.I. Jane: I love a gal in a uniform, plus a commentary called Everything is Jake: The unmanned American and a poem called The New Equality, are included in this issue.

Gay Today (3/20/00)

The 3/20/00 issue of Newsweek does a special report called Gay Today: How the battle for acceptance has moved to school, churches, marriage & the workplace.


CRoxy's Rock

Stance is a very interesting magazine. Directed to the teens/twenties, active youth, it learns heavily on activities like surfing, skate and snow boarding boarding. Got Milk advertises, plus a lot of pricey items are talked about: $1,700 in-dash CD players, $370 watches, $1000 digital cameras, $700 cell phones and the like. The premiere issue has several interesting things in it and this one, "Roxy: Between a Roxy and a hard place" was about surfer women. Yes, they were in skimpy wear - and that's what the young women wear. Yes it said "Girls" and that culture refers to "girls" and "guys" and hasn't gotten hung up on "women" and "men" - sounds to ancient. What we really like was the way they talked about surfer women. To quote: "We never thought we'd be saying it, but we like the word "wholesome". Are we admitting to liking "wholesome" girls?  That's right...They capture everything that's hot about girls without leaning toward being "dirty."...Made the Roxy surfers synonymous with a Southern California definition of pretty that needs no touching up, no makeup. It's anti-glamour...They're unpretentious."  We like that too. This is a far cry from the messages that most teen and women's magazines are giving young women - with loads of "Tricking/seducing your man" type articles and promoting the need to wear a lot of make-up, to be pretentious In fact, there is a whole magazine, 98 pages, called Britney Spears doing just that. Thumbs up - we prefer your Stance.

Surfer Skirts (4/00)

Again, the new Stance magazine takes a stance with the heading "Scottish Surfers are Cool." talking about LungiMan's Surfkilt. No homophobia here.


Misleading Reports - "Lesbians Increase Violence Against Men in San Francisco" (11/99)

We received a "press release" in the mail from an anonymous source. It talked about

"bomb threats...sprayed in front of several male and mixed venues in San Francisco by a lesbian hate group. As late as November, 1999, the bomb threats showed lighted bombs ready to explode and 'Lesbian Avengers' as the source. These bomb threats and other lesbian graffiti appeared in front of Starbucks (formerly Pasqua) on 18th near Castro Street, the restored and historic Castro Theater, and other locations popular with males. 'Dyke space' graffiti also were sprayed in several locations."

They gave four sources of information and to date we have been able to talk to three of the sources and the only verification we have been able to make is that there is a group called Lesbian Avengers in San Francisco, they do spray graffiti, and that their logo includes a bomb. There is no substantiation for other claims that they made any bomb threats, nor called for "death to maleness" or urged the "castration of all males" as the release goes on to say, either through graffiti or their speeches at the "Dyke March" in June of 1999. It went on to say that reports had been released by a San Francisco commission stating that "1 out of 3 lesbians have been sexually assaulted by another woman."  That cannot be substantiate either. Furthermore, we can't find any resource that can substantiate an advertising campaign to reach out to "women raped by other women." We can substantiate a campaign, run in early 1999 to all women, including lesbians, that support services were available for those who are victims of domestic violence. The press release went on to claim, without support, that the "Dirty Dyke" group and NOW members who support and organize the parade regularly spray graffiti on "male turf".

The release also made a claim that "The FBI made no comment about investigating "female supremacist" groups."  Why would they? That isn't their charter under the law. The release claimed that "the parade carries signs urging death to maleness and hate speech against men."  We reviewed the Pride Divide video that they talked about and sw no such sign. We have confirmed that it is scheduled to aired on KQED-TV, San Francisco in late June, 2000.

While we know that many women and men carry the same cultural traits that cause them to lean toward hate, violence and revenge, and we have confirmed some of the information about the Lesbian Avengers, as stated above, this kind of unsubstantiated information that many women and men's groups knowingly release to elicit public support, is wrong. We hold up the Lesbian Avengers as an example of what some women do, and we hold up the same for the person who mailed us this release (whether a gay, lesbian or het). Until the information can be substantiated, it remains that unidentified person's opinion. The reason we have it here is so that other's who may see this and have seen the press release or the publication of the press release, or heard rumors, would have a better position in which to make a decision or take their own personal action.

1. 2.   DDixie Chicks Get Away the Murder and Got a Grammy for It in 1999 and Video of the Year in 2001

I used to like these street urchins who made the transition from working the streets to major winners in the Academy of Country Music Awards (3 in 2001 and 8 since 1999). So, this is not about their song "I can't live without you. Without you I'm not okay. Without you I've lost my way." Most recording artists have a few dysfunctional songs in their repertoire.

No, this is about another song "Goodbye Earl", an upbeat song that makes premeditated murder fun. Whether for guilt or legal reasons, they even made this statement in the liner notes, though the size type and colors they used makes it almost impossible to read. "The Dixie Chicks do not advocate premeditated murder, but love getting even." But this song is about premeditated murder and disposing of the body. And, about having fun doing it. Wanda sings, "Earl's gotta die. We need a break. We'll go to the lake. Plan a lunch, and stuff you in the trunk. Well is that all right, good let's go for a ride." And, "Ain't it dark, wrapped up in that tarp?" And, "A missing person nobody missed at all."

Now, Earl wasn't innocent. He has a violent husband after two weeks of marriage. But, if everyone used the excuse that "my only option was premeditated murder", vigilantism would be queen.

I've been amazed at the number of "conscious" women, wives and mothers I know, who really get a kick out of this song. But, let a water gun in the house and watch out.

I won't hold my breath waiting for any woman to stand up against this song, much less the shelter movement or the women's movement. In fact, it may become their theme song. Because it gives new impetus to the use of the Abused Wife Syndrome as a defense for premeditated murder. Nor do I expect to see a single newspaper editorial, or talk show, much less any of the major news programs to devote a single sound byte to this subject. Yet, television shows are filled with segments of girl's/women hitting, slapping, and punching boy friends just because of something they said. That kind of violence from a woman to a man seems okay. It must improve the ratings, too, because many of the shows use those segments in their promos. Is this what we want to teach our children, especially our daughters? First, if you don't like what a man says, go ahead and slug him. He deserves it. And, after all, he can't do anything about it. If he even tries to restrain you while you're hitting him, you can charge him with a felony in many states. "That'll show those men." And don't dare go to sleep or we'll really get even with scissors (remember the tremendous support Loraina got from the women's movement?) or a knife or a gun. As reports confirm, our daughters are getting more violent. Is this kind of "revenge" working to end violence? Does it make guys like Earl afraid or make them even want to change their behavior? I haven't seen anything to support that theory.

Don't get us wrong. Husbands who abuse their wives or children should go to prison. Wives who abuse their husbands or children should go to prison. (And get a sentence with equal severity.) Boys who hit their girl friends, should go to juvey. Girls who hit their boy friends, should go to juvey. (And get a sentence with equal severity.) Husbands who sexually abuse their children, should go to prison. Wives who falsely charge their husbands, should at least have their children removed from their house for severe child abuse. Maltreatment

Just "Getting' even." Would you say fair is fair if the next man you hit hit you back with the same or less intensity? Just "Getting' Even." How about the next time you point your finger at him and belittle him in front of the children calling him a lazy good for nothin' for watching some sports over the weekend. That's verbal and domestic abuse if a man belittles his wife like that. Would Tom Lehrer's ditty "I hold your hand in mine, dear" be appropriate here? (Side bar: Little does he know that you spent considerably more time in front of the tv everyday during the week watching your favorite soap operas and talk shows.) What about falsely charging your former husband with sexually abusing his children. What kind of a mother does that - a pretty sick one I'd say and not the best one to be raising children. Yet, she can knowingly falsely accuse him, multiple times, and yet in most states, there's no recourse to stop her. Sounds like a perfect time for AHS (Abused Husband Syndrome). Gettin' even is what it's all about. Ain't that right, Wanda?

This reminds me of the movie about two powerless women going on a shooting spree "Gettin' even" with men. But, leaving a trail of violence only to commit suicide by driving over a cliff holding hands, I fail to see the power in that. Hundreds of witches holding hands and jumping off cliffs during the inquisition, now that was power.

The Dixie Chicks have their own web site but unfortunately no way to email them. Their new album is called Fly (see 1. above), and ostensibly it's about "having more confidence and ability to soar and fly." Their homepage opens on a pair of guys Levi's jeans with the line "Unzip to Fly". Move your curser to the zipper fly and an enlarged hand with pointing finger comes up. Click on the fly and the Dixie Chicks emerge out of the guys pants (see "2" above). The connection is confusing. It's also an interesting concept considering the majority of their fans (at least on their "fans" page) are adolescents or younger girls. They also talk about how empowering all their songs on the new album are. They specifically talk about "Goodbye Earl" but don't mention "Without You." I wonder why?

At least the Dixie Chicks are obvious about their hate, though they're not willing to take responsibility for it. Unfortunately, the psychic message that we are left with is revenge and that never leaves one at peace. Like you, we want Earl off the streets as quickly as possible and not enough is being done, from our perspective, to stop violent men and violent women from being violent. Encouraging "revenge," however, isn't empowering, even in a fantasy. Let's use the time and money we would use supporting the Dixie Chicks to find a better way?

"Little Ms Muffet
Sat on a Tuffet
Planning ways to kill Earl
Such a sweet little girl!"

  "Mothers Are Not Essential in Raising Children" (6/99)

American Psychologist, The Journal of the American Psychological Association, June, 1999. We reported on this finding last year but hadn't seen the actual 11 page article. We ask that you read the following through to the end before having any conversations about it, writing any letters, or quoting. And, if you want to do any political work around it, you should get your own copy from the APA, ISBN 0003-066X for $20 including shipping.

Quoted from the article: "Neoconservative social scientists have claimed that mothers are essential to positive child development and that responsible mothering is most likely to occur within the context of heterosexual marriage. This perspective is generating a range of governmental initiatives designed to provide social support preferences to mothers over fathers and to heterosexual married couples over alternative family forms. The authors propose that the neoconservative position is an incorrect or oversimplified interpretation of empirical research. Using a wide range of cross-species, cross-cultural and social science research, the authors (Louise B. Silverstein and Carl F. Auerbach, Yeshiva University - wherever that is) argue that neither mothers nor fathers are essential to child development and that responsible mothering can occur within a variety of family structures. The authors conclude with alternative recommendations for encouraging responsible mothering that do not discriminate against fathers and diverse family forms." And, we go on.

"In the past two decades, there has been an explosion of research on mothers. There is now a broad consensus that mothers are important contributors to both normal and abnormal child outcomes. Infants and toddlers can be as attached to mothers as they are to fathers. In addition, even when mothers are not physically present, they may play an important role in their children's psychological lives. Other important issues about mothers and families remain controversial...Our data on lesbian couples have convinced us that neither a mother nor a father is essential. Similarly, our research with divorced, never-married and remarried mothers has taught us that a wide variety of family structures can support positive child outcomes. We have concluded that children need at least one responsible, caretaking adult who has a positive emotional connection to them and with whom they have a consistent relationship. Because of the emotional and practical stress involved in child rearing, a family structure that includes more than one such adult is more likely to contribute to positive child outcomes. Neither the sex of the adult(s) nor the biological relationship to the child has emerged as a significant variable in predicting positive development. One, none or both of those adults could be a mother (or father). We have found that the stability of the emotional connection and the predictability of the caretaking relationship are the significant variables that predict positive child development....They found very few significant differences in the ways that fathers and mothers treated girls and boys and concluded that 'very little about the gender of the parents seems to be distinctly important...Taken as a whole, the empirical research does not support the idea that mothers make a unique and essential contribution to child development."

"Social policy is needed that removes the impediments to paternal involvement for never-married and divorced fathers. Rather than privileging the institution of heterosexual marriage at the expense of other family structures, it is essential to strengthen the father-child bond within all family contexts, especially nonmarital contexts."

Editorial comments: Their conclusion from reviewing 1 1/2 pages of references in the article, is that neither birth parent is "essential" to the raising of healthy, responsible children. Two responsible parents are a preference, but it doesn't need to be in the context of marriage and neither one need be the birth parent. I think anyone who reads the published article will agree that this is what they are saying. So, since neither the father nor the mother are essential to the healthy development of a child, I left the third paragraph as written and took the title and the first two paragraphs of the article and used the word mother when they said father, and father when they said mother. If their research and findings are correct, then why would it matter. Our culture has long held a preference for "the essential mother" and hasn't seen the "essential father" even as a remote concern. If that were not the case, our custody laws would be drastically different and not automatically say that physical custody should go to the mother. This article would seem to say there should be no preference based on the sex of the parent. Therefore, all of these stay-at-home dads that I know who have been raising their kids, shouldn't get them taken away if there is a divorce. And, dysfunctional mothers shouldn't have priority either, which they do now. I'm sorry for misleading you. It just seemed that what they were saying was that the sex or the marital status didn't matter, but were afraid to say, outright, that the mother wasn't essential. While the article makes that claim, it is structured with the focus on bunking the research on "essential father" to lessen the reaction about the lack of importance of the mother. If they aren't pushing a political agenda to maintain the position of the "non-essential mother" as the "essential mother" and more important than the "non-essential father" in government, state and local programs, then hopefully, they will rewrite the article, putting equal emphasis on the lack of importance of the "essential mother" so that therapists around the world, particularly MFCC's, won't take the information at a glance and negatively impact their work with families. If you have comments, I can be reached at One of the authors, Louise B. Silverstein, can be reached at 99 Clinton Street, Brooklyn, NY 11201, or

Footnote: It is curious why, out of the 64 references they give in the article, Sara McLanahan, a Professor of Sociology at Princeton University, 10 year study was not included. Probably because it showed that a child living with the custodial mother, regardless of social class, economics, background, race, or sex, has a 2 to 3 times greater risk of dropping out of high school, having a lower grade point average, have school attendance problems, trouble finding a job, be a teen mother/have a child outside of marriage, and more likely to divorce if they do get married. It's surely not hidden data since PBS's Frontline air a program based on the information called The Vanishing Father. Maybe they had a press deadline or their tenure was in jeopardy if they didn't get published. Inquiring minds want to know.

Women & Rage: The truth about violence

The 11-12/99 issue of Psychology Today looks at women's violence, finally. Check it out! "Violence by women has skyrocketed in the latter part of this century. Have they taken 'women's liberation' one step too far - or are they just showing their natural killer instinct?" This isn't new news to many of those who have worked with men's issues over the years, but this may bring much needed awareness to those in "Family" Services and many of the Alternatives to Violence programs solely focused on women as victims and men as perpetrators. We have listed all of the programs we could find that provide services for women perpetrators and male victims and well as male perpetrators (Alttoviolence). Hopefully, local, county and state services and organizations will be started in the rest of the country to serve the entire spectrum of violent people, regardless of their sex. NOTE:  If you are a male victim, refer to important information you should know.

DHMO Legislation Excludes Men

Unconfirmed reports say the effective January 1, 2000, the nation’s HMOs and MCOs are expected to comply with new standards for sex-specific services. These are the standards for women’s health:

1. Breast cancer screening
2. Cervical cancer screening
3. Chlamydia screening in women
4. Prenatal care in the first trimester
5. Check-ups after delivery
6. Initiation of prenatal care
7. Frequency of ongoing prenatal care
8. Discharge and average length of stay - maternity care
9. Cesarean section
10. Vaginal birth after delivery
11. Management of menopause
12. Weeks of pregnancy at time of enrollment

These are the standards for men’s health:

0. No, that’s not a typographic error, as we understand it. There are 12 standards for women’s health, and none for men’s health.

Act now. Complain to your local HMO, elected representative, whomever. Because people care about your life.

Anatomy of a Talk Show

While going through my files on the men's movement, I ran across a folder that brought back a lot of memories. It one of the few shows Donahue did where men actually got to talk a bit. The date, February 19, 1986. The show "Men, Sex & Power" from a workshop that Justine Sterling created. In fact, a number of the men in the audience had taken that program, and gave their gorilla growls (sort of like Tim does on "Home Improvement") The show featured five men on the stage and two plants in the audience. Donahue walked around the audience making statements and asking questions. In his hand were typed reference notes prepared by his producers. One page had a paragraph on each man on stage: name, what he does for work, marital and children status, and a few words taken from phone interviews (1). A second sheet has information on the two plants in the audience (3) and statements that they made that Donahue goes off on later in the show. Next, he's got a full page on each one of the five guests. Some of them note statements the men made that the staff knows will get negative audience reaction. They are usually in bold type. Leonard Goldstein (6), Tom Kelley (5), Tony Smith (9), Stuart Blaustein (8) who calls himself a male feminist and Ken Druck (2), who wrote The Secrets Men Keep. Another sheet lists what was to come up during the show on the Chiron (4) and another about tape insert of Goldie Hawn, which one of the men talked about in his interview, with in and out lines from the 1:04 minute tape (7). It even included "group applause" typed in at the end. I wish I still had the tape of the show. I think I sent it to Michigan State University which has a large Changing Men collection in its campus library. I remember three major things about this show. On the notes about Ken Druck, near the bottom a reminder to Donahue "Don't forget to talk about the BEER DRINKING..." It's a way to become just one of the boys"...And you certainly know what all that leads to. with a big underline here. which was Donahue's cue to do his drunk impression "Honey I'm home." which looked like it came from personal experience more than role-playing. He did the impression often, usually when there weren't many men in the audience. The second, was his interview with one of the plants, which I'm sure they put up on purpose to make men look bad. I was embarrassed for men. Third, at the end, Donahue shows his disgust, throws the script down and walks off. Thanks, Phil. That's how I got a copy of the script. A friend of a friend of a friend picked it up. Donahue was famous for finding ways to put men down, usually when they weren't present. On the few shows where men were the focal point, there was almost always a woman on stage to refute whatever they had to say. Not so when it was women talking about the Dead Beat Dad or the Broken Relationship or Spousal Abuse. Only one side of those stories were allowed. He only did one show on circumcision the whole time he was on the air, and swore he would never present that subject again. He did two that I remember on Fathers, over two years apart. Each had an audience full of dads and kids, from babies to pre-teens. I remember one comment he made was something to the effect that he must have all the single dads in the country right there in the studio. Another jab at men. Another show had men who had been physically abused by their wives, including stab wounds and women in the audience who admitted to being violent at their husbands. One woman was telling her story. She was angry that the police had cuffed her and taken her to the station, during the time her husband was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Phil asked what she did and she said she threw a staple gun at him, it bounced off the wall, hit him in the head with enough force to require something like 20 stitches. Donahue quips, "Oh, a bank shot, eh?" And the audience laughs. And, while he's gone, there have been plenty of talk-show hosts to replace him. They now get unsuspecting guys on who think the show is about patching up their relationship when it's really "How to Dump Your Boyfriend" on national TV. I've been on my share of talk-shows, from Oprah to Hour Magazine, and a number of local talk shows. You can really see, once you know, how it's set up, usually not to present men in a positive light, though around 1/3 of the viewing audience are men. There was an exception in one program on Donahue - and believe me, I used to tape three talk shows a day and edit them by subject so I had seen a lot of talk shows and how men are treated. It was during the summer and Phil was on vacation. They taped what had originally been planned for one hour, which he watched from home. He got so excited about the show that he had them continue taping to make a second show so he get down to the studio for it. (I remember we didn't get to see it in San Francisco because KGO-TV decided it didn't want it and did a re-run, as I remember, that was very male negative.) Now, most producers try to set things up especially to trigger a man into making a fool of himself. One of the women said something like, "Well, do you drum and run around nude in the woods. Joe Laur, a man that does week long survival trainings for men in the wilderness took a deep breath, looked at the woman, and in a nonjudgmental, no reactive way said, "What do you think?" At the end of the taping, Donahue, who was off screen in jeans and a shirt, was coaxed on stage, was asked to honor his father and grandfather, Phil and Phil, and left the stage, appearing somewhat embarrassed. Ironically, Ken Druck was also on this show, years after the original one. It was one of the cleanest, most honest portrayals of men doing their work and the talk show honestly presenting it without a lot of manipulation, ploys and shame. And, while it didn't make up for all the other put-downs of men who were really working to change their lives for the betterment of everyone around them, it was a welcomed start. Note: Here are Donahue's 9 pages of notes. They were originally on 8 1/2 x 11 paper. The only alteration I made was to trim the sides to make the type larger and still work within the format for this site.

1. , 2. , 3. , 4. , 5. ,

6. , 7. , 8. , 9. .

Norelco's Initial Response (10/30/00)

Subj: Re: Norelco Consumer Information Request
Date: 10/30/00 8:57:37 AM Pacific Standard Time

Thank you for your recent comments to Norelco regarding our television ads. We sincerely appreciate the time and concern you have given to share your view with us regarding this advertisement.

Norelco's reputation with millions of American consumers is founded on a history of selling reliable products that are advertised in an informative, positive manner. Our advertisements are tested by hundreds of individual consumers as well as research panel groups before we proceed with them. Both the advertising and marketing departments will receive a copy of your remarks.


Karen Leigh
Customer Care Specialist
Norelco Consumer Products Company
Stamford, CT


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Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter. - Max Beerbohm

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