Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 4

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Brad Lewis/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

July 4 - Independence Day (U.S.) - Declaration of Independence was approved by the Continental Congress. However, the official signing wasn't until August 2 (1776). It's a day to celebrate the right of all peoples to exercise nonviolent democratic self-determination. * Death day of Thomas Jefferson (1826) who ensured that the U.S. Constitution would protect basic rights and liberties. A Deist, he practiced a religion that was based on Nature, reason and ethics. * 10 am EDT: Earth Aphelion - when the earth is farthest from the sun. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Independence-from-Meat Day. * Sidewalk Egg Frying Day.* American the Beautiful published (1895) * Great Seal if the US proposed (1776). * Mars Pathfinder carried Sojourner, a roving robotic explorer that landed on Mars on this date in 1997. * Japan launched this mission to Mars, making it the third country (after the US and Russia) to attempt an interplanetary space mission. (1998) * President Truman proclaims the Philippines independent from the U.S. (1946). * Birthdays: Louis Mayer, Calvin Coolidge, Stephen Foster, Rube Goldberg, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Allen (Al) Davis, Harvey Grant, Geraldo Rivera, Neil Simon, George Michael Steinbrenner III., Jawann Oldham. Louis Armstrong Not Born this Day - though he often said he was born on the 4th of July. Documents indicated that he was actually born on August 4 of either 1900 or 1901. And a Special Birthday to Jim Schuneman.

Keep every family member safe from fireworks!

DAILY THOUGHTS

If your town has monuments dedicated to war heroes, today is a great day to visit them and explain the meaning behind the day. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Sparkler Caution. Lighting sparklers may seem like a harmless way to celebrate the Fourth, but they're quite dangerous. They reach temperatures of at least a thousand degrees and can ignite clothing. In more than half of the sparkler injuries, ad adult was present. To safeguard your child, don't let him hold sparklers and don't let him near anyone who is lighting sparklers or fireworks. Stick to public displays. Family Feelings

On this date in 1965, Barbara Gittings and other activists demonstrated in front of Philadelphia's Independence Hall. Purposefully wearing conservative clothes, they held signs reading "Homosexuals Should Be Judged as Individuals."  Their protest was repeated annually through 1969. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Would you believe that one of the most ravishing leading men in movie land history - Cary Grant - was insecure about his physical charms in middle life?  At fifty-nine, he refused to make Charade until the producers guaranteed he wouldn't have to attempt to seduce Audrey Hepburn, who was then more than twenty-five years his junior. New Passages

When I got out of the shower, I found a message in lipstick on the bathroom mirror. It said, "I'm waiting for you." - Dennis, 39. Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

There are two ways to confront or criticize another human being: with instinctive and spontaneous certainty that one is right, or with a belief that one is probably right arrived at through scrupulous self-doubting and self-examination. The first is the way of arrogance; it is the most common way of parents, spouses, teachers and people generally in their day-to-day affairs; it is usually unsuccessful, producing more resentment than growth and other effects that were not intended. The second is the way of humility; it is more likely to be successful, and it is never, in my experience, destructive. The Road Less Traveled

Hunt for red, white and blue!  Set up a game for the kids. To play, a timer calls out a color, like red. Searchers have five minutes to go outside and find red things. Now pick another color. The player who finds the most things wins! Then, to continue your Independence Day, salute this Red, White and Blue treat!  Place a scoop of vanilla ice cream in a dish. Add some blueberries, marshmallow cream and strawberries. To Do Today

Do little things in extraordinary ways. Achieve Your Dreams

The right barbecue accessories. Events that turn out surprisingly well. Cookout food. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Never, ever, miss the fireworks on the Fourth of July.  Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

A man was deeply ashamed about suffering from impotence and was filled with self-loathing. He knew his impotence resulted from feelings of unworthiness stemming from when his old girlfriend left him for another man, and he was unable to repair his self-esteem. He met a wonderful woman who loved him unconditionally. It took time for him to allow her unconditional acceptance of him to reflect its healing properties only his own damaged image of himself. He gradually allowed her to act as a mirror for his own self-acceptance, learned to love himself again, and his impotence vanished along with his negative feelings.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Intrinsic security doesn't come from what other people think of us or how they treat us. It doesn't come from our circumstances or our position. It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and heart. It comes from inside-out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Keeping a journal is an effective way to stay in touch with how you want to live your life. It can be a dream journal, a diet journal, a creativity journal, or a health journal. It can be full of thoughts you want to share with others, or as private as you want to make it.  Simplify Your Life

Noting is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away. - Tom Clancy. Win the Day!

La Barbacoa (barbahKOHah) Barbecue. A que hora va a ser la barbacoa?  What time is the barbecue? Living Language

What does freedom mean to you - relaxing in a hammock with a good book, having a picnic with family or friends, spending time in the mountain or on a beach?  Whatever it is, take time to enjoy your freedom today. Stress Busters

"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and injustice." -- Senator Robert F. Kennedy, Day of Affirmation Address at the University of Capetown, South Africa, 1966

*SPECIAL BIRTHDAY: Jim Schuneman (1944) has been a men's group leader for 20 years, developed the Shadow Workshop with friends 14 years ago, leads vision quests and enlightenment intensives, is dedicated to exploring the Great Mystery solo and with others. jschon@aol.com

TODAY'S ISSUE: INDEPENDENCE DAY AND FREEDOM

How's your Independence Day going? Are you independent or in-dependence? After a few weeks or months, most baby animals are ready for independence. Humans spend nearly a quarter of their lives just getting ready. If we're lucky, our families help us to grow straight, so we can stand alone. Growing up means learning to make decisions that are right for us, in tune with the larger design of our life as it is woven into the larger pattern. We'll always want other people for companionship, love and cooperative work, but by the time we're ready to choose how we want to live we should be able to stand by ourselves. Even when our families aren't able to give us the best start in life, we have the power to remake choices, rechoose activities and companions that will grow along with us. Our human parents may be precious loved ones or they may be strangers; the aim of our search for self-knowledge is the power to parent ourselves. We need steady nurturing all our lives, and no other person can supply it. I've enjoyed walking on this journey with you thus far. Here's to even greater independence for us all. Yours in continued growth and independence, Gordon Clay

Freedom means the right to be different, the right to be oneself - Ira Eisenstein. Each of us is a unique creature and has special gifts to contribute to the world. We were not free in the past because we were slaves to addictions and codependency. We know that freedom is precious. Compulsions and pressures for conformity stiffly our creativity and erode our dignity. As we grow in our relationship to our Higher Power, we get stronger and more balanced in our unique qualities. Some of us have a talent for empathizing with others, some for writing and art, others for sports and physical activities. There is no recipe that prescribes exactly what kind of men we should be. Because we're free, it is our creative task to discover what it means to be honest, masculine, contributing men within our particular circumstances. We don't get a list of directions for each day, only guidelines for progress. Through groups and friendships, we develop in our own ways and learn to respect each other's freedom. I am grateful for the freedom to be uniquely and fully myself. Touchstones

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Learn to say no (when you mean no), even if you think it may upset others. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Mr. Mean: Saving your relationshipo from the irritable male syndrome, Jed Diamond. Studies show that 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. As a marriage and family counselor who specializes in helping men and the women who love them, I’ve found that the hidden destroyer of good relationships is a phenomenon called “The Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS).” This book was written for the millions of women and men who want to understand how they can rescue their relationship, help their spouse, and save themselves. Vox Novus, 2010. ISBN 978-0-9842600-1-0

 

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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