Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 18

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Joe McBride/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

August 18 - Dakas' Day - Day Tantric Buddhists make offerings to Father Tantra; day to unit will and power to manifest positive social change and environmental healing. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * The 19th Amendment is ratified (1920) giving women the right to vote. * The first commercially produced oral contraceptives were marketed by the G. D. Seale Company of Illinois (1960). The pill had been undergoing clinical trials since 1954. * * Birthdays:  Rafer Johnson, Roberto Clemente, Meriwether Lewis, Lafayette (Fat) Lever, Martin Mull, Roman Polanski, Christian Slater, Patrick Swayze, Robert Redford.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Not only are people living much longer, but in social welfare societies like America and most of Western Europe, they are also more financially secure than ever. Men sixty-five and over are the only age group among American males whose money income picture improved over the eighteen years from 1974 to 1992. New Passages

Many people believe that parenting consists of making constant corrections. Actually, effective parenting - the art of positive direction - minimizes the need for correction. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

It may be possible to set aside our driveness about understanding and change, and instead aim for beauty and heartfelt expression as we present ourselves to the world and to those who are intimate with us. Soul Mates

There's nothing sexier than a woman who tells a man what she wants and how she wants it - Mitch, 35 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

To escape from the microcosm of our childhood experience, from the microcosm of our culture and its dogmas, from the half-truths our parents told us, it is essential that we be skeptical about what we think we have learned to date. It is the scientific attitude that enables us to transform our personal experience of the microcosm into a personal experience of the macrocosm. We must begin by becoming scientists. The Road Less Traveled

Without some goal and some effort to reach it, no one can live. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Replenishing the soul. Empty crab shells on the beach. The school bus schedule. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

If it doesn't bleed, you won't get much sympathy.  Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Identity and release the patterns that you are repeating. As any good facilitator or therapist will tell you, this is not an easy task, since it means you have to change, and change is not always easy. Staying just as you are may not help you advance spiritually, but it certainly is comfortable in its familiarity. You grooved your patterns a long time ago as a way of protecting yourself. Moving into unfamiliar new behavior can be uncomfortable, not to mention at times frightening.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

During his years in office, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, who was thought to be gay, spied on many gay rights organizations and activists, destroying the professional lives of many gay men and lesbians when he turned over their names to the military, government agencies, and other employers.  Gay & Lesbian Calendar

We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Break your routine once in a while. Partly what this does is create some confusion and some insecurity in your psyche. This is beneficial because it forces you to think about what you're doing. It gives you a chance to take a close look at whether your routine activities are contributing to your inner growth, or if they're just something else you feel you have to do.  Simplify Your Life

Get Tight-Lipped Kids to Open Up:  To get my 3-year-old daughter to tell me more about her day at preschool, I ask her to play a game of "pretend". I pretend to be her, while she plays the role of her teacher. She mimics her teacher's comments and tells me how to react and what to say. It's a lot of fun playing together, plus I get all the details I wanted to hear about her day at school. Parents Tips & Tricks

If you're in the habit of bringing office work home over the weekend, give yourself a weekend holiday and just relax for two days instead. You may be surprised at how much more energy you have for the work on Monday after giving yourself a rest from it. Stress Busters

Fumble the gum. With your kids, divide the kids into two teams and have each stand in a line. At "Go!" the first person in each line guts on gloves, opens a stick of gum, puts in in their mouth, takes off the gloves, then hands them and the gum pack to the next person. The first line to finish wins! To Do Today

Wasting your time in anxious worry over what you may not have is a good way to waste what you need to get it. - Guy Finley Win the Day!

Entregarse (ehntrehGAHRseh) To devote oneself. Se entrega totalmente a su familia. She is totally devoted to her family. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: HATRED

"The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. - Eldridge Cleaver. Love and hate are simple emotions, and we learn them early. Love starts with the wish to merge our identity with another's, and hate is the opposite, the wish to separate or cut off. Because we are part of one human family, we have a basic love for our fellow creatures. When we learn to hate some of them, our negative feelings clash with this basic love, and the clash consumes energy we could use for better things. Hatred is energy-intensive. At first it seems to liberate energy, but keeping negative feelings going soon exhausts our emotional reserves. We love everything less - our spouses, children, parents, ourselves, life itself. Hatred is like a vacuum, sucking up the forces that should power our creativity. If we trace hatred to its root, the anger of an infant whose wishes are denied, we can see how close it is to love. Why should we consume ourselves in negative feelings?  We deserve better from our lives than the bitter taste of hatred. Humility and acceptance can help us to let go of hate; if we call on our spiritual guide, we'll be flooded with its love. Today I deserve my own love and approval. They're more precious than any rewards of hatred. Family Feelings

"Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one. - Hugh Downs. On those occasions when we find the bigger man within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we could learn to be big enough to set aside our fears. Do we bear ill will toward someone today?  When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person?  What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger man within. Touchstones

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Today, I have the inner strength to face my fears. I will not send them outward as hatred. Touchstones Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Breakup by Leo Averbach. Forged in divorce hell. In this compelling and brutally honest memoir The author draws you into the cauldron of marital disintegration. Written as a journal in real time, this book interweaves the writer's daily ordeal and the couple's ongoing travails with the insights and experience of psychotherapy. It chronicles the author's struggle to cope with his wife's betrayal and its implications for their family. His first-person narrative, which is confessional and deeply reflective, reveals everything in describing the acrimony and emotions as the marriage falls apart. But what begins as a tale of anguish and despair becomes a story of transformation and regeneration, leaving the author to a new life. Llumkina Press, www.llumina.com, 2009, ISBN 978-1-60594-427-2

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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