Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 5

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Didier Givois/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

August 5 - Battle of Mobile Bay (1864) when a Union fleet under Admiral David Farragut attempted to run past three Confederate forts into Mobile May, AL. After coming under fire, the Union fleet headed into a maze of underwater mines, known at that time as torpedoes. The ironclad Tecumseh was sunk by a torpedo, after which Farragut is said to have exclaimed, "Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead."  The Union fleet was successful and Mobile Bay was secured. * Federal Income Tax was signed into law by Abraham Lincoln (1861). * First English Colony in North America was established (1583) by Sir Humphrey Gilbert, English navigator and explorer. He was lost at sea in a storm off the Azores on his return trip to England. * Raoul Wallenberg, Swedish architect, was born at Stockholm Sweden (1912). He was the second person in history (Winston Churchill was the first) to be voted honorary American citizenship. He is credited with saving 100,000 Jews from almost certain death at the hands of the Nazis during WWII. He was arrested by Soviet troops at Budapest, Hungary in 1945 and according to the official Soviet press agency Tass, died in prison at Moscow in 1947. * John Elliot, the American "Apostle to the Indians", translator of the Bible into an Indian tongue (the first Bible to be printed in America), was born (1604). * Birthdays: Conrad Aiken,  John Huston, Neil Alden Armstrong, Patrick Aloysius Ewing, John Saxon, Sammi Smith, Robert Taylor.

DAILY THOUGHTS

On this day in 1875, the Convention of Colored Newspapermen is held in Cincinnati, Ohio. African American History

The ultimate goal of life remains the spiritual growth of the individual, the solitary journey to peaks that can be climbed only alone. Significant journeys cannot be accomplished without the nurture provided by a successful marriage or a successful society. Marriage and society exist for the basic purpose of nurturing such individual journeys. But, as is the case with all genuine love, "sacrifices" on behalf of the growth of the other result in equal or greater growth of the self. The Road Less Traveled

Don't use generic names in bed like "baby". I want to hear my name. - Lynn, 22. I wish women were more willing to participate in anal sex - David 25. (My question for David: Do you mean "participate" or be the "receiver only?  Are you willing to "participate" by opening to anal entry with a large dildo, yourself?) Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

The rule of nots: If crying infants are not in any physical distress, not in pain, not hungry, and not wet or soiled, let them be. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Men in Second Adulthood who still find meaning in their work or develop passionate interests or hobbies who also expand the intimacy in their marries, and who invest in their physical health and strength, seldom have potency problems. New Passages

Willing to gamble. Lloyd's of London, originally a marine insurance agency, later broadened its scope considerably and insured:  John Glenn, astronaut, the Titanic, the Andrea Doria, San Francisco (against earthquakes), Jimmy Durante's nose, Betty Grable's and Fred Astaire's leg, among other coverages. The Old Farmer's Almanac

Things to Be Happy About:  A clear mountain pool. Toasted-almond ice cream. Stubby pigtails. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Don't worry about crossing the street until you get to the curb. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious, daily patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness - or ineffectiveness.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

What television show aired the first lesbian kiss? (Answer.) Gay & Lesbian Calendar

5 & 6 Years - Weight Gain: Is heredity destiny? Did nature or nurture produce the 10 million overweight kids in the U.S.?  Though researchers have recently identified a so-called fta gene, heredity doesn't bear sole responsibility for the problem. Researchers who studied children between ages 3 and 5 evaluated the roles that diet, exercise, and genetics played in how much weight gain these children experienced over a three-year period. The researchers found that fat intake - even more than total calorie consumption - was the best predictor of future obesity. Surprisingly, genetics seemed to play a larger role with boys who were more likely than girls to be overweight if either their father or mother was obese. Parents Tips & Tricks

To keep from being overheated when working or playing outside on a hot day, keep a spray bottle filled with ice water in a small six-pack cooler and spray water over your skin from time to time to help you cool off. Stress Busters

Burst as many water balloons on your head as you can to win this game! To play give each player about 24 water balloons in a bucket. Players have two minutes to throw balloons up and have them land on their heads and pop. Whoever pops the most wins. To Do Today

The principle (excellence) is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before. - Steve Young. Win the Day!

Relajarse (rehlahHAHRseh) To relax. Necesitas relajarte. You need to relax. Living Language

Answer:  L.A. Law in 1990.

TODAY'S ISSUE: CONFLICT

It is a good rule in life never to apologize - P. G. Wodehouse Painful as it can be, conflict does sometimes arise. Of course, conflict takes a great deal of energy and as we grow stronger in our conviction to do next to nothing, we must inevitably face the fact that this includes fighting, even if we are in the right. We must always bear in mind that while conflict can be healthy (unless of course somebody is armed), there are easier, less tiring ways of getting our point across. We can reason our way to resolution. We can tell them the check is in the mail, the load is on the trick. We can tell them that we didn't mean anything by that last remark, some of our best friends are Polish. Spontaneous sleep is another option. It doesn't look good to hit a narcoleptic. Feigned drunkenness works. So does actual drunkenness. Pretend you've temporarily taken leave of your senses, lost your ability to swallow properly. Nobody wants to get drooled on just to make a point. The glasses thing doesn't work anymore, but nobody hits a blind man. There are always alternatives to conflict. Peace on earth begins with me. Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

In fact, the conflict itself is creative and perhaps should never be healed. Thomas Moore. Very often men seek to remove conflict. At times that's the best move to make. But hoping for an end to all conflict is unrealistic. Conflict is natural; it's part of living in community rather than in isolation. When conflict arises, I can take it as a great opportunity to practice my skills. I can explore, appreciate, and learn from each circumstance. If someone flirts with my wife, I get to practice handling my jealousy and anger. In a disagreement with a coworker, I can practice seeing a task in a new way. If my teenage son wants to dye his hair purple and put a ring in his nose, I get to practice tolerance and compromise. No matter how disagreeable on the outside, every conflict has a delicious sweet at its core - a great teaching hidden in its middle. To pray that a conflict will disappear before it has done its work on me will only lead me further into darkness. To meet conflicts with an enthusiastic good nature, to work at each one until I discover its hidden teaching, is to live wisely and fully. Today I accept the presence of conflict in my life. I have the choice to embrace conflicts, to learn from them, to use them to grow. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

You're right from your side, I'm right from mine. Bob Dylan. Between family members, especially parents and children, most disputes are settled in terms of power, not intrinsic right and wrong. From "I don't want to go to bed" to "Can I have the car tonight?" parent-child conflicts tend to be controlled by whoever owns the bed or the car. Because parents hold most of the cards in these games, it's only polite for them to acknowledge the rightness of the child's position. Yes, it's understandable that you want to stay up and play/read/watch TV, but you have to go to school in the morning and you won't be as bright as you should be if you don't get a full night's sleep. I understand that you want to use my car tonight, but I have plans that I can't cancel. Next time tell me in advance, and we'll work something out. Acknowledging the merit of another person's position can only strengthen one's own position. If we truly believe there is rightness on the other side, then humility compels us to find stronger reasons for our own. And if we show our children we can be generous opponents, we earn their respect for the next conflict. Once in a while, we may even be convinced by them. Conflict can be creative. When I'm part of an argument, what have I to learn from it? Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. It takes two to decide the conversation is over. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Sex at Dawn: The prehistoric origins of modern sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are staying married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages. How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to the authors' renegade thinking While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book. Their central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care and often sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy and pschosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation and generosity. With intelligence, humor and wonder, the authors show how our promiscuous past haunts out struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens' why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women/ why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, this book unapologetic ally upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. 2010, www.SexAtDawn.com, HarperCollins, www.harpercollins.com, ISBN 978-0-06-170780-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

 *    *    *
Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay