Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 24

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Achieve Your Dreams

February 24 - Independence Day in Estonia.* Evening vigil for lost children; night of mourning and healing. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year. * Pope Gregory XIII, enlacing the expertise of distinguished astronomers and mathematicians, issues a bull correcting the Julian calendar that was then 10 days in error (1582). The correction was a minor one, changing the rule about leap years. The new Gregorian calendar was named for him.* In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran calls for the death of Salman Rushdie, the author of The Satanic Verses. * In a showdown over reconstruction policy following the Civil War, the House of Representatives voted to impeach President Andrew Johnson. During the two years following the end of the war, the Republican-controlled Congress had sought to severely punish the South. Congress passed the Reconstruction Act that divided the South into five military districts headed by officers who were to take their orders from General Grant, the head of the army, instead of from President Johnson. Johnson vetoed this act but the veto was overridden by Congress. To test the constitutionality of the act, Johnson dismissed Secretary of War, which triggering the impeachment vote. The Senate vote of 35-19 fell one vote short of the two-thirds majority needed for impeachment. * Birthdays: Barry Bostwick, Wilhelm Carl Grimm, Winslow Homer, Schuster Nakita, Honus Wagner, James Farentino, Steven Hill, Rupert Holmes, Steven Jobs, Mark Lane, Michel Legrand, Eddie Clarence Murray, Edward James Olmos, John Vernon, Abe Vigoda.

Don't reach for the saltshaker out of habit!

DAILY THOUGHTS

Every Man is entitled to be valued by his best moments. - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Too often we reflect on those times that we didn't "perform", didn't live up to someone else's expectations. And others often judge us when we're at our worst. Rarely do men judge other men by recalling their finest moments. Even sports stars, men who have perfected a fastball or a jump shot, or skated a perfect 10, are now scrutinized unmercifully by the press, and like lemmings, many of us are falling right in line and criticizing these great athletes on the basis of their last failure rather than their last success. It will elevate me and my peers to begin viewing other men in their best light, at their best moments. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Women of the Me and Vietnam Generations (born 1946-65), now in their thirties and forties, are expected to spend nearly three-quarters of their lives working outside the home, a change without precedent in history. The number of married mothers working full time who have one or more preschool children at home tripled between 1961 and 1991, jumping to 60 percent. New Passages

The Intimacy of Silence. Behold, I do not give lectures or a little charity, When I give I give myself. - Walt Whitman. We men often catch a lot of flak about how little we speak. Our lovers tell us we should say more about our feelings. To an extent they're right. But we must also accept that we men have lived in a fairly silent world for centuries, and that the ability to be silent has often saved our lives. We want to learn to articulate our needs, wounds, and desires, but we won't lose sight of the wonder of wordless conversation. We may love words, but as we grow older we can find increasing value in the shoulder-to-shoulder intimacy that men have shared for so long. If our silent way confuses those we love, we'll try to help them understand it. But we won't give up this kind of intimacy just to make someone else more comfortable. In time, those who wish we talked more may themselves acquire a taste for quiet. Today I'll enjoy the intimacy of silence, the understanding in the eyes, the support of a touch, the love in the wave of a hand. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. The Road Less Traveled

Encourage your child to read the classics, such as Tom Sawyer, A Tale of Two Cities, and Little Women. Books like these present timeless moral dilemmas. As the characters wrestle with good versus evil, your child learns indirectly the right thing to do. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

An Easy Ice-Breaker. At her children's parties, my sister asks young guests to bring a baby picture. Then she displays the photos on the wall and whoever is able to correctly guess the most identities wins a prize. It's a great way to start off the day's activities. Parents Tips & Tricks

 Only those who are able to relax can create, and then ideas reach the mind like lightning. - Cicero. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: Hearing your spouse brag about you. Honey-lemon tea. Receiving a single rose presented with love. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

 Shortcuts aren't always. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

 In order to rise to the challenge of embracing your role as a perpetual student, you need to learn the lessons of surrender, commitment, humility, and flexibility. Without these important lessons, you will never be able to open you mind, heart and sprit wide enough to allow yourself to take in all that life has to teach you. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

As you authentically seek to understand, as you rephrase content and reflect feeling, you give a person psychological air. You also help this person work through his or her own thoughts and feelings. As this person grows in his or her confidence of your sincere desire to really listen and understand, the barrier between what's going on inside him or her and what's actually being communicated to you disappears. It opens a soul-to-soul flow. This person is not thinking and feeling one thing and communicating another. This person begins to trust you with his or her innermost tender feelings and thoughts.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

In 1951, the book The Homosexual in America was published. Written by Edward Sagarin, the book was the first major work printed in the United States that documented the gay experience and advocated for gay liberation. Ironically, its author was too closeted to sign his name to the work, which was published under the pseudonym Donald Webster Cory. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Be sure to include your daughters in your natural look program. Just imagine the hassles you could save them - and the positive self-esteem you could build - if they never became enchanted with the beauty-in-a-jar myth. Simplify Your Life

Do you have difficulty resisting sales pitches on the phone or at your door, and is this contributing to financial stress? Immediately tell the salesperson your family policy is NEVER to commit any money over the phone or at the door, and repeat this if the salesperson presses you for a contribution or a sale. If you want, invite the salesperson to give or send you material, which you can look over later if you choose to. Stress Busters

Get two floating feathers. Divide into teams. Each team takes a feather and stands in line. Players blow the feather down the line. But if it drops, the team must start over. The first to finish wins.  To Do Today

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. - Theodore Roosevelt. Win the Day!

Romantic Love. In the beginning there was ecstasy. Then there was the shock of reality. Now there is the challenge of your differences. The earlier ecstasy pointed the way to what is possible, but you must live your lives into the miracle of spiritual oneness. You cannot hang on to first bliss and think it is the whole of love. Yet, so many do, constantly trying to get back to the beginning, when that's all it can ever be - the beginning. Romantic love is so enchanting as the two of you find one another in the fullness of passion's embrace. Never has anyone been so special, no perfect. Created just for you. But it lasts for just a short time. Then the spell is broken. Now your relationship requires conscious participation. Do you care enough to do the lovework that will safely turn your differences into a mosaic - into the magic of differences? Romantic love enticed you. Real life invites you. The heavens wait for your answer. "A good marriage is one that can survive the ninety-day euphoria of romantic love." Edward Abbey. Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

Never order spaghetti on a first date. Life's Little Instruction

Tener Frio (tehNEHR FREEoh) To be cold. Tengo frio. I'm cold.  Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: OLD AGE

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach.

The history of fashion is full of examples of suffering for the sake of beauty, from the ritual scars of tribal societies to the cosmetic surgery of our own tribe. We see and hear references to celebrities who have their noses trimmed or their tummies tucked, as though flesh were as malleable and unfeeling as cloth, as though every mark on our bodies didn't also mark our minds and spirits.

Where do we get the idea that "we" are somehow separate from our bodies? For the sake of civilization, all young children must learn to mute or deafen their flesh. Did we learn also that a neat appearance could front for a disordered spirit? We can't scream or speak when we want to; we must learn to speak language instead of squeals and groans; we;re taught, in fact, to disregard most of the desires of our bodies, and we have great difficulty sorting these out.

But as we age, we grow more comfortable. Desire loses some of its urgency and most of its novelty. We have the confidence of years of successful cooperation with the demands society places on our physical being; we can relax. A great deal of anxiety accompanies youth's quest for beauty. One dividend of aging is that we find beauty in comfort.

Thought for today. I can see in the old and young of my own family how our flesh is tamed and then released. Old age, I see, has its advantages. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Recognize that there are times in life when we cannot fix or help the ones we love. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

 

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Manhood: The pleasures and regrets of a husband, father and son by Michael Chabon. A shy manifesto, an impractical handbook, the true story of a fabulist, an entire life in parts and pieces, this book is the first sustained work of personal writing from the author. In these insightful, provocative, slyly interlinked essays, one of our most brilliant and humane writers presents his autobiography and his vision of life in the way so many of us experience our own lives: as a series of reflections, regrets and reexaminations, each sparked by an encounter, in the present, that holds some legacy of the past. HarperCollins, www.harpercollings.com, 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-149018-7

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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