Daily Thoughts & Issues IN THIS ISSUE: JUNE 6 Daily Thoughts Book of the Day Book of the Week Photo of the Week Today's Issue: Isolation, Intimacy Tomorrow's Issue: Homophobia, Gay Issues. See the list of the issues for International Men's Month. Menstuff columns by Author Awareness events this month Upcoming Men's Events Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001 Photo of the Week Bill Hatcher/Adventure Photo & Film Achieve Your Dreams June 6 - International Men's Month. * D-Day - Allied sea and airborne units invade Normandy under the command of General Eisenhower (1944). * Securities and Exchange Commission created (1934). * California voters (65% of them) supported a primary election ballot initiative to cut property taxes 57 percent as a taxpayer's revolt against high taxes and government spending. (1978). * Soyuz 11 (USSR) launch (1971) with 3 cosmonauts and docked with the space station for the first time and conducted scientific experiments. They were the first humans to die in space during their return June 30. *The city of Memphis surrendered to a Union flotilla (1872) effectively opening up the Mississippi region. * Independence Day in Sweden. * Birthdays: Nathan Hale, Gary (U. S. Bonds) Anderson, Thomas Mann, Bjorn Rune Borg, Dalai Lama, Kenny G (Gorelick), Aram (Ilich) Khachaturian, Alexander Pushkin, David Dukes, Harvey Fierstein, Billie Whitelaw. *SPECIAL BIRTHDAY: Marian Wright Edelman DAILY THOUGHTS Before three hundred gay pride marchers paraded through the streets of Bozeman, Montana, in June 1997, members of the town's Klu Klux Klan distributed flyers warning residents to stay inside and not breathe the air in order to avoid getting AIDS. Gay & Lesbian Calendar The How-To on Tucking in Baby. The guidelines for preventing SIDS allow babies to sleep with light cotton blankets. It's the think, fluffy blankets and comforters that can be dangerous. In children 1 year and older, an excess of carbon dioxide in the blood triggers an internal alarm to wake up and get some oxygen, but that trigger is not yet mature in younger babies. If a light cotton blanket won't keep your baby warm, dress him in layers. Family Feelings Grown men can learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older children miss - Black Elk Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar I like to get a chocolate eclair, suck out the cream and then put it on my husband's penis and eat it off - Ursula, 37. Make one day a month an all-sex day - Matt 36 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know A Dream Come True: Friday night's dream on Saturday told, Will always come true, no matter how old. Your first dream in a new house always comes true. Your first dream under a new quilt always comes true. And, tell a dream before breakfast to make it come true. The Old Farmer's Almanac The true leader inspires in others self-trust, guiding their eyes to the spirit, the goal. - Bronson Alcott. Achieve Your Dreams Things to Be Happy About:  The zen of ironing. Armloads of wildflowers. Dawn's first light.  14,000 Things to Be Happy About Sometimes when you're first, you get stuck holding the door open for everyone else. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me How much negative energy is typically expended when people try to solve problems or make decisions in an interdependent reality?  How much time is spent in confessing other people's sins, politicking, rivalry, interpersonal conflict, protecting one's backside, masterminding, and second-guessing?  It's like trying to drive down the road with one foot on the gas and the other foot on the brake.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People We do not walk around with our hearts wide open all the time; doing so would leave us overwhelmed and in emotional danger. If you kept your heart open and exposed while watching the six o'clock news every night, you would most likely never recover from the rush of helpless and hopeless feelings created by all the tragic stories. Sometimes it is necessary to keep your emotional barriers up as a way to protect yourself. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules The automobile is another convenience we tend to misuse. Because it's so easy to hp in and drive away, we don't think about all the extra time we spend doing things we wouldn't do, and maybe don't really need to do, if we didn't have the car that makes it so "easy". Simplify Your Life "It's not what you think you are; it's that you are what you think." - Unknown. How we interpret events and what we say to ourselves about those events is what determines how stressed we feel.  Stress Busters With the Kids:  Score big shooting hoops!  Each player has 60 seconds to shoot the basketball. To score, shoot from 8 yards for 4 points, from 5 yards for 3 points, from 3 yards for 2 points, lay-ups are 1 point. The highest score wins!  To Do Today All successful employers are stalking men who will do the unusual, men who think, men who attract attention by performing more than is expected of them. - Charles Schwab.  Win the Day! El trago (TRAHgoh) Gulp. Bebelo de un trago. Drink it in one gulp. Living Language TODAY'S ISSUE: ISOLATION, INTIMACY I don't have any substantial research on the subject, but I truly believe that coupled relationships started to deteriorate when Detroit went to bucket seats. They forced us to be separated from someone we loved. See a couple in a pickup truck. Chances are, they aren't on opposite sides of the cab. By removing that side-by-side intimacy, we all lost something. The next time you go to a restaurant, find a table that you can sit next to each other. Experience side-by-side intimacy without eye-to-eye contact. It's different, it's close, it's warm - something that's difficult to get sitting across a table from someone. It's just like a desk in an office. If you want to separate yourselves from others, you put the guest chairs on the other side of the desk. If you prefer to remove barriers with your clients and coworkers, have the guest chair(s) at the side of the desk without any obstructions between you. Just feel the difference. I often think of the words of Stan Dale many years ago when he spelled the word "intimacy". He spelled it "in to me you see". Allowing one to work with that definition removes the need for intimacy to include touch or sex, something some people have a difficult if not impossible time understanding. I'm not saying the you can't have sex through intimacy. But I do think few people really have any real intimacy when they're being sexual. If we remove the stigma that intimacy it touch and touch is sexual, it also allows us a closer connection with everyone. And, then we can learn what real intimacy is - to really see someone and to be seen. And, because our culture has developed such a hatred for gay and lesbian people, it makes many men hold themselves apart from that close, physical, non-sexual connection that most other men around the world enjoy with each other. No A-frame hugs in Athens. No bear hugs in Bali. No kisses in America. Russian men don't worry about kissing or being kissed by another man. Nor men in France or Greece or Peru or Bali or...and I could go on. Aaron Lynch, in his book Thought Contagion, theorizes that homosexuality and its taboo affect the popularity of various sexual fetishes common to heterosexual males. A big breast fetish evolves and spreads among boys eager to declare an orientation. "By voicing attraction to protruding breasts, males can publicly imply their exclusive heterosexuality--because protruding breasts are only noticed publicly on females." Explaining why this differs from culture to culture, he notes that in Europe where males hold less fear of latent homosexuality, the culture places less emphasis on large breasts. Interesting. For a through review of homophobia and how it damages gay and straight men alike, click here. Behold, I do not give lectures or a little charity, when I give, I give myself - Walt Whitman. We men often catch a lot of flak about how little we speak. Our lovers tell us we should say more about our feelings. To an extent they're right. But we must also accept that we men have lived in a fairly silent world for centuries, and that the ability to be silent has often saved our lives. We want to learn to articulate our needs, wounds and desires, but we won't lose sight of the wonder of wordless conversation. We may love words, but as we grow older we can find increasing value in the shoulder-to-shoulder intimacy that men have shared for so long. If our silent way confuses those we love, we'll try to help them understand it. But we won't give up this kind of intimacy just to make someone else more comfortable. In time, those who wish we talked more may themselves acquire a taste for quiet. Today, I'll enjoy the intimacy of silence, the understanding in the eyes, the support of a touch, the love in the wave of a hand. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul, Bantam. If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life - Rodney Dangerfield. Human beings were not made to live in isolation. If we were, there would be no such thing as stadium concerts with festival seating. I like to get close, real close, to my fellow human beings. Women, I mean. I find that a bus at rush hour is a great place to achieve intimacy. So they usually don't look as good as Barbara Dare, but they have one thing going for them. They're three-dimensional. It's just not enough to watch all the time. Sometimes I have to get involved, as long as that involvement is confined to the eight-block stint on the cross-town express. I deserve a soul mate. I deserve two. Preferably at the same time. Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing (and would like to do even less), Warner For books on intimacy, men's groups Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Have those important conversations with significant people in your life. The things we are afraid to say may be more important than the daily jabber that fills our lives. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?. BOOK OF THE DAY Buddy System: Understanding male friendships, Geoffrey L. Greif BOOK OF THE WEEK Reducing Infant Mortality and Improving the Health of Babies. A documentary film supporting maternal/infant health care. The societal economic cost for preterm births is over $26 billion a year: almost $17 billion in medical care services, $6 billion in lost household and labor productivity, another $2 billion in maternal delivery costs, a little over $1 billion in special education care for disabling conditions, and over $600 million in early intervention services. This film is at the forefront of the birth revolution in America! It is a must-see for everyone who cares about birth in America today and particularly expectant parents., DVD, 2009 www.reducinginfantmortality.com, debtaki@yahoo.com (free)   MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered - www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html Plus Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH June is Adopt-A-Shelter Cat; Cancer from the Sun; Children's Awareness; Entrepreneurs "Do It Yourself" Marketing; Fireworks Safety; *Gay & Lesbian Pride Coming Out Month - Time to celebrate all forms of love and family; International Men's; International People Skills; National Bless-a-Child; National Burglary Prevention; National Rivers; National Safety; National Scleroderma Awareness; Rebuild Your Life; Student Safety; Vision Research and National Headache Awareness Month. Jun 1-30 is International Men's Month - See List of Men's Issues & Book of the Day. Each day at "Today" on our home page, we will be presenting information on a different men's issue. The issue changes each day at midnight, so check in to learn more about "Men's Issues" and men's lives. We will also have a Book of the Day concerning that issue. This might be the perfect time to sign up for our free newsletter which will bring all of this to you each morning. Spread the word and let everyone in your address book know. May 14-Jun 18: National Family Month. Week of June 1-7: International Volunteers; Stepparents Week. June 2-9: National Homeownership Week. June 2-10: National Fishing Week. June 3-9: Black Single Parents, National Hug Holiday, *Small Business Week. June 7-14: Nurses Assistants Day and Week. June 10-16: *National Flag Week. June 11-17:  Meet a Mate, *National Little League Baseball; National Men's Health Week in the U.S. and Canada. June 13-20: National Hermit Week. June 17-23: National Forgiveness; Universal Father's Week. June 17-24: Amateur Radio Week. June 18-22:  Take Your Pet to Work Week. June 24-30: Carpenter Any Awareness; Helen Keller Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 1: National New Year's Resolution Recommitment; Stand for Children Day that encourages individuals to improve children's lives. www.stand.org. June 1-2 Donut; Partner's Day - Day to give thanks to your spouse/partner for precious love shared. June 2: Mindfulness; National Trails Day; June 3: Children's Awareness, June 4: United Nationals International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression. June 5: Alternative Officing, National Family, United Nations World Environment Day - Day to mourn the harm done to the earth (past and present), make reparation and celebrate its beauty. June 9: Take a Kid Fishing Weekend. June 10: Abused Women and Children's Awareness Day; Alcoholics Anonymous founded. Children's Sunday. June 11:  Race Unity Day. June 14: *Flag Day,  Family History; Sustainable Development Day - Day the world's nations committed to sustainable development (1992). June 15: Magna Carta Day. June 16: *Father's Day, Family Awareness, United Nations World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought, Join Hands Day. June 19: National Splurge; Still Need to Do; World Sauntering Day. June 20:  World Juggling; Toad Hollow Day of Thank You. June 21:  Baby Boomers Recognition Day. June 23: Let It Go Day. June 24: Celebration of the Senses; America's Kids Day. June 26: UN International Day in Support of Victims of Torture; United Nations International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking; National Columnist's Day. June 27: National HIV Testing; Special Recreation for Disabled, Decide to Be Married Day. June 28: Stonewall Riots - (1969), day to mourn victims of homophobia (past and present), make peace, and celebrate lesbian and gay empowerment. June 29: Peter & Paul Day. June 30: Descendants Day.  *    *    * Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life. Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement Menstuff® Directory Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay ©1996-2023, Gordon Clay