Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 17

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Eric Sandord/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

July 17 - The Black Inventor's Museum was establishing in 1992 in Los Angeles by Valerie J. Robinson; the museum's first financial donor was rap singer Ice Cube. African American History * Disneyland opens today in Anaheim, CA (1955) and attracts 4 million visitors in its first year. * Vigil for peaceful, democratic self-determination and respect for the human rights of all in Indonesia. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Kansas City Hotel Disaster (1981) when an aerial walkway at the Hyatt Regency Hotel collapse killing 114 people. * "Wrong Way" Corrigan. Douglas Groce Corrigan left Brooklyn in 1938 ostensibly headed for Los Angeles in a 1929 Curtis Robin monoplane. He landed 28 hours and 3,150 miles later in Dublin, Ireland after a nonstop flight without radio or special navigation equipment. He claimed to have accidentally followed the wrong end of his compass needle.* Apolo-Soyuz test project (US, USSR) after three years of planning, negotiation and preparation, the first US-USSR joint space project reached fruition. (1975) They were linked for 47 hours while point experiments and transfer of personnel and materials back and forth between craft took place. * Anniversary of the collapse of aerial walkways at the Hyatt Regency Hotel at Kansas City, MO (1981). About 1,500 people were attending the popular weekly tea dance when, at about 7 pm, two concrete and steel skywalks that were suspended from the ceiling of the hotel's atrium broke loose and fell on guests killing 114 people. * Russian Czar Nicholas II, his wife Alexandra and son and heir Alexis and daughters Anastasia, Tatiana, Olga and Marie were executed by firing squad (1818). Soviet officials, concerned about advancing pro-monarchist forces, executed the royal family rather than have them serve as a rallying point for the White Russians. * General Francisco Franco led an uprising of army troops based in North Africa against the elected government of the Spanish Republic. Spain was quickly divided into a Nationalist and a Republican zone. Franco's Nationalists drew support from Fascist Italy and Nazi Germany. Franco ruled as dictator in Spain from 1936 until his death in 1975. * The B-2 Stealth bomber airplane was flown successfully over the desert near Palmdale, CA (1989) for almost two hours. A decade of work and $22 billion reportedly were spent on the project prior to the first flight. Designed to penetrate Soviet radar, the B-2 Stealth bomber was said to be capable of delivering up to 25 tons of nuclear or other bombs. * Birthdays: David Hasselhoff, Erle Stanley Gardner, Pat McCormick, Donald Sutherland, Robert Thomas (Bobby) Thigpen, Aaron Lansky, Alex Winter.

DAILY THOUGHTS

People have always equated potency with power and continue to do the same thing with men today. As a result, the slightest hint of demising performance can create performance anxiety. Men who are afraid to perform pull away from intimacy. They stop hugging and even holding hands. They become socially isolated. New Passages (This may be true for some men. However, how it happened for me is that it allowed greater intimacy because the sexual energy wasn't connected to it. My ability to be more closely connected with both sexes increased since it was based in true intimacy and not sexual activity. As Stan Dale spells it, "In To Me You See" has been the outcome, and a pleasant one at that.)

Some social scientists believe that children lose 90 percent of their natural creativity by age seven. Why?  Formal education demands that they sit quietly while they're taught. New Passages (And now we have drugs to insure that our young children will sit quietly. Let's hear it for science and psychology's conquering of the free spirit all in the guise of fitting in. Fitting in to what, I might ask?)

Community arises when we discover the interesting, if radical, alternative of giving attention to the desires and intentions of others. Soul Mates

The best birthday present I ever got was when she spread cake icing all over me and licked it off - Rob, 28. Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

The loving person is frequently in a dilemma, caught between a loving respect for the beloved's own path in life and a responsibility to exercise loving leadership when the beloved appears to need such leadership. The Road Less Traveled

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. - Samuel Johnson Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy about: Broiled grapefruit. Scattered freckles. The duffel bag that holds everything. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

As long as you don't look ahead in the workbook, you can make it through today's lesson. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Remaining rooted in truth means giving up the bliss of ignorance. But living from within truth gives life luster. It is what brings you to your authentic self and makes life an astonishing and meaningful experience.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Direct control problems (those involving our own behavior) are solved by working on our habits. Indirect control problems (those involving other people's behavior are solved by changing our methods of influence. I have personally identified over 30 separate methods of human influence - as separate as empathy is from confrontation, example from persuasion. Most people have only three of four of these methods in their repertoire, starting usually with reasoning, and, if that doesn't work, moving on to flight or fight. How liberating to accept the idea that I can learn new methods of human influence instead of constantly trying to use old, ineffective methods to "shape up" someone else!  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

When English painter David Hockney studied at the Royal College of Art from 1959 to 1962, he was open about being gay. In the 1974 documentary A Bigger Splash, a semi-biographical piece about Hockney's life, he speaks candidly about his relationship with model Peter Schlesinger. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Make a list of all the things you've done right, and all the things for which you have to be grateful. Look at your family, your friends, your home, your car, your town, your health, your job. It may not all be perfect at the moment, but what isn't perfect you can change. If you can't change it, you can get rid of it, or move on.  Simplify Your Life

Studies show that people who report high levels of satisfaction in friendship, marriage and spiritual support tend to be less likely to be at risk from all forms of illness and accidents. Stress Busters

Get a contain of bright-colored cocktail toothpicks. Color on of the wooden toothpicks black. And, what do you have. A miniature Pick-Up-Stix that you can take on short or long vacations! To Do Today

My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope." Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. - Pablo Picasso. Win the Day!

El filete (feeLEHteh) Steak. Me gustaria un filete jugoso!  I'd like a juicy steak! Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: INDIVIDUALITY

Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable - Anonymous (Kenyan proverb) Our culture is individualistic. We extol the power of single human beings to achieve success in any endeavor, and when things go wrong we look for reasons in individual behavior or psychology. This approach has enabled us to create a society in which unprecedented numbers of people believe in realizing their potential, but we are a lonely people. We sorely lack community. In collective endeavors, we surrender our individual wills for the common good. Most of us get our earliest experience of community in our families; we're asked to give up our pleasure or convenience in return for some undefined value like "togetherness", and sometimes we resent it. If our family community taught us rivalry, sulking or domination, these can poison our later attempts at collective action. One stick is easily snapped; a bundle is unbreakable. Labor unions and political parties have used this truth successfully. Collectivity is too valuable for us to let family hangovers spoil it. Even a world of self-actualizing individuals needs to learn communal techniques for tackling the big issues that affect our lives: peace, prosperity, and freedom. Letting go of childish resentment, we know how to work together. I can join with others for collective action without giving up anything I value. Community can be nurturing, not suffocating. Family Feelings

There never has been one like me before, and there never will be one like me again - Howard Cosell. Each of us is unique and previous. We have different talents, different dreams, and different fears. One man may love to dance and drum in the company of other men, while another loves the quiet solitude found in reading a book. Our differences should be nurtured and encouraged. What a dull life it would be if everyone were the same!  When we men gather in groups, our differences spark our creativity. Much has been written and said about the importance of being a "team player". There's a reason for this: there's power in a team. The most effective teams, however, recognize that their power lies in their "collectiveness," in the grouping of so many unique talents and skills. Today I will honor my individuality by recognizing my own abilities and strengths. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

I use heavy-gauge strings, tune low, play hard and floor it - Stevie Ray Vaughan. Did you ever see Stevie Ray Vaughan's guitar?  What a beautiful piece of work. So well-worn there's hardly any finish left. Deep, sweat-stained grooves in the neck, nicks and burns from years of hard use. Like me. I'm sweat-stained grooved also. I have nicks and burns from that time when I tried to use a soldering iron. Hell, I even have calluses from years of strenuous league bowling, and I can't even see my feet anymore when standing erect. Now that's hard use!  When I think of the life I've lived, and the scars I bear, the blues I've wished I could sing buy can't because my voice is shot, too, I see that I am one beautiful instrument. If I paint myself purple and attach some strings at my neck, maybe Susanna Hoffs will want to strum me. Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us Go fly a kite. What Every Man Needs to Know. Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Social Work Practice with Men at Risk by Rich Putnam. Treating men as a culturally distinct group, the author integrates key conceptions of masculinity into culturally sensitive social work practice with men. Focusing on veterans, displaced workers, substance abusers, mental health consumers, and other groups that might be unlikely to seek help, he deftly explores the psychosocial development of men, along with the globalization of men's lives, alternative conceptions of masculinity, and special dynamics within male relationships. He bolsters his conclusions with case studies and evidence-based interventions. His cutting-edge research merges four key social work theories and explores how they inform practice with mental health issues, compulsive disorders, addition and violence. By promoting gender equity and culturally competent practice with men, he bridges the gap between clinical and macro practice. The book is a crucial text for educators and practitioners hoping to pursue effective, far-reaching interventions. Columbia University Press, 2010, www.cup.columbia.edu, ISBN 9 780231 143813

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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