Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

OCTOBER 20

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Bill Hatcher/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

October 20 - Wear purple for Spirit Day to show LGBT youth that life is worth living even in the face of bullying. * Birth of the Bab (1819). Baha'i observance of anniversary of the birth in Shiraz, Persia of Siyyid Ali Muhammad, who later took the title of "the Bab"; the Bab was the prophet-hearld of the Baha'i Faith. One of the nine days of the year when Baha'is suspend work.www.us.bahai.org * In mid-September of 1944 American military leaders made the decision to begin the invasion of the Philippines on Leyte, a small island north of the Surigao Strait. With General Douglas MacArthur in overall command, US aircraft dropped hundreds of tons of bombs in the area of Dulag. Four divisions were landed on the east coast, and after a few hours, he set foot on Philippine soil for the first time since he was ordered to Australia, Mar 11, 1942, thus fulfilling his promise, "I shall return." * The world's worst soccer disaster occurred at Moscow when 340 sports fans were killed during a game between Soviet and Dutch players (1982). Details of the event, blaming police for the tragedy in which spectators were crushed to death in an open staircase, were not published until nearly seven years later in Sovietsky Sport. In 1985, three soccer game disasters in England and Belgium took 93 lives and injured nearly 800 persons. In April, 1989, 95 persons perished in a crush as a soccer match in Sheffield, England. * Anniversary of dramatic turning point in the Watergate affair (1973). The White House announcement that President Richard M. Nixon had discharged Archibald Cox (Special Watergate Prosecutor) and William B. Ruckelshaus (Deputy Attorney General), the Attorney Genereal Elliot L. Richardson, resigned. Immediate and widespread demands for impeachment of the president ensued and were not stilled until President Nixon resigned on Aug 9, 1974.* The House Committee on Un-American Activities begins hearings on alleged communism in Hollywood, resulting in 10 indictments for contempt of Congress (1947.) * Birthdays: John Dewey, Bela Lugosi, Mickey Mantle, Christopher Wren, Art Buchwald, William Christopher, Keith Hernandex, Eddie Jones, Jerry Orbach, Tom Petty. 

Discard cracked bicycle helmets!

DAILY THOUGHTS

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1990 there were 14.7 million African American men and 16.8 African American women in the U.S. African American History

If I tell you I'm about to have an orgasm, it means I want you to keep doing exactly what you're doing. - Nancy, 33 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Children never argue with their imaginary friends. Somehow they always want to comply. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Birthday of Dr. Joyce Brothers. Born in 1925, this American psychologist is known for such practical advice as this:  "Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can - and surely will at times - fail....I think we should follow a simple rule:  If we can take the worst, take the risk."  The Old Farmer's Almanac

In spite of all our efforts, sexual compulsion interferes with marriages, draws people into strange liaisons, and continues to offend propriety, morality and religion. Its dynamic is too big for the cages we make for it. Soul Mates

Your work may be finished someday, but your education, never. - Alexandre Dumas the Elder. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Inquisitiveness. Snacking on leftover cheesecake. An "invisible fence." 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

No one should wear white pants.  Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

As a child, Mark lived in terrible poverty in a dangerous part of Miami where crime and drugs were part of everyday life. He was determined to make something out of his life. He eventually left Miami, obtained a good education, and fostered his natural music ability. He knew it was up to him to create his own life, regardless of what hand he had been dealt. He is now one of the most well-known studio singers. He could have given in to the life he was born into or remained mired in blaming his parents and culture for his circumstances. Instead, however, he took responsibility for himself and created a life of which he can be proud.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

In 1987, Gary Miller was elected to the Robla, California, school board as an out-gay candidate. One year later he became the first out-gay men in the U.S. to become school board president. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Our language is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility: "That's me. That's just the way I am." (I am determined. There's nothing I can do about it.)

"I can't do that. I just don't have the time." (Something outside me - limited time - is controlling me.)

"I have to do it."  (Circumstances or other people are forcing me to do what I do. I'm not free to choose my own actions.).

That language comes from a basic paradigm of determinism, and the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

It's helpful to figure out what you don't want in your life anymore. We allow a lot of mental, emotional, and psychological clutter to accumulate in our minds and our lives, blocking our access to inner peace. Sit down in the next few days and make a list of the things that are getting in the way of your inner progress. Then set up a plan to get rid of them. Simplify Your Life

Custom Treat Bags: To make trick-or-treating even more fun, kids can make their own bags for collecting goodies. They can decorate shopping bags or pillowcases with jack-o'-lanterns and goblins, paint scary designs on them with glow-in-the-dark paint, and add a drawstring to tie them closed. Parents Tips & Tricks

Don't expect others to read your mind, no matter how long they've known you. If you need or want something, learn to ask for it. Stress Busters

Crush peppermint candies in a plastic bag with a rolling pin. Scoop ice cream into a bowl. Pour chocolate syrup on top. And the crushed peppermint. Top with a chocolate cookie or a strawberry. Enjoy! To Do Today

Winning breeds confidence and confidence breeds winning. - Hubert Green Win the Day!

El sello (SEHyoh) Stamp. Diez sellos para Mexico, por favor. Ten stamps for Mexico, please. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: LIMITS

The place for endlessness is not in heaven but on earth, and the spiritual abundance that is bound to be brought forth by new generations is not be feared or merely tolerated. It is welcomed and affirmed. - Jonathan Kozol. "There's no limit to human stupidity." How often have you said that - or thought it? When a parent, child, or sibling goes back to an abusive relationship for the nth time - or Uncle Bill loses a bundle at the track - we can feel that the only really limitless quantity is the measure of human beings' ability to obstruct their own growth. Yet we know better. It's true that the potential for repeated failure is within us, but our good qualities are infinite, too - our capacity for love; our need for faith' our righteous anger. What we call stupidity in others must evoke our infinite reservoirs of love and tolerance, no matter how often they're called forth. If my rage feels limitless, that's all right. I don't have to act on my anger, just feel it and let it go. Am I angry because I'm directing other feelings into a channel called rage, because I'd rather feel angry than afraid? My fear is limitless, too; but I can let it go. All I can do in my family is understand that they have the same capacities for feeling as I do. My task isn't to correct them but to love them. I can work on transforming my infinite spiritual resources into the unconditional acceptance and love I hope to find in others. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. My strength is in my feelings. I can choose how I express them. Family Feelings Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 The Invisible Presence: How a man's relationship with his mother affects all his relationships with women, Michael Gurian. Whether he’s conscious of it or not, a man’s mother is the model for just about every relationship with a woman he has for the rest of his life. Sometimes it’s obvious (just ask his wife or girlfriend), sometimes it’s more subtle, but when you see it, it becomes crystal clear. For fifteen years, this book has helped men understand their mothers’ pervasive influence over the way they relate to women—both the positive and negative aspects of it. But more than that, it has helped thousands of men break free of old relationship patterns. Gurian gives men a wealth of practical exercises and meditations they can use to recognize their mothers’ influence in relationships, and to establish a healthy and rewarding new basis for relationships that will benefit themselves and the women in their lives as well. This new edition of the book formerly titled Mothers, Sons, and Lovers includes a new preface and study questions by the author.www.MichaelGurian.com, Shambhala, www.shambhala.com, ISBN 978-1-599030-807-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html 

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

October is Adopt-a-Shelter Dog; Alternate History; Auto Battery Safety; Campaign for Healthier Babies; Celiac Sprue Awareness; Child Health; Computer Learning; Diversity Awareness; Dryer Vent Safety Awareness; Energy Management is a Family Affair-Improve Your Home; Family History; Family Sexuality Education, Fantasy; Gay and Lesbian History; Health Literacy; International Fired Up; Listen to Your Inner Critic; Lupus Awareness; National AIDS Awareness; National Animal Safety and Protection; *National Breast Cancer Awareness; National Car Care; National Crime Prevention; National Depression Education and Awareness; *National Disability Employment Awareness; *National Domestic Violence Awareness; National Family Health, National Family Sexuality Education; National "Gain the Inside Advantage"; National Home Inspection; National Orthodontic Health; National Pharmacy; National Physical Therapy; National Pizza; National Popcorn Poppin'; National Roller Skating; National Skin Care Awareness; National Spinal Health; National Toilet Tank Repair; Pediatric Cancer Awareness; Rett Syndrome Awareness; Sarcastics Awareness; Substance Abuse Prevention; Talk About Prescriptions; Unmasking Halloween Dangers; Vegetarian Awareness Month.

9/15-10/15: Hispanic Heritage Month. 10/1-7: Mental Illness Awareness; *Minority Enterprise Development; National Health Care Food Oct 8-14: *Fire Prevention; Home Based Business; National Adult Immunization Awareness; *National School Lunch, National Walk to School Week. 10/9-13: Pet Peeve, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week. 10/10-16: Wildlife Week. 10/14-20: Ally, Pharmacy Week. 10/15-21: Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door; *National Character Counts; Teen Read Week. 10/16-22: National Health Education Week. 10/22-28: National Massage Therapy Awareness, National Save Yur Back Week. 10/23-31: Red Ribbon 10/25-31: Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week. 10/1: World Vegetarian Day. 10/2: World Habitat Day, 10/3: Techies Day. 10/4: Toot Your Flute Day. 10/8 Global Learn Day; National Children's Day. 10/9: Indigenous Persons Day; *Leif Erikson Day, Yom Kippur, Canadian Thanksgiving Day. 10/11: Coming Out; Teddy Bear to Work Day; 10/12: Oktoberfest. 10/13: Blame Someone Else; Scream, Train Your Brain Day, Friday the 13th. 10/14: Sukkot. Be Bald and Be Free Day. 10/15: National Grouch; *White Cane Safety Day. 10/16: Dictionary;  Boss' Day, Intl. Librarians World Food Day. 10/17: Black Poetry, International Eradication of Poverty Day. 10/18: Canadian Persons;  Boost your Brain Day. 10/19: Evaluate Your Life Day 10/21: Sweetest Day. 10/22: Mother-In-Law; National Scientific Literacy Day. 10/23: National Mole Day. 10/24: United Nations Day. Black Thursday. 10/25: Cartoonists Against Crime Day. 10/26: Horseless Carriage; Mule, Intersex Awareness Day 10/27: Frankenstein Friday, Navy Day, Ugly Pickup Contest. 10/28: Make a Difference; Wild Foods Day; Day of Meditation. 10/29: Daylight Savings Times Ends. 10/31: Halloween; National Magic; *National Unicef Day. 11/2 is Election Day. Vote Absentee Ballot.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

Domestic Violence Prevention Month - See Issues. Also, see books on anger, violence-general, violence-domestic, violence-rape, violence-sexual, women's violence, sexual harassment plus Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs and Safe Dating in Merchandise and Alternatives to Violence programs. - resources for male and female perpetrators and male and female victims. Got some information to add, send it to mailto:violence@menstuff.org

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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