Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

APRIL 21

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Colin Monteath/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

April 21 - Festival of Ridvan, the day when the prophet-founder of the Baha'i faith publicly proclaimed His mission as God's messenger for this age. Baha'u'llah believed Deity to be male, female and beyond gender.* Patriots Day (ME & MA), San Jacinto Day (TX), the day Texas won independence from Mexico. * The German flying ace "The Red Baron was credited with 80 kills in less than two years. On this day, he was shot down and killed. Royal Flying Corp pilots recovered his body and the Allies buried him with full military honors. * Kindergarten Day, a day to recognize the importance of play, games and creative self-activity in children's education. * Observed on the birthday of Friedrich Froebel (1782), who invented kindergarten and a series of toys which he intended to stimulate learning. Frank Lloyd Wright received these toys as a child and spoke throughout his life of their value. * Copernicus 4 (US) launched the Orbiting Astronomical Observer (OAO), 1972 named in honor of the Polish astronomer. *  Birthdays: John Muir (1838), naturalist and conservationist, Anthony Quinn, Iggy Pop, Tony Danza, John Muir, Charles.

DAILY THOUGHTS

If you have kids, get some sponges, clothespins and tempera paint. Hard boil some eggs and show them how to "sponge-paint" the eggs. Clip a small piece of sponge to a clothespin. Hold the clothespin and dip the sponge into the paint. Dab paint all over the egg or in patterns. Let dry and hide.  To Do Today

Did you know?  One out of every ten, or a total of 5,570 servicemen killed in the Vietnam War were African American. African American History

My favorite thing is when a woman is on top and, instead of moving up and down, she rocks her hips back and forth. - Travis, 25 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Children tend to think it extremes. In their minds, something is either all their fault or none of their fault. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

An Easy Calm-Down Method. After a crying spell, taking deep breaths helps my 3-year-old son calm down. To make it easier (and more fun), I have him extend his legs and pretend that his toes are birthday candles. He breathes deeply and blows them out. After three or four blows, he's back to his old self again. Family Feelings

Singer Johnny Mathis, who came out as gay in a 1985 Us magazine interview, was first discovered by a Columbia Records talent scout during a 1955 performance in a San Francisco gay bar, the 440 Club. His Greatest Hits album stayed on Billboard's pop chart for over ten years. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Second adulthood may be precipitated by a moment of change: the Aha! moment. It forces us to look upon our lives differently. Middlescence - the passage leading into Second Adulthood - can be a very active, volatile transition. But even while making mistakes, we are in motion. New Passages

To exercise power is to make decisions and the process of making decisions with total awareness is often infinitely more painful than making decisions with limited or blunted awareness (which is the way most decisions are made and why they are ultimately proved wrong). The Road Less Traveled

At the beginning of any form of life the soul is in a raw, undeveloped stage; it makes sense that a marriage will be significantly different a few years into it than it was at the start. Soul Mates

Look up and not down, look forward and not back, look out and not in. - Edward Everett Hale. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Researching vacation spots. Sitting down at the end of a long day. Living consciously. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Big fish eat little fish. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

To ease the process of learning, you must first master the basic lessons of compassion, forgiveness, ethics and ultimately, humor. Without these essential lessons, you remain trapped in your limited view and unable to parlay mistakes into valuable learning opportunities. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, there is a first creation to every part of our lives. We are either the second creation of our own proactive design, or we are the second creation of other people's agendas, of circumstances, or of past habits.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Learn to trust your intuition. All of us come equipped with a still, small voice within. Unfortunately, our lifestyles have become so fast-paced and hectic that many of us have forgotten how to listen to it.  Simplify Your Life

Keep in mind that life is not a timed test, where the goal is to finish as fast as possible. Experience the peace that comes in slowing down and being fully in each moment, rather than always rushing ahead to the next one. Stress Busters

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary. - Vidal Sasson Win the Day!

El Diamante (deeahMAHNteh), Diamond. Los diamantes son para siempre. Diamonds are forever. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: AUTHENTIC LOVE

Authentic love is a dance with three movements: solo, counterpoint, and coming together; it embraces solitude, conflict and intimacy. - Sam Keen

Adult love can never be all happy merger. True adult intimacy requires some space and distance, some times of differing and conflict. Intimacy and distqance are not necessarily contrary; they can feed and help preserve each other.

Thinking of love as a dance can be helpful. We can dance alone or with someone else, in dramatic tension. Sam Keen identifies three movements in this dance.

Solo/solitude: Image a man alone, before approaching his mate, or after. He may be preparing or he may be remembering. Or he is creatively pursuing a task or an art form unrelated to his partner. He is quite content.

Counterpoint/conflict: Imagine a couple having a heated argument; their voices are agitated. They are very engaged with each other.

Coming together/intimacy: Imagine a gentle bedroom scene in which a husband and wife settle in for the evening, a fire to warm them.

Each of these scenes has a lot of life in it. An adult relationship requires all these elements for its choreography to be complete.

What aspects of love might I be missing? What can I do to integrate these aspects into my life? A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. The work of showing (rather than buying) love is tougher than any job. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Opposites as Equals: Standard differences between men and women and how to resolve them by Richard and Nancy Ann Driscoll. We can not longer afford to so misunderstand our opposites. See why men are more intrigued by casual sex and tend to be opportunists, but try to conceal it; while women are more easily offended and are more insistent in arguments, but insist that it is not so. See why men are more highly stressed in personal confrontations and withdraw to avoid unpleasantries, which women interpret as indifference. And much, much more. This book finds ways to bridge our differences based on traditional principles of equal concern and shared advantages for men and women. theOppositeSex.info Westside Psychology, 2009, ISBN: 978-0-9634126-6-9

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

April is Alcohol Awareness; Animal Cruelty Prevention; California Earthquake Preparedness; *Cancer Control, Community Spirit; Couple Appreciation; *Child Abuse Prevention; Holy Humor; Home Improvement Safety; International Amateur Radio; International Customer Loyalty; International Daffynitions; International Legacy; International Twit Award; International Work Life Enrichment; Keep American Beautiful; Mathematics Education; Month of the Young Child; National Autism Awareness; National Humor; National Knuckles Down; National Lawn and Garden; National Poetry Month, National Self-Publishing; National Sexually Transmitted Diseases Education and Awareness; National Youth Sports Safety; Occupational Therapy; Prevent Injuries America; School Library Media; Spring Ahead for Life; Stress Awareness (breathe); World Habitat Awareness; Zam! Zoo and Aquarium Month. And, depending on the school system, it's also Spring Break.

Mar 13-Apr 15: Deaf History Month. Mar 25-Apr 4: Muharram. Mar 26-Apr 2: Navaratri/Gangaur. And Apr 1-7 Testicular Cancer Awareness Week - Get a Grip!, Genital Integrity Awareness Week, Washington, D.C.; Golden Rule; Dumb; International Building Safety; National Blue Ribbon; National Library; National Medical Patient Advocacy; National Occupational Therapy; National Pecan; National Pet First Aid Awareness; National Poetry; Passion; Week of the Young Child Week. Apr 2-6: Strolf-Stretch Week. Apr 2-8: National Public Health Week. Apr 4-10: Hate Week. Apr 6-8: Alcohol-Free Weekend. Apr 8-14: National Garden; National Week of the Ocean; Network Marketing Professionals; *Pan American; Holy Week. Apr 12-18: National Minority Cancer Awareness Week. Apr 15-21: Grange; National Infant Immunization; *National Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness; Reading is Fun Week. Apr 16-20: Consumer Awareness; Egg Salad; Explore Your Career Options; Family Laughing Through Stories; *National Crime Victims Rights; *National Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness; National Organize Your Files; Young People's Poetry Week. Apr 17-23: National Park Week. Apr 21-22: Just Pray No: Worldwide Weekend Prayer. Apr 21-23: Earth Day Weekend. Apr 21-May 2: Festival of Ridvan. Apr 22-28: Administration Professionals; National Karaoke; *National Volunteer; Sky Awareness Week. Apr 22-29: *Jewish Heritage Week. Apr 23-29: Astronomy; National Playground Safety; National TV  Turnoff; National YMCA Week. Apr 29-May 5: *National Science and Technology Week.

Apr 1: April Fools'; Check Your Batteries; Lupus Alert; National Repot Your Plant; Sorry Charlie Day; Testicular Cancer - What is it?, Apr 2: International Children's Book; Reconciliation Day, Testicular Cancer - Symptoms. Apr 3 - Testicular Cancer - What the doctors look for . Apr 4: Thank You, School Librarian; Victims of Violence Holy; Testicular Cancer - Prevention, Apr 5 - National Alcohol Screening; *National Equal Pay; National Fun at Work; National Tomb-Sweeping (Taiwan); Tartan Day; Testicular Cancer - Treatment, Apr 6 - Testicular Cancer - Prognosis, Apr 7 -National Hug Your Newsman; UN World Health Day. Testicular Cancer - Automatic monthly reminder, self-exam and other resources. Apr 8: International Feng Shui Awareness Day. Apr 9: *National Former Prisoner of War Recognition; Winston Churchill Day. Apr 10: National Siblings; Salvation Army Founder's Day. Apr 11:  Barbershop Quarter Day. Apr 12: Vote Lawyers Out of Office Day. Apr 13: Blame Someone Else; National D.A.R.E. Day, Apr 14: International Moment of Laughter; *Pan American; Remembrance Day. Apr 15: National Coin Day. Apr 17: Blah Blah Blah; National Stress Awareness; National Positive Alternatives for Living; Verrazanoo Day. Apr 18: Pet Owners Independence; Third World Day. Apr 19: John Parker Day. Apr 20: Holocaust; National Youth Service Day. Apr 21: Earth Environmental Angels; Kindergarten; San Jacinto Day. Apr 22: Earth Day Anniversary; Girl Scout Leader Day. Apr 25: Administrative Professionals, Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting Awareness Day. Apr 26: Day of Silence; Hug an Australian: National Playground Safety; Richter Scale; Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Apr 27: Hug a Prom Sponsor; National Arbor National Child Care Professionals; National Hairball Awareness Day, Apr 28: Astronomy; Kiss Your Mate; National Sense of Smell; Native American Heritage Day. Apr 29: Mother, Father Deaf; National Puppetry Day. Apr 30: International Dare of Live; International Walk; National Honesty; Spank Out Day USA.

In all of this, don't let Child Abuse Prevention get lost. Check out our extensive sections of issues: Abuse, Circumcision, Gangs, Hazing, Incest/Molestation, Ritual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Harassment, Suicide, TV violence, Violence, Domestic Violence, Women's Violence and Prisons. and Books - Abuse of Boys, Child Abuse, Abuse - MPD, Ritual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Circumcision, Anger, Forgiveness, Violence, Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Women's Violence.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
Help find a missing child!
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24-Hour Hotline

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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