Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

SEPTEMBER 13

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Tom Sanders/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

It's Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. Remember to visit "Today" during the week of September 19-25. It's Prostate Cancer Awareness Week and we will feature a different issue each day concerning prostate cancer.

September 13 - Day Israelis and Palestinians committed to peaceful coexistence (1993); vigil for true peace, justice, and religious tolerance in the Middle East. * Vigil for true peace, justice, and equal rights for all in the Middle East. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * On this night in 1814, Francis Scott Key was aboard a ship that was delayed in Baltimore harbor by the British attack there on Fort Henry. Key had no choice but to anxiously watch the battle. That experience ad seeing the American flag still flying over the fort the next morning inspired him to pen the versus that, coupled with the tune of a popular drinking song, became our official national anthem in 1931, 117 years after the words were written. * US Capital Established at New York, NY (1788) as the location of the new US government in place of Philadelphia, which had served as the capital up until this time. In 1790, the capital moved back to Philadelphia for ten years, before moving permanently to Washington, D.C. * PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, meet in Washington, D.C. to sign a peace agreement. (1993) * Birthdays: Sherwood Anderson, Ronald Dahl, John J. Pershing, Mel Torme, Walter Reed, Peter Cetera, Robert Indiana, Michael Johnson, Richard Kiel, Fred Silverman.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Scarcity consciousness arises as a result of what I call the "hole-in-the-soul-syndrome." This is when we attempt to fill the gaps in our inner lives with things from the outside world. No amount of external objects, affection, love, or attention can ever fill an inner void. The void can only be filled by looking within. You already have and are enough; revel, in your own interior abundance and you will never need to look elsewhere.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

It is possible to build a house without hammer and nails, but the process is generally not efficient or desirable. Similarly, it is possible to achieve personal growth without employing psychotherapy, but often the task is unnecessarily tedious, lengthy and difficult. It generally makes sense to utilize available tools as a shortcut. The Road Less Traveled

We go from missionary, then with her on her side, then from behind, all without ever letting my penis come out. - Bill, 32 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

A great many members of the current fortysomething generation have been able to maintain the illusion that their choices will continue to be unlimited and that they are in full control of this lives. Since so many of Th. marker events of adult life have been delayed, the classic early mid-life crisis, which used to be concentrated between the ages of thirty-eight and forty-three, is more likely to be put off until the mid-forties or later. New Passages

The way your parents disciplined you is not necessarily the only way. Look for more effective techniques. Ask around, feel free to read, maybe take a parenting class. Expand your parenting horizon. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Love of the soul is the basis for intimacy between people. Honoring that aspect of soul that is irrational and extreme, we have far fewer expectations of perfection, in ourselves and others. Soul Mates

No one can give you wisdom. You must discover it for yourself, on the journey through life, which no one can take for you. - Sun Bear Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: Your wild imagination. Bruschetta al Pomodoro. A provocative self-portrait.  14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Don't wear it if it itches. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. Whether you are dealing with the question of who does what at work, how you communicate with your daughter when you tell her to clean her room, or who feeds the fish and takes out the garbage, you can be certain that unclear expectations will lead to misunderstanding, disappointment and withdrawal of trust.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Eliminate packaged foods from your diet. Not only will you cut your monthly food bill in half, you'll greatly reduce the amount of trash you have to dispose of each week. Simplify Your Life

Deep breathing is a proven way to ward off stress attacks or to help control them once they've hit. Here are the four 4's for successful deep breathing. (1) Breathing slowly through your nose to the count of 4. Your abdomen should expand more than your chest as you breathe in. (2) Exhale slowly through your mouth to the count of 4. Your abdomen should deflate. (3)  Do this for 4 minutes. (4) Practice 4 times each day to induce calm and decrease stress and anxiety.  Stress Busters

Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, "Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."  - Anthony Robbins. Win the Day!

La Lengua - Tongue. Tienes lengua de seda. You're a smooth talker (Lit. You have a tongue made of silk.) Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: FREEDOM

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote the freedom to err. - Mohandas K. Gandhi. How do we respond when someone in our family makes a mistake? Suppose it's an old person. Do we say, "Oh, Uncle Jim has lost it, better put him in a home," or do we help him find a way to arrange his life so he won't lock himself in the bathroom or set his stove on fire? Suppose it's our partner. Do we go into a tizzy over an unbalanced checkbook, or can we let it go? Or our children: does the first scraped fender mean they can't ever drive our car again, or do we work out a payment plan within their allowance and tell them how glad we are they weren't hurt? Patterns of dangerous accidents are another matter. If Uncle Jim really can't look after himself, he probably needs closer supervision. If our partner is chronically in debt and can't ever seem to reconcile income and outgo, some financial counseling is definitely in order. And we make sure our children get the best driver training available (starting on a stick shift, even if the school only has automatics - It's worth the investment in an outside driver's ed program with stick shift cars. - Editor) Other people deserve our trust, especially our loved ones. The leeway we grant to others indicates our level of trust in them, in ourselves, and in the world. Do we have such high expectations of ourselves that we don't permit errors? This is inhuman. We deserve better and so do those we love. We must accept errors, our own and other people's, if we are to learn from them. Family FeelingsMen are free when they belong to a living, organic, believing community. - D. H. Lawrence. Freedom and independence are essential to being male. Also key is being related to others - in a family or a community of some kind. The Franciscan friars, one of the first antecedents of today's men's movements, have long been a believing community that has attracted free spirits. Some communities restrict, others free. Freedom and community can be contrary unless one understands the differences between freedom from and freedom toward. The deepest freedom includes a commitment to other people, even when they strain our patience. Community is where the inner and outer meet, where the internal self can connect with the external self. That great British novelist D. H. Lawrence was a skeptic, yet he was a man of deep belief and faith. He affirmed an inner freedom and an outer freedom. Lawrence understood the value of community. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Are you part of a community? Does it restrict or enhance your freedom? You may want to consider joining a community. Or working more closely with a community of which you are already a part. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

A Little Book of Thanks Yous: Letters, notes & quotes by Addie Johnson. Rediscover the joys of gratitude! The author explores the who, what, where, when, whys, and especially hows to "thank yous."  You'll find handwritten letters and spontaneous acts of random gratitude, a litany of ways to count the blessings we're grateful for, with inspiring words from around the world and throughout the ages, and thank you letters from politicians, artists, and ordinary folk. In this little book of big-hearted ideas, the author offers up inspiration to anyone who has ever frozen before the blank interior of a Thank You car, including: creative and simple ways to express your thanks, practical tactics for giving and acknowledging gifts, poetry and quotations to inspire a grateful heart or jump-start a tank you note, and stories, suggestions and examples of how to enlarge someone's life with the humblest of expressions. Conari Press, www.redwheelweiser.com, 2010, ISBN 978-1-57324-374-2

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

September is Baby Safety Awareness, Children's Eye Health & Safety, Children's Good Manners, Christmas Seal, Cholesterol Education, Fall Hat, Gay Square Dance, Library Card Sign-up, Little League, Organic Harvest, Pediculosis Prevention, Piano, Pleasure Your Mate, Project Aware, Prosperity Creation, School Success, Sea Cadet, Self Awareness, Self-Improvement, Shameless Promotion, and Sickle Cell Month.

9/15-10/15: Hispanic Heritage Month. 8/29-9/4: National Sobriety Checkpoint Week, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, www.madd.org; 9/1-7: Childhood Injury Prevention; Self-University Week. 9/4-10: Full Employment Week, Mental Health Workers Week.. 9/5-9: Play Days. 9/9-16: National Five-A-Day Week. 9/10-16: National Suicide Prevention; Substitute Teacher Appreciation; National Brainstorming and Mind Mapping; Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week: 9/14-20 Dementia Awareness Week (Australia) 9/17-23: *Constitution; Balance Awareness; Love a Mensch; Farm Safety and Health; Historically Black Colleges and Universities; Rehabilitation Awareness; Single's Week. 9/19-25 - Prostate Cancer Awareness Week; 9/23-30: Banned Books, Religious Freedom Week. 9/23-29 - Deaf Awareness, National Dog Week; 9/23-24: Family Health & Fitness. 9/10: Swap Ideas Day. 9/17 *Citizenship Day. 9/19: International Day of Peace. 9/22: National Centenarians, Proposal Day. 9/23: Kiwanis Kids', *National Hunting & Fishing, Smash Out Suicide Day, 9/24: *Gold Star Mother's, National Good Neighbor, World Heart Day. 9/27: Ancestor Appreciation Day. 9/28: Cabrillo Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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