Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JANUARY 22

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Dugald Bremner/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

January 22 - Allies take New Guinea (1943) * Allies Land at Anzio on Italy's western coast. It took them 4 more months to enter Rome. * Saint Vincent's Feast Day - the martyr who died AD 304, was the patron saint of wine growers. Old weather lore says if there is sun on this day, good wine crops may be expected in the ensuing season. * The Vietnam peace agreement is signed (1973). * The Supreme Court recognizes women's right to reproductive autonomy and rules that women have a right to abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy (Roe v. Wade, 1973). The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Birthdays: Piper Laurie, Sultan (Kedah), Thaipusam (Negeri Sembilan, Perrak, Penang, Selangor), Andre Ampere, Francis Bacon, George Balanchine, David (Lewelyn) Wark Griffith, August Strindberg, Richard Upjohn, Fred M. Vinson, Seymour Cassell, Balthazar Getty, John Hurt, Steve Perry, Joseph Wambaugh.

DAILY THOUGHTS

He was a very valiant man who first adventured on eating of oysters. James I. Crazy thinking involves the belief that things are better when they are in place, in order, and permanently fixed. So much energy is wasted trying to Super Glue life, but what is inflexible become rigid, we lose touch with the rushing creek of life. Be flexible. Dirty socks don’t always have to go in the hamper. Dinner doesn’t always have to be eaten at a table. Where is it written that one must always sleep in a bed at night? What’s wrong with a desk top at noon? Why must we always work during the week and rest over the weekend? Why not vice versa? When we stop experimenting, stop looking, stop asking new questions, it is time to die. Am I dead, or alive at a 180-degree angle? Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

The parents who devote time to their children even when it is not demanded by glaring misdeeds will perceive in them subtle needs for discipline, to which they will respond with gentle urging or reprimand or structure or praise, administered with thoughtfulness and care. The Road Less Traveled

In 1954, American Psychological Association (APA) meeting and a 1956 Western Psychological Association meeting, Dr. Evelyn Hooker presented what were then groundbreaking results from her study, which indicated that gay men were as well adjusted as heterosexual men. This work paved the way for the APA's 1974 elimination of homosexuality as a psychological disorder. Gay & Lesbian Calendar.

Baby-Sitter Basics. Even if you just need someone to watch your kids on a Saturday night, baby-sitting is serious business. Some tips for finding someone you're comfortable with: (1) Ask neighbors, friends and acquaintances if they can recommend someone they know well. This lends an extra level of accountability to the candidate. (2) Read bulletin boards at places where parent gather (the Y, church, or synagogue, or your pediatrician's office). (3)  Call a senior citizens' center. An active retiree can make a reliable and loving caregiver. Parents Tips & Tricks (Editor: Calls us paranoid. We believe that a hidden video camera, or at least a long-play tape recording, at least early on is a good measure to insure the sitter is treating your child safely. After all, it is your child. Check to be sure what the local law enforcement ordinances are, if any.)

Things to Be Happy About: Bakers on the night shift; the pure promise of dawn. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Whether you think that you can or that you can't, you are usually right. - Henry Ford Win the Day!

Notice the little things that people do for you and take time to thank them. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

Pack some Patience. Always keep a book with you in the car, in case of inadvertent delays. The Old Farmer's Almanac

Interest. "You don't care!" "You're so caught up in yourself!" "You ask how I am, but you don't really listen!" Sound familiar?  Sadly, so many couples cheat their relationships by avoiding the deep intimacy of sincere interest in each other's lives, moods and desires. It's as if romance, laughter and fun were the only experiences worth showing up for. Not so. The more you can open your heart and mind to learn about your partner, to learn about who he is beneath the surface, how she experiences the world, the more of a connection and private bond you can share with each other. That is a kind of real romance that cannot be found on the beaches of Tahiti. It can't even be found in a good roll in the hay. It's only available by opening to each other, in the presence of genuine, loving interest. Stretch your focus out beyond your own day's events, with a wide-reaching interest in your spouse. Ask questions to help you learn more. Increase your interest!  Genuine interest is one of the best gifts I can give my love. "The more you try to be interested in other people, the more you find out about yourself." Thea Astley Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

El/La Cantante (kahnTAHNteh) - singer. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: WINNING

Which is harder, to be a good winner or a good loser? - Bertie Denham

Brothers and sisters are natural rivals. If one shows clear superiority in a certain sport or art, the other (s) may choose not to compete. Sometimes a whole family is gifted in a single area, producing family string quartets or volleyball teams or building contractors. When brothers and sisters and parents and children learn to cooperate on joint projects, all members get the opportunity to learn to be both winners and losers.

Families need shared work or play, even if it's not so serious. Some families structure all their activities as competition; others approach them more cooperatively, with each member having a task. Under cooperative rules, everyone can win. Competitive families can teach each other the humility necessary to be good winners and good losers, but only if the patterns of winning and losing change from time to tie. If the same family member is always the chap ion, others learn inequality and resentment.

Except for games, life doesn't present us with many situations in which winning or losing in clear-cut. That's the appeal of a game, I suppose: It creates a temporary situation in which no one has any doubt about what she or he is supposed to do. Most of life is more uncertain. If we grow up thinking of every encounter as a competitive one, we may be robbing ourselves of life's highest prize - serenity. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Competition alone is not healthy for growing things. The fulfilled life is one of doing one's best and accepting the outcome. Family Feelings Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

The Transgender Child: A handbook for families and professionals. by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper What do you do when your son insists on wearing a dress to school? Or when your toddler daughter's first sentence is that she's a boy? Offering an extensive understanding of gender-variant and transgender youth, this book answers these questions a more. Covering developmental, legal, medical and school issues, it is a comprehensive, first-of-its-kind guidebook for the unique challenges that thousands of families face raising children who step outside of the pink or blue box. Cleis Press, www.cleispress.com, 2008, ISBN 978-1-57344-318-0

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

January is: Birth Defects Prevention, Cervical Health Awareness, National Voluteer Blood Donor; Bald Eagle Watch; Celebration of Life; Fat Free Living; International Get Over It; International Life Balance; It's Okay to Be Different; Love Yourself; March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention; National Be On-Purpose; National Book; National Clean Up Your Computer; National Environmental Policy Act; National Eye Care; National Glaucoma Awareness; National High-Tech; National Personal Self-Defense Awareness; National Poverty in America Awareness; National Reaching Your Potential; National Yours, Mine and Ours; Senior-Spirit; Sew for the Cure Month.

12/26-1/1: Kwanzaa. 12/31-1/6: Celebration of Life; Diet Resolution; National Lose Weight/Feel Great; New Year's Resolution; Silent Record Week; 1/5-13: Wilderness Wildlife Week of Nature. 1/6-12: Someday We'll Laugh About This Week.1/7-11: National Graves' Disease Awareness Week. 1/7-13: Universal Letter-Writing Week. 1/10-17: International Thank You Days. 1/13-19: Fire the Boss, International Printing, Let Men Be Our Heroes, Special Education Week. 1/14-18: Manwatchers Week. 1/20-26: Healthy Weight, National Creative Frugality, National Nurse Anesthetists, Solo-Preneuring Week. 1/21-25: Direct Deposit Week. 1/22-28: No Name Calling Week 1/21-25: *National Consumer Protection Week. 1/31-2/3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas/Groundhog's Day. 1/1: Attention to Dreams and Desires; Get a Life; Saint Basil's; Z Day. 1/2: Happy New Year for Cats; National Thrift with Flair Day. 1/6: International Respect-full Living Day; National Smith Day. Jan 7: United Kingdom Solid Gold Hat Day. Orthodox Christian Christmas. 1/8: National Bubble; Clean-Off-Your-Desk; Joygerm: Saint Gudula's Feast; Show & Tell at Work Day. 1/12 - National Handwriting Day. 1/15 - Humanitarian, Moliere, National Thank God It's Monday Day. 1/16 - Psychiatric Technicians Day. 1/18: Get to Know Your Customer Day. 1/19: International Sing-out Day. 1/20: Penguin Awareness Day. 1/21: National Hugging, World Religion Day. 1/22: World Religions Day, Celebration of Life Day. 1/23: Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day. 1/24: Just Do It Day - Make the Connection, National Compliment Day. 1/25: A Room of One's Own Day. 1/26: Fun at Work Day, Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement; Spouse's Day. 1/29: Freethinker's, National Puzzle Day. 1/30: Inane Answering Machine Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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