Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 3

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Didier Givois/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

August 3 - Independence Day in Jamaica and Niger. * The Black Sox scandal (1921)  Chicago White Sox players charged with throwing the 1919 World Series are banned from baseball, despite their acquittal in 1920. * Conversation in front of the Writers' Guild West building during their strike several years ago, as reported by Bernard Weintraub, New York Times. Tourist: Who are you people? Striking screenwriter: We're writers. Tourist: What are you striking for?  Writer: More money. Tourist: How much do you earn?  Writer: $350,000. * Birthdays: Ramon (Martin Sheen) Estevez, John T. Scopes, Anthony Dominick (Tony Bennett) Benedetto, Steven Berkoff, Leon Uris.

Keep prescriptions with one pharmacy for easy tracking!

DAILY THOUGHTS

Think positive. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: A picnic at the lake. People listening to each other. Cold vegetable salads.  14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Sometimes you find the neatest dragonfly when you're out looking for tadpoles. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

I don't like men who wear hair spray - even if it's that men's hair spray - Sarah 30. My favorite is when she leaves her panties on during foreplay. When I go to take them off and they're all wet, it drives me nuts - Les 33 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Have faith in yourself that you will remember your truth and the knowledge stored deep within your soul. There may be moments in which you cannot see your way clear to your truth - moments of darkness and uncertainty. Life can be difficult and there may be times when you cannot make sense out of it or stay afloat. These are the moments that require faith.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

William Hurt became the first actor to win an Academy Award for Best Actor for his portrayal of a gay character (1986). Can you name the film? (Answer). Gay & Lesbian Calendar

 As we look around us and within us and recognize the problems created as we live and interact within the Personality Ethic, we begin to realize that these are deep, fundamental problems that cannot be solved on the superficial level on which they were created. We need a new level, a deeper level of thinking - a paradigm based on the principles that accurately describe the territory of effective human being and interacting - to solve these deep concerns. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Try Car Sounds. Have you noticed how nothing works as consistently at getting your child to doze off as a cruise in the car?  Since driving around at 2 a.m. may not be the most practical solution, tape the noise of the car running and traffic passing by. Sometimes the whir of a fan or sound of the washing machine will work the same magic. If all else fails, grab your car keys and prepare for another late-night lane-change lullaby. Parents Tips & Tricks

Learn to enjoy the silence. Try going without the TV or stereo for periods of time. Also, leave your Walkman at home when you're walking or exercising, and keep your radio and tape player off, especially when you're driving. Simplify Your Life

"Things are neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare. Be careful what you think about yourself and others, as it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stress Busters

Help your daughter landscape a mini garden for her dolls! Put rocks, moss, grass, and flowers in sand. Then use dollhouse furniture for park benches and other outdoor furniture. To Do Today

Winning is not everything, but the effort to win is. - Zig Ziglar. Win the Day!

Encadenar (ehnkahdehNAHR) To chain. Mi trabajo me encadena al ordernador. My job keeps me chained to the computer.  Living Language

Answer: Kiss of the Spider Woman.

TODAY'S ISSUE: SEXUALITY

Sexual Passion. Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition - Alexander Smith. My sexual drive and passion are natural and healthy. Without the natural drive for sexual union, our species - indeed most forms of life more complex than the amoebae - would just die out. Sexual passion can be a great source of joy and intimacy in a relationship. Joining my body in love with another's is an experience both sacred and delightful. It is easy to get caught up in sexual "seriousness" and lose sight of the lightness and pleasure of the sexual embrace. I want to remember that delight is the source of my sexuality. Today I will celebrate my sexual passion and sexual joy. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

A richer, more fulfilling, and more peaceful masculine spirituality will depend in no small measure upon new ways of learning to be sexual - James B. Nelson. For most men, sexuality is one of the central issues in recovery. Our addictive and codependent lives have been fed by an overemphasis on genital sexuality, satisfaction and performance. Sex is so limited by this emphasis that many men have become more unhappy while becoming sexual athletes. We need to learn how to deepen our sexual experiences. We can allow ourselves the vulnerability of learning from our partners. We need to know how they relate to us, and how we can have both a spiritual and a physical connection. We can allow ourselves to be in loving relationships and enjoy the pleasure of touch. Consummation may not always be in orgasm, but in intimacy. Today, I may experience my sexuality in many ways. My spiritual growth cannot be separated from how I learn to be sexual. Touchstones

I like the way Stan Dale, creator of The Human Awareness Institute, spells intimacy. "In to me you see."  For too long, many of us have believed, wrongly, that sex is intimacy when in fact, most sex doesn't have a shred of intimacy to it. Spend some time becoming intimate before becoming sexual and see what a difference it makes. Gordon Clay

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Identify and challenge your personal myths about sexuality. Despite living through the sexual revolution, many of us remain confused about sex. In a Roper/Kinsey Institute poll only 10 percent of respondents correctly answered 80 percent or more of the items on "Fundamental Sexual Information."  Read the Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex by June Reinisch and Ruth Beasley and take the test. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start? Another excellent book is The Janus Report by Samuel Janus which looks at attitudes around sexuality by different groupings, i.e., conservative, liberal, religious, etc.

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Sex at Dawn: The prehistoric origins of modern sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are staying married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages. How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to the authors' renegade thinking While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book. Their central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care and often sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy and pschosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation and generosity. With intelligence, humor and wonder, the authors show how our promiscuous past haunts out struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens' why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women/ why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, this book unapologetic ally upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. 2010, www.SexAtDawn.com, HarperCollins, www.harpercollins.com, ISBN 978-0-06-170780-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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