Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 9

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Kevin Warren/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

February 9 - After serving 27 1/2 years of a life sentence (convicted, with eight others, of sabotage and conspiracy to overthrow the government), South Africa's Nelson Mandela, 71 years old, walked away from the Victor Verster prison farm a free man. (1990) African American History Calendar * The Beatles appear on the Ed Sullivan Show for the first time. (1964) * US clocks were advanced one hour at 2am as the nation went on War Time to conserve electricity (1942). * In a major strategic victory, the American 161st and 132nd Regiments retook Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands after a six-month-long battle. More than 9,000 Japanese and 2,000 Americans were killed.(1943). * Birthdays: Travis Tritt, Alice Walker, Brendan Behan, Dean (David) Rusk, Ernest Tubb, Bill Veeck, Roger Mudd, Joe Pesci, Charles Shaughnessy.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Be Wild. Be careless, reckless! Be a lion, be a pirate. - Brenda Ueland. Do you remember when you were a boy and had fantasies about who you could be or what you could do? All those fantasies are still somewhere inside you. Many more messages are pounded into us - as boys and as men - to be tame rather than to be wild. Our energies are restrained, restricted, contained, and repressed. Opening to our recklessness and animalness can be joyous and healthy, and it can connect us to others. Wildness is natural. As the contemporary poet Gary Snyder says, "Practice the wild." Repressed wildness can emerge inappropriately in the form of violence. If a man acknowledges his natural need to be careless and reckless, to go to excess, and if he exercises that need through play, then he is less likely to experience problems in other arenas. We each can benefit from times and environments - such as open spaces and men's groups - where our wildness can emerge spontaneously. Let the lion within you roar! If I were to be wild today, in my own fashion, what would it involve? What holds me back? With whom might I share my wildness? A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Cabin Fever & Kids: Try these easy local excursions to perk up mud season: MAKE a trip to a small airport to watch the planes. VISIT a greenhouse for a taste of spring. VISIT the fire or police department. FIND a thrift shop that includes toys or costumes. CHECK-OUT a book from your local library that you can share with a child. The Old Farmer's Almanac

The most commercially successful Spanish filmmaker is Pedro Almodovar. Many of his films, such as Matador, Law of Desire, High Heels, and Kika have included gay and transsexual characters and plots. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Try Some Fresh Air: We all know how a little fresh air seems to be a great sleep-enhancer. If your child is cooped up inside all day (especially in the winter months) and is having problems falling asleep, bundle them up for a short walk to the corner card shop. Of, if it's not too chilly, leave their bedroom window open a crack.  Parents Tips & Tricks

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Thoreau.  Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: An evening on the sofa. Mussed-up hair. Humpbacked bridges.  14,000 Things to Be Happy About

 Spending time in nature can be a wonderful source of inspiration. The natural world has an energy to it that can put you in touch with the deepest parts of yourself. Swim in the ocean, climb a tree, hike a mountain, or simply take a long walk in the woods. Do whatever activity calls to you that will draw you into the rhythm of nature and draw out your natural instincts. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Win/Win is a belief in the third alternative. It's not your way or my way - it's a better way: a higher way.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

 Perhaps it's time to approach your medicine cabinet with a heavy hand. Think seriously about getting rid of everything but the aspirin. There are no doubt dozens of medications we could do without if we just changed the way we live so that the problems go away and eliminate the symptoms. Simplify Your Life

Are you feeling stressed and depressed by the pre-Valentine's Day blues? If you're feeling left out because you currently don't have someone to share your love with, take a proactive approach to the holiday. Reach out to someone in need or throw a party for others you know without partners.  Stress Busters

Show your kids this trick so they can amaze their friends. Fill a small plastic bag with water. Tie the bag closed. Push a sharp pencil through the bag until it goes through the other side. It doesn't leak.  To Do Today

Failure is good. It's fertilizer. - Rick Pitino. Win the Day!

La Entrada (ehnTRAHdah) Entry. Prohibida la entrada!  No entry!  Living Language

Every weekend for a year, watch a different Academy Award - winning movie. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

Cough Remedies: For the cough that just won't go away, try fenugreek tea. Minimize dairy foods for a while, to cut down on mucus production. Drink teas of anise, hyssop, elder, horehound, or red clover. Take horehound drops. Try a hot bath with ginger in the water.  The Old Farmer's Almanac

Invitations:  Sometimes spur of the moment plans are great fun. But what about the thrill and excitement of anticipation? Planning ahead, looking forward to a special time together - that kind of expectation is also very romantic. How often do you extend invitations for Love-Play dates - not necessarily for sex, but just for special times together? Do you wait, hoping your spouse will cook something up? Aw, come on. The more you invite, the more your spouse will come out to play. Get creative. A note on a newspaper travel photo saying, "Wow! Am I looking forward to this weekend with you!" so she knows what to expect. A massage area set up in a garden or your bedroom so he knows what's happening after work. A restaurant card marked "You and Me - 7PM" Intrigue. Having to wait. Knowing you'll soon be enjoying each other. Start today. Leave a message on your lover's e-mail or voicemail with a Love-Play invitation for tonight. "With notes and stuff we make invitations to one another for later fun and games." Barbara Steffin and Nick Rath Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

TODAY'S ISSUE: SECOND CHANCE

Somehow...parents...see children as second chances for themselves. - Loudon Wainwright

Like keeps presenting us with second chances. The only traps, the only dead ends, are ones we construct for ourselves. My life is tailor-made for me; no one else in the world has my possibilities, and the same is true for you.

One trap we sometimes set for ourselves is thinking we can live our lives through another person - through a child or a lover, or a public figure we admire. I fill my own niche, no one else's, and no one else can fill mine.

Our lives are destined for our own special joys and accomplishments. Every person has her or his special relationship with the world and with sources of spiritual wealth and comfort. When we try to live through others, we cheat ourselves - and them, especially if they're our children. Today, I'll have all the chances I need to succeed in my life, and so will my children in theirs. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Ask your mother about her experiences growing up as a young woman. Getting to know your mother better will help you in your relationship with her, and in your relationships with other women. Take her to lunch and ask her to tell you stories about her life. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

 

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

In Defense of Food: An eater's manifesto by Pollan, Michael Pollan. Because in the so-called Western diet, food has been replaced by nutrients, and common sense by confusion - most of what we're consuming today is no longer the product of nature but of food science. The result is what the author calls the American Paradox: The more we worry about nutrition, the less healthy we seem to become. With this book, the author proposes a new (and very old) answer to the question of what we should eat that comes down to seven simple but liberating words: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. His bracing and eloquent manifesto shows us how we can start making thoughtful food choices that will enrich our lives, enlarge our sense of what it means to be healthy, and bring pleasure back to eating. Penguin, www.penguin.com, 2009 ISBN 978-0-14-311496-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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