Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 22

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Eric Sandord/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

July 22 - Hurricane and Tornado Supplication Day. * John Dillinger, known as public enemy number one, is shot by FBI agents in Chicago (1934). * Allies take Palermo (1943). Two weeks after the invasion of Sicily, the principal northern town of Palermo was captured. Americans had cut off 50,000 Italian troops in the west, but Germans were escaping to the northeastern corner of the island. * The Pied Piper of Hamelin (1376) Who piped the rats out of the town of Hamelin into the Weser River. Refused payment for his work, the piper then piped the children out of town and into a hole in a hill, never to be seen again. More recent historians suggest that the event occurred in 1284 when young men of Hamelin left the city on colonizing adventures. * Soyuz TM-3 (USSR) Two Soviet cosmonauts along with the first Syrian space traveler, were launched on a projected 10-day mission. The spacecraft orbited Earth for two days before linking with Soviet space station Mir. It was used as a shuttle to Mir into the 1990s. * Birthdays: Orson Bean (Dallas Frederick Burroughs), Albert Brooks (Albert Einstein), Willem Dafoe, Oscar De La Renta, Rob Estes, Danny Glover, Don Henley, Keyshawn Johnson, John Leguizamo, Gregory Johann Mendel, Karl Menninger, Alan Menken, James Whitcomb Riley, Bobby Sherman, David Spade, Terence Stamp, Keith Sweat, Alex Trebek.

DAILY THOUGHTS

If he has prepared himself with an image appropriate to his sixties and found a passion he's eager to pursue, even being brutally forced out of a job in middle age can occasion not impotence in a man, but an opening up of creative potency. New Passages

If you treat sex like a game, chances are you'll do the same when it comes to love - Elizabeth 21 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

In order to cultivate intimacy we need to find forms of expression that emerge from and through the soul: a gift that is particularly meaningful, a late-night conversation in which feelings rise to the surface, a letter at a time of deep emotion, or a quiet walk through a woods with few words exchanged. Soul Mates

What's the complaint most frequently heard from parents?  Answer. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

By far the most common and important way in which we can exercise our attention is by listening. We spend an enormous amount of time listening, most of which we waste, because on the whole most of us listen very poorly. The Road Less Traveled

2 & 3 Years - Growing a Conscience. On a wish list of traits parents hope to instill in children, moral behavior ranks near the top. In studying children's moral development, researchers discovered that a child's age, gender and temperament all play a part in the development of a conscience. A fully developed conscience has both an emotional and a behavioral component. The emotional aspect includes the feelings of discomfort that accompany wrongdoing. The behavioral aspect involves making reparations and resisting the temptation to misbehave in the first place. Children don't usually incorporate both aspects until around the age of 3. Parents Tips & Tricks

Which can say more than this rich praise - that you alone are you? - Shakespeare Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy Abut:  Heat and honeysuckle. The shadow of a gazebo. The era before traffic lights.  14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Everyone's afraid of funny noises at night. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Which major league baseball player was the first to openly acknowledge his gay sexual orientation and the inventor of the "high-five" salute, which has become so popular among athletes and fans?  Answer 2 Below. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Establish this simple household rule for your kids: You can eat only in the kitchen, the dining room or outside. Every other room is off limits.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules (Editor: You must lead by example, however, and follow the same rules.)

To avoid the stress of getting lost or being late for appointments due to poor directions, allow yourself more time than you anticipate you'll need to find unfamiliar places, and keep a local and national road atlas in your car at all times. Stress Busters

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor. - Andrew Carnegie.  Win the Day!

Enredarse (ehnrrehDAHRseh). To get tangled up. No te enredes en ese negocio. Don't get mixed up in that business. (Lit. Don't get tangled up in that business.) Living Language

Answer:  "My kids don't listen."  So, make it interesting.

Answer 2: Glenn Burke (1952-1995)

TODAY'S ISSUE: LISTENING

Listen, listen, listen to my heart sound...ancient song. There is much to hear - from the outside and from the inside: sounds, feelings, messages, intuition, insights. We must tune in, open the ears. Ears can close, editing out certain messages. The human voice can be so beautiful; a group of men chanting or singing from their hears and bodies can be incredibly beautiful. At some men's gatherings the men are invited to go to sleep around 10 pm and awaken about 2 am for a couple of hours. Those early hours can be a time of a man's deepest contact with his soul - and a good time to connect with brothers. At that time we can lift our voices in song, poems, chant and in memory of our ancestors. The early hours of the morning are divine; do not reserve them only for sleeping. Our best thinking, listening, writing and creating can be done as the new day begins, while it is still dark. During these hours, if we would listen, we can hear things often missed in the bright light of the day, with its call to motion and activity. I will listen more deeply today - to myself, what I feel, how my body feels. I will also listen to outer messages, taking them in more deeply than usual. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking - Mary Lowry. Men who do too much often talk too much. We simply think much of what we say will be unthinkably fascinating to just about everybody. It is difficult to be humble when you're overcommitted, After all, it was, in some respects, a lack of being humble that made us "big enough" to accept assignment after promise after job. Many of us talk about what we are doing rather than do what we're talking about. Many of us are poor listeners. We need to hear what others think, what others need, what it is that others truly want of us. Today, and for days beyond, I will try to listen more than I talk. I want to learn from others, not just hear the echo of my over commitments. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone...To have nothing in your mind is naturalness. Then you will understand what he says - Shunryu Suzuki. A man who is mistrustful and self-centered has difficulty listening to someone else. Perhaps a woman we are close to wants to be understood by us. But we do not hear her on her own terms because we are so intensely involved with our own shame. So we react to our feelings of guilt rather than really hearing what she wants to say about her experience. Or we may be so worried about who has control that we fail to receive the information we are being given. Then we respond with "Yes, but..." True learning comes - like true intimacy - when we have an open mind. As we detach ourselves, separate from our own ego, we hear the other person better and grow more intimate. May I learn to set aside my own self-centeredness. Today, I will grow more if I set my ego aside when others are talking to me. Touchstones

Listen, or thy tongues will keep thee deaf - Native American Proverb. A ten-year-old boy was assaulted by a substitute teacher in a classroom in a school in a fashionable section of rural New Jersey. The director of the school assured the boy's parents that he would go and talk to the class about what happened. The parents, with one voice, said "No!  You go and listen to them about it."  Their hearts knew what all the director's studies had never told him; that we serve best by our listening, not by our telling. Those of us who had fathers who didn't listen learned that not listening was the way of a man. If we did see ourselves mirrored in our father's open, and loving face, rapt with attention at the talk of a young boy, we never knew who we were. If our talk was cut off or dismissed, parts of us were amputated. We grew up as talkers, fixers, analyzers and pedants. We were so quick to explain that the depths were never revealed. There is too much ambiguity and uncertainty in simply listening. It made us uncomfortable. "I hear you," we said, jumping in in mid sentence. Today we can trust ourselves as listeners. The men's movement has begun to break the pedagogy of the patriarch. We listen to each other and reach beyond the circle to hear what is straining to be said by those who need our strength. I can listen with my heart without breaking it. A Man's Book of the Spirit

One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears - by listening to them - Dean Rusk. We teach our children how to treat others by the way we treat them, and we teach them to listen by listening. If we give them a full hearing and respond to their desires and concerns in a way that lets them know we've listened, they'll respect our decisions more. If we continue to listen and to show that we've listened, our children will learn in a very practical way how we make our decisions. They'll also feel respected and included in our decision making. Agreement is never guaranteed, but this method will produce closer harmony that some. Besides, listening to our children gives us a fuller picture of their lives, and this in turn gives us a better basis of information for making our decisions. When we show we respect them, we nurture their self-respect. Today I'll resolve to listen carefully even to those I believe I've already heard. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Acknowledge hearing what your partner is saying. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a divorced dad by Joel Schwartzberg. In a very funny and endearing collection of personal essays, award-winning and nationally-published writer shares stories of his ever-evolving, self-defining dadhood. This is a great book for any parent, particularly dads trying to sharpen their role and looking for insight through hysterical, heartbreaking, and heroic example. The essays are short and sharp, and many have been previously published in major newspapers and magazines. www.bookfordad.com, Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing, www.WyMacPublishing.com 2009, ISBN 978-1-932279-98-6

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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