Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 2

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Didier Givois/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

August 2 - Independence Day in Macedonia. Most sacred, honored and celebrated day of the Macedonian people is the anniversary of the uprising against the Ottoman Empire. Turkish reprisals against the insurgents were ruthless, including the destruction of 105 villages and the execution of more than 1,7000 noncombatants. (1903). * Friendship Day. * Declaration of Independence signed (1776) Contrary to widespread misconceptions, the 56 signers did not sign as a group and did not do so July 4, 1776. John Hancock and Charles Thompson signed only draft copies that day. The signing of the official declaration occurred on this date when 50 men probably took part. Later that year, five more apparently signed separately and one added his name in a subsequent year. * Iraqi tanks enter Kuwait (1990). Saddam Hussein accuses Kuwait and other Arab countries of flooding the world oil market. Approximately 21,000 foreign nationals from several countries were detained by Iraq and were transported to various strategic locations to deter possible retaliatory attacks. The US military action was the largest mobilization of forces since the Vietnam War. The following January, Desert Shield become Operation Desert Storm as the Allied forces went to war against Iraq. * Birthdays:  James Fallows, Carroll O'Connor, Pierre Charles L'Enfant, James Arthur Baldwin, Peter O'Toole.

DAILY THOUGHTS

As a tonic for our troubled world, friendship and behaving with consideration and care may seem light and even frivolous, but that could be because we have lost a sensitivity to the values of soul. Soul Mates

Rethink your meals with friends. Meet at a local restaurant for a dutch-treat evening out. You avoid the shopping, preparation, cooking and cleanup and your time and energy have been freed so you can enjoy each others' company. It doesn't have to be expensive, and if you split an entree, it doesn't have to be fattening. It doesn't even have to be an evening; Saturday and Sunday morning are a great time to have a relaxing meal out with friends. Simplify Your Life

While I'm sleeping, she'll put a ring of postage stamps around my penis. Then she'll start doing things to get me to break it - Doug 30. Just the thought of getting caught in the laundry room at my apartment complex was worth it - Toni 19. Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

During the 1979 filming of the movie Cruising, which negatively depicts gays as self-hating sadomasochists, gay activists blew whistles and cut electrical cables in an attempt to disrupt filming in New York. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Clean It Up. Stranger things have happened, but coincidentally enough, many children are lulled to sleep by the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Next time your baby cries - and you know she feels okay, has been fed and changed - see what happens when you take the vacuum cleaner out for a little stroll across the living room floor. Family Feelings

Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases, think for yourself. - Louisa May Alcott Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Local yacht races. Running to a hug. Perfectly made iced tea. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Enjoy the ride. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

\View the people you judge negatively as gifts, presented to show you what you are not accepting about yourself. Imagine that every time you are angered, hurt or irritated by another, you are actually being given the opportunity to heal past incidents of anger, hurt or irritation. Perhaps viewing weakness in others is an opportunity to extend the loving arm of compassion to them; or it could be the perfect moment to heal the unconscious judgment you have secretly harbored against yourself. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Born in Harlem on this day in 1924, James Baldwin wrote twenty-two books and numerous essays during his forty-year career. Baldwin's work focused on his personal experience of being both African American and gay. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Quick Ways to Cut Fat: By making simple substitutions with kids' favorite foods, you can easily lower fat intake. Substitute a ground-round patty instead of a beef-chuck patty; a fat-free hot dog for the beef variety; packaged macaroni and cheese made with reduced-fat margarine and skim milk as opposed to the mix made with regular margarine and whole milk; and vanilla wafers instead of chocolate-chip cookies. Parents Tips & Tricks

Albert Einstein observed, "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Sometimes staying stressed out (with constant busyness) is a convenient excuse for not dealing with emotions you don't want to feel, problems you don't want to face, or relationships that are troublesome. If you're not taking action to reduce your level of stress in some way, you may want to ask yourself what you're avoiding. Stress Busters

Drink fizzy lemonade. Fill half your glass with pink lemonade and the other half with Sprite or 7 up. It tastes delicious!  To Do Today

Never let a day pass that you will have cause to say, "I will do better tomorrow." - Bringham Young. Win the Day!

La abuela (ahBWEHlah) Grandmother. Tu no tienes abuela, verdad? You don't mind singing your praises, do you? (Lit. You don't have a grandmother, right?). Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: FRIENDSHIP

Male Friendships. "Friendship is vowing toward immortality And does not know the passing away of beauty. - The Epic of Gilgamesh. Who is your best male friend? Speak his name out loud. What feelings do you have as you think about him? When was the last time you saw him? What do you imagine him doing right at this moment? What is it about him that you like? How would you like to see your relationships grow? Are you satisfied with it, or would you like changes? What do you share and have in common? How do you differ? Be brave enough to think about what you want and even ask for it. If you do not have such a male friend, imagine him. What would he be and look like?  Perhaps he is a man of a different age or race. What qualities would he possess? What would your relationship be like? What might you do together? How would you support each other? Now wit this real or imaginary best friend, consider how you can strengthen and deepen your connection. Make a plan to see him and do something together. As you consider this, do any fears emerge? Does he remind you of someone? What does closeness with a man mean to you? Does this closeness with a man frighten you? What do you want from this new or old best friend? How might you help each other? Today I will think about what I want to offer a male friend. What might he need from me? What skills do I possess that I can offer him? A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

"Personal relations are the important things for ever and ever, and not the outer life of telegrams and anger." - E. M. Forster. Friendship. Now there's an alien concept for men who do too much. Our overcommitment gives us reason not to cultivate friendships. And friendships don't just spring up like dandelions in April. Friendships take time. They must be tended. Nurtured. But the joy that is inherent in a trusting, long-term friendship is nearly impossible to describe. But not impossible to engender. I know it is important to have friends. I am not whole without someone I can trust and who can trust me. I will begin to look at those I know with an eye toward developing friendships. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

"How good and how pleasant it is that brothers sit together." - Psalm 133. Men are lonely and more vulnerable to additions and codependency when they have no firm friendships with other men. Do we have one or two male friends who truly know us, know what really goes on in our lives, what we feel, and what our doubts are? If we do, these relationships are precious. We need to nourish them. If we do not, we need to find others who might become friends. We begin by making small steps in the development of a friendship. The joys of sharing with other men, finding humor in our mutual flaws, and joining in similar interests have no substitutes. Relationships develop when someone reaches out. It is easier for us to do this if we remember our friendship is a gift to someone else. We need friendships with both women and men in order to be whole. But understanding ourselves as men begins with closeness to other men. I am grateful for precious friendships with men and women in my life. They help me grow. Today, can I strengthen my friendships with another man? Touchstones

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Sex at Dawn: The prehistoric origins of modern sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are staying married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages. How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to the authors' renegade thinking While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book. Their central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care and often sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy and pschosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation and generosity. With intelligence, humor and wonder, the authors show how our promiscuous past haunts out struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens' why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women/ why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, this book unapologetic ally upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. 2010, www.SexAtDawn.com, HarperCollins, www.harpercollins.com, ISBN 978-0-06-170780-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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