Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

OCTOBER 22

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Achieve Your Dreams

October 22 - President Kennedy addresses the nation in a televised talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis (1962). He demanded the removal from Cuba of Soviet missiles, launched equipment and bombers, and imposed a naval "quarantine" to prevent further weaponry from reaching Cuba. On Oct 28, the USSR announced it would remove the weapons in question. In return, the US removed missiles from Turkey that were aimed at the USSR. * Doctors identify the disease killing many people as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), which destroys the T lymphocytes (1985). * World's End Day. (1844) Anniversary of the day set a the one on which the world would end by followers of William Miller, religious leader and creator of a movement known as Millerism. Stories about followers disposing of all earthly possessions and climbing to high places on that date are believed to be apocryphal. Miller died at Low Hampton, NY, Dec 20, 1849. * Independence Day in Holy See * Birthdays: Brian Anthony Boitano, George Beadle, Timothy Leary, Franz Liszt,  Jeff Goldblum, Derek Jacobi, Christopher Lloyd, Robert Rauschenberg, Tony Roberts.

Obey traffic signs and use hand signals when bicycling!
Be an example to your kids - wear a helmet!)

DAILY THOUGHTS

The whole dating ritual seems backwards to me. We should screw and then go to dinner. - Marcy, 29 She's kneading the tension out of my shoulders while we're doing it. - Jerome, 32 The Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

What's the best way to help your children prepare for an exam? Instead of urging that your children cram hard the night before, explain the value of accumulated practice sessions, fifteen to thirty minutes each day, over a period of time. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

To practice our lives intelligently, we need to understand that we can be responsible only in matters open to our control - our own choices and actions, no one else's. We may be able to influence but we cannot control another person's mind or mood. New Passages Calendar

Evil backfires in the big picture of human evolution. For every soul it destroys - and there are many - it is instrumental in the salvation of others. Our personal involvement in the fight against evil in the world is one of the ways we grow. The Road Less Traveled Calendar

The Greek god Hermes was known as the "guide of souls," but he was also a strong sexual deity. From a Hermes point of view, sex offers guidance toward soulfulness, especially toward the deep places of the soul. Soul Mates Calendar

Don't worry, don't panic, don't let go. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  The sweet-salt essence of the sea. Cycling through wine country during harvest. Peppermint tea and sticky buns. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Look both ways. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Awareness is the process of becoming fully conscious. Awareness can trickle into the corners of your mind slowly, as you clean out the cobwebs, or it can dawn suddenly the moment you become cognizant of your patterns and begin to see yourself objectively. However it is attained, it is like a light bulb being switched on that illuminates the dark pockets of your unconscious mind. It is the first step to facilitating any change you wish to make in yourself. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

In 1991, Demet Demir became the first person in history to be considered an Amnesty International prisoner of conscience on the basis of her sexual orientation. Demir, a Turkish transsexual activist, has been harassed, imprisoned, and tortured by Turkish authorities in an effort to stop her activism. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

No-control problems (those we can do nothing about) involve taking the responsibility to change the line on the bottom of our face - to smile, to genuinely and peacefully accept these problems and learn to live with them, even though we don't like them. In this way, we do not empower these problems to control us. We share in the spirit embodied in the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Halloween Tombstone Chillers. Chills and thrills in every bite: Cut two ice cream sandwiches in half and trim to round off tops of all four pieces. Pipe decorating icing around the border to outline the shape (orange icing looks great). Write fun names or sayings on tombstones. Set tombstones upright on a small plate and pipe a small amount of icing along the lower edge to act as glue for green "grass" sprinkles. Place in freezer or serve immediately. Parents Tips & Tricks

Tension Eraser:  Pretend you're swimming through jello. Very slowly stretch out your arms and pull them back in a breast-stroking motion to work out tension in your arms, shoulders, and chest. Complete 10 slow deliberate cycles of your arms. Stress Busters

For the kids: Swaddle a friend in toilet paper to play the Mummy Game. It's great at parties!  Compete to be the first one to wrap a full roll of toilet paper around a teammate.  To Do Today

The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Charles F. Kettering. Win the Day!

El Ballet (BAHleh) Ballet. Ballet Folklorico de Mexico. Is the term used to describe the various folk dances of Mexico, each flavored by regional characteristics and influences. For example, in the northern state of Chihuahua, which was home to many European settlers, the people incorporated waltzes and polkas into a new dance known as the Norteno. Elsewhere, some typical dances from the southern state of Chiapas were inspired by ancient Mayan and Aztec rituals celebrating nature. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: COURTESY

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices. Ralph Waldo Emerson. We men who do next to nothing are constantly feeling the pressure to be nice, to be courteous, to mind our manners and do our fair share. Many of us have given in to this restrictive mandate and have experimented with politeness. We found out that being polite is not only dishonest an detrimental to our recovery, but a lot of unnecessary effort that doesn't pay off in the long run. Those of us trying to get clearer with ourselves must face the fact that courtesy is a deception. Real men don't really say "Excuse me."  They don't write thank-you notes. They don't volunteer to help with the dishes. They don't get up and leave the room when they have to fart. So why lie to ourselves and those close to us? Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. If we want to be honest with ourselves and others, we have to be willing to let go of niceness along with excess intestinal gas. Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?v

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 The Invisible Presence: How a man's relationship with his mother affects all his relationships with women, Michael Gurian. Whether he’s conscious of it or not, a man’s mother is the model for just about every relationship with a woman he has for the rest of his life. Sometimes it’s obvious (just ask his wife or girlfriend), sometimes it’s more subtle, but when you see it, it becomes crystal clear. For fifteen years, this book has helped men understand their mothers’ pervasive influence over the way they relate to women—both the positive and negative aspects of it. But more than that, it has helped thousands of men break free of old relationship patterns. Gurian gives men a wealth of practical exercises and meditations they can use to recognize their mothers’ influence in relationships, and to establish a healthy and rewarding new basis for relationships that will benefit themselves and the women in their lives as well. This new edition of the book formerly titled Mothers, Sons, and Lovers includes a new preface and study questions by the author.www.MichaelGurian.com, Shambhala, www.shambhala.com, ISBN 978-1-599030-807-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html 

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

October is Adopt-a-Shelter Dog; Alternate History; Auto Battery Safety; Campaign for Healthier Babies; Celiac Sprue Awareness; Child Health; Computer Learning; Diversity Awareness; Dryer Vent Safety Awareness; Energy Management is a Family Affair-Improve Your Home; Family History; Family Sexuality Education, Fantasy; Gay and Lesbian History; Health Literacy; International Fired Up; Listen to Your Inner Critic; Lupus Awareness; National AIDS Awareness; National Animal Safety and Protection; *National Breast Cancer Awareness; National Car Care; National Crime Prevention; National Depression Education and Awareness; *National Disability Employment Awareness; *National Domestic Violence Awareness; National Family Health, National Family Sexuality Education; National "Gain the Inside Advantage"; National Home Inspection; National Orthodontic Health; National Pharmacy; National Physical Therapy; National Pizza; National Popcorn Poppin'; National Roller Skating; National Skin Care Awareness; National Spinal Health; National Toilet Tank Repair; Pediatric Cancer Awareness; Rett Syndrome Awareness; Sarcastics Awareness; Substance Abuse Prevention; Talk About Prescriptions; Unmasking Halloween Dangers; Vegetarian Awareness Month.

9/15-10/15: Hispanic Heritage Month. 10/1-7: Mental Illness Awareness; *Minority Enterprise Development; National Health Care Food Oct 8-14: *Fire Prevention; Home Based Business; National Adult Immunization Awareness; *National School Lunch, National Walk to School Week. 10/9-13: Pet Peeve, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week. 10/10-16: Wildlife Week. 10/14-20: Ally, Pharmacy Week. 10/15-21: Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door; *National Character Counts; Teen Read Week. 10/16-22: National Health Education Week. 10/22-28: National Massage Therapy Awareness, National Save Yur Back Week. 10/23-31: Red Ribbon 10/25-31: Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week. 10/1: World Vegetarian Day. 10/2: World Habitat Day, 10/3: Techies Day. 10/4: Toot Your Flute Day. 10/8 Global Learn Day; National Children's Day. 10/9: Indigenous Persons Day; *Leif Erikson Day, Yom Kippur, Canadian Thanksgiving Day. 10/11: Coming Out; Teddy Bear to Work Day; 10/12: Oktoberfest. 10/13: Blame Someone Else; Scream, Train Your Brain Day, Friday the 13th. 10/14: Sukkot. Be Bald and Be Free Day. 10/15: National Grouch; *White Cane Safety Day. 10/16: Dictionary;  Boss' Day, Intl. Librarians World Food Day. 10/17: Black Poetry, International Eradication of Poverty Day. 10/18: Canadian Persons;  Boost your Brain Day. 10/19: Evaluate Your Life Day 10/21: Sweetest Day. 10/22: Mother-In-Law; National Scientific Literacy Day. 10/23: National Mole Day. 10/24: United Nations Day. Black Thursday. 10/25: Cartoonists Against Crime Day. 10/26: Horseless Carriage; Mule, Intersex Awareness Day 10/27: Frankenstein Friday, Navy Day, Ugly Pickup Contest. 10/28: Make a Difference; Wild Foods Day; Day of Meditation. 10/29: Daylight Savings Times Ends. 10/31: Halloween; National Magic; *National Unicef Day. 11/2 is Election Day. Vote Absentee Ballot.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

Domestic Violence Prevention Month - See Issues. Also, see books on anger, violence-general, violence-domestic, violence-rape, violence-sexual, women's violence, sexual harassment plus Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs and Safe Dating in Merchandise and Alternatives to Violence programs. - resources for male and female perpetrators and male and female victims. Got some information to add, send it to mailto:violence@menstuff.org

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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