Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 19

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Eric Sandord/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

July 19 - Democratic Geraldine Ferraro is the first woman nominated by a major party to be a vice presidential candidate (1984). Interesting that on this same day in 1848, women demanded recognition of their equality to men in the legal, political, economic, religious and domestic spheres at Seneca Falls, New York. * A 30-hour rainfall flooded much of the Philippine Archipelago leaving as many as 289 dead and thousands without shelter, 45,000 in one province alone (1972) in Manila. * The second attempt to capture Fort Wagner outside Charleston, SC by Federal troops, was repulsed after loosing 1515 men as opposed to Southern losses of only 174. The attack was led by the 54th Massachusetts Colored Infantry, commanded by Colonel Robert Gould Shaw, who was killed in the action. This was the first use of black troops in the war. The film Glory was based on the Massachusetts 54th and this was the attack featured in the film. * Birthdays: Charles Horace Mayo, Philip Agee, George Stanley McGovern, Ilie Nastase, Anthony Edwards, Edgar Degas, Ilie Nastase, Campbell Scott.

DAILY THOUGHTS

After the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was signed by President Lyndon B. Johnson, the number African American voters in the South tripled. African American History

When you're on top, riding me, don't lean back too far. It really hurts when you do - Patrick, 21. Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future. On some level spiritual growth, and therefore love, always requires courage and involves risk. The Road Less Traveled

Move. Go forward or backward, whatever it takes; just move. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Best interests at heart. All-night jazz. Playful dolphins. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

One thing you can't pretend to be is funny. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

It takes courage to embrace the idea that what you make of your life is up to you and to actually do what you need to do. You can learn how to access your courage by digging down deep inside and tapping into whatever spiritual connection sustains you. Regardless of what your connection is to the divine source, cultivate it well, for you will need to call upon it in those moments when you require courage.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

D.C. Comics has produced a four-book miniseries, Metropolis S.C.U. (Special Crimes Unit), in which the main character is Captain Maggie Sawyer, a lesbian superhero. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Snack Attack: Don't despair if your child wants to snack frequently. A snack keeps a child's energy from flagging between meals. Just make sure to offer them something healthy, like fruit, yogurt, or cheese, about two hours before a meal. Parents Tips & Tricks

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself. I can stop trying to shape up my wife and can work on my own weaknesses. I can focus on being a great marriage partner, a source of unconditional love and support. Hopefully, my wife will feel the power of proactive example and respond in kind. But whether she does or doesn't, the most positive way I can influence my situation is to work on myself, on my being. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Simplify your lawn maintenance: Remember to water slowly and deeply. This is more effective than shorter, frequent sprinklings. The best time to water is early morning.  Simplify Your Life

Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one's aim. - John D. Rockefeller.  Win the Day!

(Editor:  I've just had an interesting experience that tells me a lot about my conditioning and how I perceive men and women are seen differently and expected to react differently. The message from this calendar is directed to girls and reads: "Spritz away homesickness! My mom taught me this. Spray a little of your mom's perfume on your favorite stuffed animal and take it with you. If you're lonely at night, smell the stuffed animal and remember your mom."  As this is a web site directed to men, I often change sexual reference and so I wrote "Spritz away homesickness!  Spray a little of your dad's cologne on your favorite stuffed animal and take it with you. If you're lonely at night, smell the stuffed animal and remember your dad." Now, take a minute and be honest. Did you react differently to the two messages? How?  Why? Is it any different for a child (even a daughter) to have positive memories, non-sexual in nature, in bed, with a stuffed animal and think of their father?  Well, I threw this calendar date away until I got to thinking, something's wrong here. Many children sleep with their parents. What kind of training are we possibly programming into our children that if it's a thought about dad, it's perverted. If it's a thought about mom, oh how nice. So, here it is. It may be a chance to change some of the cultural thought in your child before it gets too deeply imbedded.) To Do Today

El algodon (ahlgohDOHN) Cotton. Se crio entre algodon. He had a pampered childhood. (Lit. He was raised amidst cotton.) Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: CONTROL

Love is an act of courage, not of fear; love is commitment to others - Paulo Ferraro. Infants who are loved with an unconditional love that nourishes their bodies and spirits learn to love and accept themselves. As they grow older, they're able to love others, courageously and wholeheartedly. They develop both a firm sense of their own individuality and the capacity to merge with others, to transcend themselves and to set their egos aside. Only those who feel securely cared for are capable of selfless devotion and courage. The world needs people who are able to struggle for justice, to wage peace. Global issues enter all our lives, as poisoned rain falls everywhere. The place where we can influence world affairs is in our families, where the people who will make tomorrow's decisions are raised. We hope to have children who will make brave and compassionate choices in their lives, and we prepare them best by showing them our courage and compassion. Love is the most powerful force for change, for it is the creative power of the universe. Today, I renew my pledges of love, knowing I'll leave the courage to back them up. Family Feelings

Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best - Chinese proverb. How true. And what a perfect formula for a happy life, if only we can find the spiritual serenity to put down our pens, our fists, our memos, and our cellular phones and run like hell to the nearest corner bar. What has ever been accomplished through competition? Ulcers, high blood pressure, rampant anxiety, urban blight. Are these the legacies we wish to leave to the future?  Would we rather say to our grandchildren, "Yes, I stayed, I fought, I worked my whole life in order to retire and live on a fixed income that won't even let me buy the brand of toilet paper with the baby oil on it"? Or would we rather say, "No, I refused, I laid down on the couch, I turned on the television and now I live on the same fixed income, but I don't need the brand of toilet paper with the baby oil on it because I avoided the stress and don't have to contend with irritated-bowel syndrome"?  Brave men take naps where workaholics fear to tread. Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

The Spiritual Principle of Courage. This is the courage in a man: to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends - Euripides. We men have learned to associate courage with excelling on the field of battle: being heroic, fighting against the odds, overcoming an enemy by strength and cunning. Manly courage in our culture - in our myths, movies and music - has largely dealt with outwardly heroic acts. Although this kind of courage is real and not to be discounted, there are other forms of courage essential to the spiritual life. Looking inward to discover our faults and fears requires a different kind of courage. It is a brave man who can take a hard look at his life and see where he has harmed himself and others. It is not easy to place our own behaviors and our choices under the microscope. But often, once we search through the past, we're simply reminded that we're human. We have made mistakes and some of our choices may have been harmful. None of us enjoys admitting past mistakes and examining the motives behind them, but we have to do it if we're going to stop repeating the past. To heal the pain we've caused ourselves and others, we have to look at our lives squarely, unflinchingly. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Today, I will use my courage to review my past. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a divorced dad by Joel Schwartzberg. In a very funny and endearing collection of personal essays, award-winning and nationally-published writer shares stories of his ever-evolving, self-defining dadhood. This is a great book for any parent, particularly dads trying to sharpen their role and looking for insight through hysterical, heartbreaking, and heroic example. The essays are short and sharp, and many have been previously published in major newspapers and magazines. www.bookfordad.com, Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing, www.WyMacPublishing.com 2009, ISBN 978-1-932279-98-6

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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