Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

OCTOBER 19

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Bill Hatcher/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

October 19 - Yorktown Day. More than 7,000 English and Hessian troops, let by British General Lord Cornwallis, surrendered to General George Washington at Yorktown, VA, (1781) effectively ending the war between Britain and her American colonies. There were no more major battles, but the provisional treaty of peace was not signed until Nov 30, 1782 and the final Treaty of Paris, Sep 3, 1783. * In the worst stock crash in the history of the New York Stock Exchange, the Dow Jones industrial average falls 508 points, a decline of 22.6% (1987). * Birthdays: Jack Anderson, Evander Holyfield, Thomas Browne, Bradley Lee (Brad) Daugherty, Michael Gambon, John LeCarre (David John Moore Cornwell), John Lithgow, Peter Max, Simon Ward.

DAILY THOUGHTS

In 1992 there were approximately 350,000 African American businesses in the U.S., making up 3 percent of the total business population. African American History

The best was in a swing at the park one night. I sat down, she climbed on top and we just held onto the chains and swung for hours. - Jason, 29 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. - W.R. Wallace Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Baby Luck. It's good luck for a new baby to wear hand-me-downs. Never call a baby "angel". Never tickle a baby under the chin or stammering will result. Don't let a baby sit on a stone or cold-heartedness will result. The Old Farmer's Almanac

I define evil as the exercise of political power - that is, the imposition of one's will upon others by overt or covert coercion - in order to avoid extending one's self for the purpose of nurturing spiritual growth. Ordinary laziness is nonlove; evil is antilove. The Road Less Traveled

Ideas shape the course of history. - John Maynard Keynes. Achieve Your Dreams

Jersey Drag Hunt. Each Thursday and Saturday, from October until March on this Channel Island, a hunting activity, of which even the staunchest animal rights activist would approve, takes place. Neither fox, nor deer, nor rabbit is harmed, as a cloth permeated with alluring animal scents is instead drawn about the countryside by aficionados of faux hunting, either on horseback or on foot. In this century-old traidition, several dozen participants, which are occasionally groups of children, gleefully pursue phantom prey.  Forgotten English

Things to Be Happy About:  Skipping to the last page. Moorish arches and hand-painted tiles. Finding small ways to say thanks. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Hiding peas under your napkin only works once.  Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

In order to learn the lesson of compassion, you will need first to recognize when you have become trapped by your limiting judgments. The best way to do this is to pay attention to your breathing. If your breathing feels shallow or tight, you are most likely trapped in a judgment that needs to be released. Your conscious mind can also help identify when compassion is called for. Chances are, if you are able to pause in the middle of making a judgment long enough to consider compassion, then compassion is required. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

I suggest that you shift the paradigm of your own involvement in this material from the role of learner to that of teacher. Take an inside-out approach, and read with the purpose in mind of sharing or discussing what you learn with someone else within 48 hours after you learn it. You will not only better remember what you read but your perspective will be expanded, your understanding deepened, and your motivation to apply the material increased. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Establish this simple household rule: Turn off the lights, the TV, the stereo, the radios, and the CD player when you're not using them.  Simplify Your Life

Another Lullaby Favorite:  To get you past the first verse, here are the words to "Rock-A-Bye, Baby": Rock-a-bye, Baby, on the treetop, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, down will come Baby, cradle and all. Hush-a-bye, Baby, up in the sky. On a soft cloud, 'tis easy to fly. When the cloud bursts, the raindrops will pour. Down will come Baby to mother (father) once more. Parents Tips & Tricks

Create your own relaxing spa:  Add therapeutic mineral salts, oils or scented bubbles to your bath water and soak your tension away. Turn out the lights and surround yourself with aromatic candles while you bathe. Place an inflatable pillow behind your hear and lose yourself in a good book while you're in the tub. If you don't have a Jacuzzi, buy a whirlpool insert to convert an ordinary bath into an even more relaxing one. Stress Busters

For the kids:  Loop your letters!  Use a long piece of string to spell words. Try spelling the days of the week in both capital and lowercase letters.  To Do Today

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry, lost knowledge by study, lost health by temperance or medicine, but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles. Win the Day!

El Pato (PAHtoh) Duck. Siempre soy yo la que paga el pato. I always take the blame. (Lit. I am always the one who pays the duck.)  Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: UNCERTANTY

One comes as a novice to each age of one's life. - Sebastien-Roch-Nicolas Chamfort. Life's major transitions are rough; no one know how to be married, or orphaned, or widowed, or adolescent, before the fact. We go through our early changes in a family setting, and we may have the image of others' experience to guide us; but that's like saying we know how to run a mile from watching a race. Until we experience each new stage of life for ourselves, feel it in our brains and hearts, inhabit it with our bodies and spirits, we really don't know it. Many of us set unrealistic goals for ourselves: winning a place on the swim team by June; making a million before we're thirty. Or else - less obvious, but just as unrealistic - we expect ourselves to know how to behave in a totally new phase of life. I should know better, we tell ourselves, and so we compound the anguish of uncertainty by punishing ourselves for being uncertain. Life is a gift. Even apparent losses are gifts: they can deepen our tenderness and understanding, so that we treat ourselves and others more gently. We're learning throughout our lives, learning to be where we are. Admitting our powerlessness and surrendering our control, we can face each day freshly and authentically. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Today is my gift to myself. I'll enjoy the novelty of being exactly where I am. Family Feelings Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 The Invisible Presence: How a man's relationship with his mother affects all his relationships with women, Michael Gurian. Whether he’s conscious of it or not, a man’s mother is the model for just about every relationship with a woman he has for the rest of his life. Sometimes it’s obvious (just ask his wife or girlfriend), sometimes it’s more subtle, but when you see it, it becomes crystal clear. For fifteen years, this book has helped men understand their mothers’ pervasive influence over the way they relate to women—both the positive and negative aspects of it. But more than that, it has helped thousands of men break free of old relationship patterns. Gurian gives men a wealth of practical exercises and meditations they can use to recognize their mothers’ influence in relationships, and to establish a healthy and rewarding new basis for relationships that will benefit themselves and the women in their lives as well. This new edition of the book formerly titled Mothers, Sons, and Lovers includes a new preface and study questions by the author.www.MichaelGurian.com, Shambhala, www.shambhala.com, ISBN 978-1-599030-807-3

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

October is Adopt-a-Shelter Dog; Alternate History; Auto Battery Safety; Campaign for Healthier Babies; Celiac Sprue Awareness; Child Health; Computer Learning; Diversity Awareness; Dryer Vent Safety Awareness; Energy Management is a Family Affair-Improve Your Home; Family History; Family Sexuality Education, Fantasy; Gay and Lesbian History; Health Literacy; International Fired Up; Listen to Your Inner Critic; Lupus Awareness; National AIDS Awareness; National Animal Safety and Protection; *National Breast Cancer Awareness; National Car Care; National Crime Prevention; National Depression Education and Awareness; *National Disability Employment Awareness; *National Domestic Violence Awareness; National Family Health, National Family Sexuality Education; National "Gain the Inside Advantage"; National Home Inspection; National Orthodontic Health; National Pharmacy; National Physical Therapy; National Pizza; National Popcorn Poppin'; National Roller Skating; National Skin Care Awareness; National Spinal Health; National Toilet Tank Repair; Pediatric Cancer Awareness; Rett Syndrome Awareness; Sarcastics Awareness; Substance Abuse Prevention; Talk About Prescriptions; Unmasking Halloween Dangers; Vegetarian Awareness Month.

9/15-10/15: Hispanic Heritage Month. 10/1-7: Mental Illness Awareness; *Minority Enterprise Development; National Health Care Food Oct 8-14: *Fire Prevention; Home Based Business; National Adult Immunization Awareness; *National School Lunch, National Walk to School Week. 10/9-13: Pet Peeve, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week. 10/10-16: Wildlife Week. 10/14-20: Ally, Pharmacy Week. 10/15-21: Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door; *National Character Counts; Teen Read Week. 10/16-22: National Health Education Week. 10/22-28: National Massage Therapy Awareness, National Save Yur Back Week. 10/23-31: Red Ribbon 10/25-31: Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week. 10/1: World Vegetarian Day. 10/2: World Habitat Day, 10/3: Techies Day. 10/4: Toot Your Flute Day. 10/8 Global Learn Day; National Children's Day. 10/9: Indigenous Persons Day; *Leif Erikson Day, Yom Kippur, Canadian Thanksgiving Day. 10/11: Coming Out; Teddy Bear to Work Day; 10/12: Oktoberfest. 10/13: Blame Someone Else; Scream, Train Your Brain Day, Friday the 13th. 10/14: Sukkot. Be Bald and Be Free Day. 10/15: National Grouch; *White Cane Safety Day. 10/16: Dictionary;  Boss' Day, Intl. Librarians World Food Day. 10/17: Black Poetry, International Eradication of Poverty Day. 10/18: Canadian Persons;  Boost your Brain Day. 10/19: Evaluate Your Life Day 10/21: Sweetest Day. 10/22: Mother-In-Law; National Scientific Literacy Day. 10/23: National Mole Day. 10/24: United Nations Day. Black Thursday. 10/25: Cartoonists Against Crime Day. 10/26: Horseless Carriage; Mule, Intersex Awareness Day 10/27: Frankenstein Friday, Navy Day, Ugly Pickup Contest. 10/28: Make a Difference; Wild Foods Day; Day of Meditation. 10/29: Daylight Savings Times Ends. 10/31: Halloween; National Magic; *National Unicef Day. 11/2 is Election Day. Vote Absentee Ballot.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

Domestic Violence Prevention Month - See Issues. Also, see books on anger, violence-general, violence-domestic, violence-rape, violence-sexual, women's violence, sexual harassment plus Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs and Safe Dating in Merchandise and Alternatives to Violence programs. - resources for male and female perpetrators and male and female victims. Got some information to add, send it to mailto:violence@menstuff.org

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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