Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

MAY 19

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Galen Rowell/Mountain Light
Achieve Your Dreams

May 19 -  *Armed Forces Day. Arms carry peace. - Italian proverb. * Boys' Club founded (1906) * Dark Day in New England (1780) At midday near-total darkness unaccountably descended on much of New England. Candles were lit, fowls went to roost, and many fearful persons believed that doomsday had arrived. No scientifically verifiable cause for this widespread phenomenon was ever discovered.* Mars 3 (USSR) entered Martian orbits on Nov 27 and sent down a TV  equipped capsule that soft-landed and transmitted pictures for 20 seconds. * 27th Amendment ratified prohibiting Congress from giving itself midterm pay raises. * Birthdays: Peter Townshend, Ho Chi Minh (Nguyen That Thanh), Malcolm X, Francis B Scobee (Commander of the ill-fated space shuttle Challenger.), David Hartman, William (Bill) Laimbeer, Jr., James Lehrer, James Fox, Kevin Garnett, Eric Lloyd.

DAILY THOUGHTS

We need an appreciation of the family shadow - the tensions, differences, antagonisms, and clashes that play a constructive role in the family soul. Soul Mates

The first African American real estate broker operated in the city of Pittsburgh, PA in 1849. African American History

Please pay more attention to my testicles and less to my penis. - Jordan, 28 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy, train conductor, nurse, doctor, lawyer?  Some theories hold that a child's first occupational wish is one that is never forgotten and is secretly cherished for the rest of his or her life. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Take the Sting Out of Shots. I've found a way to keep my 4-year-old son from getting too upset or frightened during painful procedures like shots. After the doctor explains what he's going to do, I produce a small wrapped gift from my pocket. We make a game out of guessing what it is; sometimes the doctor even joins in. By the time we unwrap the package, the worst is over. We leave with smiles instead of tears. Bruce Hanway, U.S. Naval Station, Rota, Spain. Family Feelings

The fundamental shift for women who have reached their fifties entails moving away from dependence and trying to please everyone else, toward repossessing their intellectuality and originality of thought. Mastery is an accumulated inner strength, not dependent on immediate outer conditions or the approval of others. New Passages

Cathecting is the process by which an object becomes important to us. Once cathected, the object, commonly referred to as a "love object," is invested with our energy as if it were a part of ourselves, and this relationship between us and the invested object is called a cathexis. The Road Less Traveled

Stay focused, stay curious; do what you say you will do. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  The feel of velour, Lasting values. Photographic journals. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Sometimes you find the neatest dragonfly when you're out looking for tadpoles. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

A young women named Alisa spent close to a year planning her wedding. She and her fiancée invited over three hundred guests to what was to be al lavish, formal affair in a beautiful banquet hall. The big day came and everything went brilliantly until the very expensive wedding cake was rolled out. A wheel of the table got caught on a wire, and the cake went flying through the air, finally landing in a big chocolate-and-icing spattered mess on the dance floor. Much to everyone's surprise, Alisa looked down at the cake, started to laugh, and joked, "Hey, I ordered a vanilla cake!" A crisis can quickly be turned into a comedy when you invite in humor.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

There are three central values in life: the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response to difficult circumstances. The highest of these is attitudinal. In other words, what matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Move to a smaller house. It can be a tremendous emotional and psychological relief not to have to worry about that big house, the big yard, and the ever increasing complexities of owning an oversized house that no longer fits your lifestyle.  Simplify Your Life

Lack of sleep leads to reduced tolerance for frustration and increased irritability. Even an hour of lost sleep can reduce alertness by 20% the next day. If you have difficulty sleeping:  (1) Take a warm, aromatic bubble bath by candlelight, with calming music. (2)  Drink a glass of warm milk. (3) Wear earplugs or an eye mask to eliminate noise or light. (4) Focus your concentration on your immediate senses - saying to yourself over and over what you see, feel and hear until you eventually fall asleep. (5) Get out of bed and do something relaxing, such as reading, until you feel drowsy. (6) Count backwards from 1,000. Stress Busters

Help you kids make shortalls!  If they have outgrown their overalls over the winter, cut off the pant legs at the knee. No, roll up the cuffs and you're done! To Do Today

You always pass failure on the way to success. - Mickey Rooney Win the Day!

Las gafas (GAHfahs). Glasses. Necesito gafas para leer. I need glasses to read. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: HIDING

.I'm trying to arrange my life so that I don't even have to be present. - Unknown

All of us like to hide out. The trouble is some of us only like to hide out. We'd delegate breathing if it were possible.

Hiding can be healthy, but it can also be bad for us. If we use too much camouflage, those we care about cannot find us. We're nonentities, lost on purpose. Of course, when you hide you don't have to take part in life.

Many of us hide out in our calendars, or at sports events, on airplanes, rushing from one metro area to another, one board meeting to another, keeping in touch via our precious cellular phones. Never out of reach, but never within reach.

Those of us who hide, who aren't present, are missing just bout everything - especially growth. Today, I'll be more forthcoming, more approachable, more present for those who love me and for those I love. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Take up painting (or some form of art) as a way to relax without keeping score. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?.

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Sex Advice From...DJs, sorority girls, cowboys, car dealers, bartenders, pool cleaners, hairstylists.by Nerve.com. This book features photos of real people with interesting jobs -0 and even more interesting sex lives. Before sending their brace correspondents into the trenches, the editors at Nerve.com - the acclaimed sex and dating web site - spent weeks locked inside the Nerve war room drawing up a comprehensive list of questions about all things sex - dirty talk, home vidieos, hygiene, blow jobs and techiques, and threesomes, to name just a few. The correspondents then traveled far and wide in search of novel advice. They spoke to tour guides in Washington; lifeguards in New Jersey; pool cleaners in Hollywood' sideshow performers at Coney Island; and expats living all over the globe. The result? This chunky paperback, chockful of everything you ever wanted to know about sex but were too afraid to ask the salesman at your local used car dealership. www.chroniclebooks.com, 2006 ISBN 1 0-8118-5002-1

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

May is: Skin Cancer Awareness, * Masturbation Month; Asian Pacific American Heritage;. Better Hearing and Speech; Better Sleep; Correct Posture; Creative Beginnings; Family Support; Foster Care; Get Caught Reading; Helping American Youth; National Allergy/Asthma Awareness; National Arthritis; National Barbecue; Good Car-Keeping; Hepatitis Awareness; Mental Health; Osteoporosis Prevention; Physical Fitness and Sports; Recommitment; Scholarship; Self-Discovery; Senior Citizens Month , Senior Travel; Sight-Saving; Stroke Awareness; Teaching and Joy, Teen Pregnancy Prevention, Tuberous; Sclerosis Awareness; *Older Americans; Personal History Awareness; Revise Your Work Schedule; and Strike Out Strokes Month. The most tornados happen in May.

May 14-Jun 18: National Family Month. Apr 29-May 5: *National Science & Technology Week. May 1-7: Cartoon Art Appreciation Week. May 5-11: National Nurses Day and Week. May 6-12: Be Kind to Animals; Flexible Work Arrangements; *Jewish Heritage; National Family; National Pet; PTA Teacher Appreciation; Suicide Awareness; Wildflower; and Teacher Appreciation Week. May 7-13 National Etiquette; and National Herb Week. May 13-219: National Medical Services; *Nat Police; *National Transportation; and *World Trade Week. May 19-25: *National Safe Boating Week. May 20-26: Good Stewardship; International Reggae Music; National New Friends-Old Friends; and, National Reflexology Awareness Week. May 21-28: Buckle Up America; and, National Backyard Games Week. May 1: May Day observed since ancient times and has become Labor Day in most countries except the U.S., Bermuda and Canada. Kindness Day, Teen Day, Freedom Riders Anniversary, Executive Coaching Day. *Law Day. *Loyalty Day. Peace of Mind Day. 40th Anniversary of the U-2 Incident with Francis Gary Powers. May 2: Holocaust Rememberance Day. May 6:: National Day of Hearing Testing. May 8: V-E Day 55th Anniversary, World Red Cross Day, May 9: National Receptionests Day, National Teachers Day. May 10: National Small Business Day. May 12: Chronic Fatigue Awareness Day May 14: *Mother's Day. May 15: *Peace Officer Memorial Day May 19: *National Defense Transportation Day. National Bike to Work Day. May 20: *Armed Forces Day. May 21: National Waitstaff Day, Neighbor Day Youth Against Violence. May 22: *National Maritime Day. May 25: National Missing Children's Day. May 26: Morning Radio Wise Guy Day. May 28:  Ancestor Honor Day. Memorial Day. (celebrated on Monday the *29th Memorial Day Prayer for Peace requests flying the flag at half-staff for the customary forenoon period.) May 31: National Senior Health and Fitness Day. World No-Tobacco Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation was made.

May 25: National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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