Daily Thoughts & Issues



Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Dugald Bremner/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

January 17 - Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. (Conmemoracion del Natalicio de Martin Luther King, Jr.) * A 6.6 earthquake strikes Northridge, CA near Los Angeles on this date in 1994.* First Nuclear-Powered submarine voyage (1955), the Nautilus. * President Dwight D. Eisenhower, in his farewell address to the nation of national radio and television, spoke the sentences that would be the most quoted and remembered of his presidency. * Japan suffered its second most deadly earthquake in the 20th century when a 20-second trembler left 5,500 dead and more than 21,600 people injured (1995). * According to villagers, fire fell from the sky over Palomares, Spain. An American B-52 bombed carrying four hydrogen bombs collided with its refueling plane, spilling the bombs (two of which had "chemical explosions," scattering radioactive plutonium over the area. In a cleanup, American soldiers burned crops, slaughtered animals and removed tons of topsoil (which was sent to South Carolina for burial). (1966). * Hawaiian Queen Liliuokalan, the last monarch of Hawaii, lost her throne when the monarchy was abolished by the "Committee of Safety". The Queen's supports were intimidated by the 300 US Marines sent to protect American lives and property. * An earthquake measuring 6.6 struck the Los Angeles area (1994). The epicenter was at Northridge in the San Fernando Valley, about 20 miles northwest of downtown LA. A death toll of 51 was announced Jan 20. Sixteen of the dead were killed in the collapse of one apartment building. More than 25,000 people were made homeless by the quake and 680,000 lost electric power. * Saint Anthony's Day, feast day honoring Egyptian hermit who became the first Christian monk and who established communities of hermits. * Birthdays: Benjamin Franklin, Robert Maynard Hutchins, Muhammad Ali (born Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr.), Jim Carrey, David Caruso, James Earl Jones, Maury Povich, Vidal Sassoon, Paul Young, Donald William (Don) Zimmer.


The Spiritual Principle of Humility. There is no humiliation in humility. - Joseph Roux. By asking our Creator to remove our shortcomings, we admit that through self-will alone we cannot heal ourselves. This opens the door to humility. Throughout our lives we were taught to be self-reliant, never asking for anything. Now we ask for help. By acknowledging that "I can't" and "God can", we begin to learn the true meaning of humility. Again and again we have tried to "go it alone", only to find each time that we couldn't make any real progress without tapping into a spiritual force. There is no humiliation in this knowledge. Instead there is hope and joy in humbly knowing that our Creator is both wiser and more powerful than we are and, if asked, will actively help us on our journey. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

"I have a dream." - Martin Luther King, Jr. Lack of purpose and direction in life can be a significant but unrecognized source of stress for many. If you have not yet found a sense of meaning in your life, give some serious thought to what might provide it for you. Stress Busters

7 to 10 - Teaching Tolerance. Prejudice is learned. So is acceptance. Here are some tips for getting the issue of tolerance out on the table: (1) Hold many brief conversations instead of one long lecture. This will show your child that they can bring up the subject for discussion at any time. (2) Don't be wishy-washy. Children are far more likely to pay attention when you talk specifically and answer their questions directly. (3) Don't worry if you don't have all the answers. Lack of knowledge can provide a golden opportunity to go to the library or go on-line to find out more. (4) Don't tolerate prejudicial language or humor. (Editor: "Reply to All" when you receive prejudicial jokes via email and state the negative impact they have on you and ask not to receive them anymore.) (5) Use television and books as tools to explore prejudice and stereotyping. Parents Tips & Tricks

Most guys want to do it fast when we're doggie-style. Try it slow and you won't be sorry. - Cathy, 22 The Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

There is nothing wrong, in our thirties, with projecting a false self to the outside world, so long as it isn't too distant or disconnected from who we really are. Later, in our forties and fifties, it becomes imperative to find our way back to the truest things we know and to compose a more authentic self. New Passages I wonder what would happen if we started presenting our authentic self to the world in our teens or twenties or thirties or from birth?  I wonder. - Ed

When the occasion is piled high with difficulty, that's when we must rise with the occasion. - Abraham Lincoln. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: A hat you can pull over your ears; sensitivity to racial differences. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Rather than viewing your own mistakes as failures and others' mistakes as slights, you can view them as opportunities to learn. As Emerson said, "Every calamity is a spur and a valuable hint." Every situation in which you do not live up to your own expectations is a opportunity to learn something important about your own thoughts and behaviors. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but to schedule your priorities. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Few things complicate your life more than spending eight to ten hours a day, five to six days a week at a job you don't like, doing something you don't want to do. If you know what you want to do, simply make up your mind to make the switch, and then do it. Simplify Your Life

Kids birthday: Prior to lighting the candles, give everyone two marshmallows. Have them put them in their mouths, light the candles, and everyone sing "Happy Birthday". It's also great for charades, but instead of acting out words, say them. Try words like Bugs Bunny and January. To Do Today

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. - Martin Luther King, Jr. Win the Day!

Love your children enough to say, "no" and make it stick. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

On this date (1917) the Original Dixieland Jazz Band opened in New York City. It was the first group to use the strange word that no one knew how to spell. Another version was "jass" and the New Orleans Times-Picayune called it "a musical vice."  The Old Farmer's Almanac

Always check your local building code before installing insulation. Stanley do-it-yourself Handyman Hints

Determination. Remember "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"? Maybe it sounded sappy or glib, but it's true. Your determination is a powerful force. When you move into your future with desire fueled by conviction, you open the way to success. That doesn't mean it will occur on first attempt, or even second or third. What it does mean is that with determination, in time you'll find a way to succeed. So many people give up right away - on their marriage, on a date, on romance after the baby comes. It's such a shame. With more curiosity, patience and the realization that nothing worth having comes fully formed, determination can help you reinvent your life in ways far better than you may even be able to imagine. What do you want from your marriage - realistically - that you can determine to achieve? How do you have to open more with your partner in order to increase your chances of succeeding? Fire up your imagination and begin today!  My determination is powerful. "This proves that if you put your mind to something and you keep working and keep doing, your dream does come true."  Madonna  Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

El despertador (dehspehrtahDOHR) - alarm clock. Living Language


When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain

Many of us idealize our parents when we're very young. Then when we get old enough to see that maybe they're not the smartest, wisest, most truthful and heroic people in history, as well as the best cooks, we feel disillusioned. They made mistakes; they got drunk, got divorced, went bankrupt, burned the toast. If we can't rely on them for perfection, whom can we trust?

Accepting imperfection is a difficult part of growing up because even if we're able to accept our parents', we may expect the impossible of ourselves. It's well to remind ourselves that perfection is an idea, an intellectual toy. Even in geometry, nothing is truly perfect. Beating myself up for my imperfections is as silly as punishing the irregularity of a circle.

Once we can accept that all qualities are mixed, we may be surprised at how much wisdom and goodness our imperfect parents have to share with us. And - as a corollary - we might know more than we think we do. Family Feelings

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. If human beings could be perfect, life might have the qualities of geometry - neater than it is, but a lot less interesting. Family Feelings Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?


Be the Change:  How meditation can transform you and the world by Ed & Deb Shapiro. A prisoner in a Chinese jail, the author was able to find solace by sitting quietly in contemplation. Deeply affected by the experience of walking on the moon, astronaut Edgar Mitchell went from exploring outer space to discovering the vastness of inner space. While coping with HIV, Mark Matousek found healing through group meditation. Seane Corn used her yoga and meditation expertise to work with child prostitutes in Los Angeles. In the last few decades, people in all walks of life have begun to realize the profound benefits of meditation. While this ancient practice is personally transformative in that it calms the mind and reduces stress, awakens the heart, and deepens insight, can meditation also change the world for the better? Two award-winning authors and some of today's most notable voices explore this issue, reflecting on how looking within can resolve issues such as anger and fear, inspiring a movement toward a more caring and peaceful future. Sterling Ethos, www.sterlingpublishing.com, 2009 ISBN 978-1-4027-6001-3





  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html


  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html


January is: Birth Defects Prevention, Cervical Health Awareness, National Voluteer Blood Donor; Bald Eagle Watch; Celebration of Life; Fat Free Living; International Get Over It; International Life Balance; It's Okay to Be Different; Love Yourself; March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention; National Be On-Purpose; National Book; National Clean Up Your Computer; National Environmental Policy Act; National Eye Care; National Glaucoma Awareness; National High-Tech; National Personal Self-Defense Awareness; National Poverty in America Awareness; National Reaching Your Potential; National Yours, Mine and Ours; Senior-Spirit; Sew for the Cure Month.

12/26-1/1: Kwanzaa. 12/31-1/6: Celebration of Life; Diet Resolution; National Lose Weight/Feel Great; New Year's Resolution; Silent Record Week; 1/5-13: Wilderness Wildlife Week of Nature. 1/6-12: Someday We'll Laugh About This Week.1/7-11: National Graves' Disease Awareness Week. 1/7-13: Universal Letter-Writing Week. 1/10-17: International Thank You Days. 1/13-19: Fire the Boss, International Printing, Let Men Be Our Heroes, Special Education Week. 1/14-18: Manwatchers Week. 1/20-26: Healthy Weight, National Creative Frugality, National Nurse Anesthetists, Solo-Preneuring Week. 1/21-25: Direct Deposit Week. 1/22-28: No Name Calling Week 1/21-25: *National Consumer Protection Week. 1/31-2/3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas/Groundhog's Day. 1/1: Attention to Dreams and Desires; Get a Life; Saint Basil's; Z Day. 1/2: Happy New Year for Cats; National Thrift with Flair Day. 1/6: International Respect-full Living Day; National Smith Day. Jan 7: United Kingdom Solid Gold Hat Day. Orthodox Christian Christmas. 1/8: National Bubble; Clean-Off-Your-Desk; Joygerm: Saint Gudula's Feast; Show & Tell at Work Day. 1/12 - National Handwriting Day. 1/15 - Humanitarian, Moliere, National Thank God It's Monday Day. 1/16 - Psychiatric Technicians Day. 1/18: Get to Know Your Customer Day. 1/19: International Sing-out Day. 1/20: Penguin Awareness Day. 1/21: National Hugging, World Religion Day. 1/22: World Religions Day, Celebration of Life Day. 1/23: Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day. 1/24: Just Do It Day - Make the Connection, National Compliment Day. 1/25: A Room of One's Own Day. 1/26: Fun at Work Day, Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement; Spouse's Day. 1/29: Freethinker's, National Puzzle Day. 1/30: Inane Answering Machine Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.

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