Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JANUARY 11

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Brad Wrobleski/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

January 11 - Hostos' Birthday (Puerto Rico). * On this date in 1964, A Surgeon General's report indicates cigarette smoking can be deadly. * In 1897, Oscar Wilde was released from serving two years at hard labor in prison on charges of "gross indecency", he produced only one more piece of work, the poem The Ballad of Reading Gaol (1898) before he died in 1900. Gay & Lesbian Calendar * The Designated Hitter rule was adopted by the American League (1973) whereby an additional player is used to bat for the pitcher. * L. Douglas Wilder was sworn in as lieutenant governor of Virginian (1986). He was the first black elected to statewide office in the South since Reconstruction. He later served as governor of Virginia. * US Surgeon General Luther Terry issued the first government report saying that smoking may be hazardous to one's health. 1964. (Now Philip Morris is getting the name of cigarettes back on TV with the charity campaign to help all those in need except those dying of the cigarette habit. MORE) * NASA declared 1998 the warmest year on record. Global surface temperatures increased by 0.34% of a degree Fahrenheit. The average temperature of 58.5 degrees Fahrenheit eclipsed the previous record set in 1995. It was associated partly with a strong El Nino, a periodic warming of the Pacific Ocean. * Birthdays: Alexander Hamilton, Eugenio Maria Hostos, William James, John A. MacDonald, Theodosius I, Clarence Clemons, Ben Daniel Crenshaw, Jim Hightower, Rod Taylor, Stanley Tucci

DAILY THOUGHTS

They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad/They may not mean to, but they do. - Philip Larkin. It often seems like the voices are never going to let up. The voices are saying, "I just can’t do this. I’m too…" fat, old, stupid, smart, sloppy, good, bad. These are the kind of messages that we chew up and digest into our nervous systems over the years until a kind of bland acceptance of inadequacy clouds our thoughts. Or perhaps we go right into denial and embrace our artifice, calling it "masculine"; that is, the way it’s supposed to be. We’re not feeling that way anymore. Something is brewing. We may not be sure what it is that is on the way from those depths but it’s not likely to go away. We are starting to see that the failure to study the while self corrupts our lives. Robert Johnson says that every man must, in his life, and at the risk of his life for failing to do so, play every archetypal role. I am not trapped in my life. I can expand to fill it. A Man's Book of the Spirit

When we look at the soul of relationship, we may find positive value in failures, endings, complexities, doubts and other troubling aspects. Soul Mates

Hazardous Foods. According to the American Red Cross, these are the foods that babies and toddlers most commonly choke on: uncut round foods like grapes, raisins and olives; popcorn; nuts; hard candies; raw veggies that are cut in circles rather than strips; small, circular pieces of hot dog; and seeds such as pumpkin and sunflower. Parents Tips & Tricks

The great pleasure in life lies in doing what people say you cannot do. - Walter Bagehot. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Things to Be Happy About: An eagle soaring, a bonfire at the skating rink. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

If any part of you believes that you would be happier if you were thinner, taller, larger, firmer, blonder, stronger, or some other physical alteration you thin k would magically transform your life for the better, then you might want to spend some time learning about the value of true acceptance. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

As you live your values, your sense of identity, integrity, control and inner-directedness will infuse you with both exhilaration and peace. You will define yourself from within, rather than by people's opinions or by comparisons to others. Ironically, you'll find that as you care less about what others think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds, including their relationships with you. In addition, you'll find it easier and more desirable to change because there is something - some core deep within - that is essentially changeless. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Form a support group to help you in your quest for inner simplicity. Connecting with a group of like-minded people can provide many benefits, not the least of which is to remind you that your inner search can be fun as well as challenging. Simplify Your Life

Stockpile a selection of greeting cards (birthday, anniversary, wedding) in a desk drawer so that you won't have to worry about buying a card at the last minute. Stress Busters (As I'm buying my stockpile, I think of what I want to say to specific people and buy a card with them in mind. When I get home, I put a postit with their name on the card as a reminder. - Ed.)

Munch on a cracker treat with you kids!  Spread peanut butter onto a saltine or graham cracker. Sprinkle M&M's on top. Yummy!  To Do Today

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. - Robert F. Kennedy Win the Day!

Check expiration dates often on perishable products. If they're outdated, throw them out and don't think twice about it. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

"Ma, Ma, Where's My Pa? Gone to the White House! Ha! Ha! Ha!. Grover Cleveland, who had fathered an illegitimate child, suffered this song from his opponents. He entered the White House a bachelor, then married 21-year-old Frances Folsom (not the child's mother), the daughter of his late law partner. He was nearly three decades her senior. The Old Farmer's Almanac

 To minimize bent nails, keep your eye on the nail, not the hammer. Stanley do-it-yourself Handyman Hints

Maybe liking your spouse doesn't sound very romantic, very sexy. But what about the everyday real romance of just enjoying each other's company? Or is it only soft candlelight and smooth jazz that counts as romance? If so, try expanding romance to include activities, experiences and feelings you'd enjoy with a friend - only they're happening with your lover. All you have to do is stay conscious of liking your spouse's company. Whether it be shopping together, juggling the travel bags together, even just taking a walk together - if you like being with each other - that can be romance, too!  Isn't it a miracle to love the everyday company of the person you enjoy making love with?! Today, make a list of all the things you like about your spouse, stuff you'd like even if you weren't in love and married. When you're together, even running errands, stay focused on liking your spouse and see if it doesn't make even the errands a romantic event. I like as well as love my spouse. "It's an extra dividend when you like the girl you're in love with. - Clark Gable.  Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

Existir (ehkseesTEER) - To exist. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: SCALING BACK

Do not on any account attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once. - W. C. Seller

If we could, we would. I've known work addicts whose minds are racing away. They're at their computers, trying madly, complaining that the keyboard cannot keep up with their thoughts. They're driving their secretaries to record their words at Olympian speed, becoming irritated if the pace isn't matched. I'm not suggesting that these workers are to bright, able people, but they seem to mix up speed with quality of thought. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. My pace is not yours, and I should not inflict mine on you. I will be aware of my demands and my boundaries in the future. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Be the Change:  How meditation can transform you and the world by Ed & Deb Shapiro. A prisoner in a Chinese jail, the author was able to find solace by sitting quietly in contemplation. Deeply affected by the experience of walking on the moon, astronaut Edgar Mitchell went from exploring outer space to discovering the vastness of inner space. While coping with HIV, Mark Matousek found healing through group meditation. Seane Corn used her yoga and meditation expertise to work with child prostitutes in Los Angeles. In the last few decades, people in all walks of life have begun to realize the profound benefits of meditation. While this ancient practice is personally transformative in that it calms the mind and reduces stress, awakens the heart, and deepens insight, can meditation also change the world for the better? Two award-winning authors and some of today's most notable voices explore this issue, reflecting on how looking within can resolve issues such as anger and fear, inspiring a movement toward a more caring and peaceful future. Sterling Ethos, www.sterlingpublishing.com, 2009 ISBN 978-1-4027-6001-3

 

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

January is: Birth Defects Prevention, Cervical Health Awareness, National Voluteer Blood Donor; Bald Eagle Watch; Celebration of Life; Fat Free Living; International Get Over It; International Life Balance; It's Okay to Be Different; Love Yourself; March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention; National Be On-Purpose; National Book; National Clean Up Your Computer; National Environmental Policy Act; National Eye Care; National Glaucoma Awareness; National High-Tech; National Personal Self-Defense Awareness; National Poverty in America Awareness; National Reaching Your Potential; National Yours, Mine and Ours; Senior-Spirit; Sew for the Cure Month.

12/26-1/1: Kwanzaa. 12/31-1/6: Celebration of Life; Diet Resolution; National Lose Weight/Feel Great; New Year's Resolution; Silent Record Week; 1/5-13: Wilderness Wildlife Week of Nature. 1/6-12: Someday We'll Laugh About This Week.1/7-11: National Graves' Disease Awareness Week. 1/7-13: Universal Letter-Writing Week. 1/10-17: International Thank You Days. 1/13-19: Fire the Boss, International Printing, Let Men Be Our Heroes, Special Education Week. 1/14-18: Manwatchers Week. 1/20-26: Healthy Weight, National Creative Frugality, National Nurse Anesthetists, Solo-Preneuring Week. 1/21-25: Direct Deposit Week. 1/22-28: No Name Calling Week 1/21-25: *National Consumer Protection Week. 1/31-2/3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas/Groundhog's Day. 1/1: Attention to Dreams and Desires; Get a Life; Saint Basil's; Z Day. 1/2: Happy New Year for Cats; National Thrift with Flair Day. 1/6: International Respect-full Living Day; National Smith Day. Jan 7: United Kingdom Solid Gold Hat Day. Orthodox Christian Christmas. 1/8: National Bubble; Clean-Off-Your-Desk; Joygerm: Saint Gudula's Feast; Show & Tell at Work Day. 1/12 - National Handwriting Day. 1/15 - Humanitarian, Moliere, National Thank God It's Monday Day. 1/16 - Psychiatric Technicians Day. 1/18: Get to Know Your Customer Day. 1/19: International Sing-out Day. 1/20: Penguin Awareness Day. 1/21: National Hugging, World Religion Day. 1/22: World Religions Day, Celebration of Life Day. 1/23: Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day. 1/24: Just Do It Day - Make the Connection, National Compliment Day. 1/25: A Room of One's Own Day. 1/26: Fun at Work Day, Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement; Spouse's Day. 1/29: Freethinker's, National Puzzle Day. 1/30: Inane Answering Machine Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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